Dear Sara,
I hope you're doing good! Ashton told me and I was speechless but I can't imagine how you're feeling. I just really hope you are okay. I miss you.
I just wanna know am I a bad friend because you didn't tell me? I just feel like I wasn't trust worthy enough and that's why you didn't tell me or maybe you just didn't want to which is perfectly fine.
It's three in the morning and I just needed to write and know you're okay.
I miss you.
Love, Sam
After writing my letter to Sara, I closed my laptop and finished my Dr. Pepper that was sitting on my nightstand.
I couldn't sleep so I had to occupy myself. I wish I could go outside and feel the cool air tickle my skin. The crisp air was what I needed to just relax and calm down.
I've had so much caffeine I'm not going to be able to sleep for a few more hours.
I decide to open my window, letting the cool air in, cuddling up in a soft blanket as I listen to the CD Luke gave me of songs that relax him.
He told me before he came to this school he made CDs full of songs for different moods like happy, excited, sad or soothing.
I love Luke's music taste so when he gave me the CD I was really excited to listen to it when I needed to relax.
As the second song was finishing, I heard rustling in the bushes by my window.
At first I froze up, extremely scared who it could be but when I heard a "Sam!" in a familiar voice, I relaxed, letting the dark haired boy in my room.
"What are you doing Calum?" I whisper, knowing we could get caught.
"I really need to talk to you." He states, closing my window and sitting on my couch as I sit back down on my bed.
"What's up?" I ask.
"I just thought I could talk to you, as an escape to Sara."
"Calum," I sigh, feeling my stomach knot.
I feel awful for Calum. What could he be possibly feeling? He must feel so confused and alone.
"I just wish she would've said goodbye or just talked to me before she got up and left."
"I know,"
"Did she act strange around you at all?"
"The last time she talked to me was after that one assembly and she asked to go out for lunch but bailed on me."
"She wasn't pregnant then," he furrows his eyebrows.
"When was the last time she talked to you?"
"Two days before she left. She didn't act suspicious at all."
"Have you guys... ya know...?"
"What?"
"Have you guys like got-"
"Had sex before?"
"Yeah,"
"No."
"Really?"
"Yeah why?"
"I just thought you did, I don't know," I shrug my shoulders.
"This was our first time together and it ended terribly." He pouts.
"I'm so sorry, Calum," I get up from my bed to give Calum a hug.
"Thank you. I'm gonna try to go to bed,"
"Good night, Calum. Don't get caught,"
What he said next was so quite yet I could faintly hear him say, "nothing matters anymore," which made my heart break.
~*~
I ended up falling asleep at five and waking up to a knock at my door at two.
I put my glasses on, fixing my messy hair before opening my door to be met with Luke.
"Well good morning Sleeping Beauty," he smirks, walking in my dorm, closing the door behind him.
"I went to bed super later, shut up!" I groan, laying back down on my bed as Luke sits at the end of my mattress.
"What were you doing?"
"I wrote to Sara like you told me,"
"That's good!" He smiles, rubbing my thigh.
"Ooh maybe she wrote back!" I beam, grabbing my laptop off the floor next to my bed, opening it up and going straight to my email.
"Is that what you did all night?"
"No, Calum came by,"
"Really?"
"Yeah, he said I was his escape to Sara... I don't know," I say, not looking up at him instead just going to my inbox but nothing was there.
"She didn't write back." I close my laptop and put it aside.
"Maybe she hasn't been on her email yet today, I mean she is pregnant." He shrugs his shoulders.
"Can I have a hug?" I blurt out.
Luke looks up from his lap, raising his eyebrows and smiling bright at me.
"Of course!" He coos, sitting me up to give me a tight hug, kissing my neck softly before pulling away but not letting go. Instead he pushes me over on my bed so he can lay down with me.
"Oh and something else Calum said last night..."
"What?"
"He was actually extremely sad... I told him to not get caught and he said nothing even matters anymore," I say as I play with Luke's long, calloused fingers. "Has he ever like acted or said anything like that before?"
"Um, well I think one of the reasons he came to this place was because of his depression so he always kinda acted careless sometimes."
"He has depression?" I furrow my eyebrows.
"I don't know if it has gotten better but this definitely isn't helping with it,"
"Oh my god," I sigh, rolling over so my head is buried in Luke's chest. "I feel so bad."
"Sam," Luke's sighs, laying his hand on the side of my face, holding me closer to his chest. "It's gonna be okay."
~*~
SHOUTOUT TO noexluke FOR TRANSLATING THIS STORY IN RUSSIAN!!!
thanks for reading loves!
i hope you're enjoying this story! plz tell me how you feel bc all the comments I get are UPDATE OMG UPDATE like I wanna know if it's really good not just to update I want feedback
ok thanks bye
