Kirito x Asuna

"I'll surrender who I am for you"

(* means play the song)
~Asuna's Point Of View~

This is dumb.
     I couldn't help thinking to myself.
     It had already been a long hour after...Lis, during the time, I argued with myself over several things. One of them being the contemplation of Kirito and Akemi.
      Every time I thought of the way he held her, the way he kissed her, with such passion and ferocity-I didn't need to see Akemi to know she was doing the same- my throat burned until tears filled my eyes, begging to be released.
      "I guess it means they're dating" I stated in my 45 degree room, the words coming out in icy breaths. Time taking my memory back to the day in Aincrad, that fateful day of that kiss still made shivers run up my spine and a blush flush my face. I remember having to date the records of our first kiss, the real or the first, deciding not to be so technical, I counted the Sword Art Online version to no accord or specific purpose.
      Now a fiery rage grew inside my head, wiping the sorrow and pity for myself away. She would be his, him hers. The thought shocked me more than I had originally anticipated.
      I did this for her though!....right?
      Finding the hard foundation for my prior actions tangible, I bit my tongue with anger. I was being an idiot, an insecure, jealous idiot that thought everything would work out. But this wasn't like anything I had originally planned for or thought of planning, everything was a mess.
"Not like I can go back now. Kirito is gone." Although not completely comprehending the statement itself, I knew the words were bitter to the taste. "He's...gone" I didn't feel like crying. I didn't feel anger, or sadness, want. I felt empty. Hollow. Like a..
"A meaningless heart" It wasn't completely true, but it was more than not. A good hour took the true senses out of me and showed itself. While I laid on my bed looking at my pale ceiling, shadows of memories were left all around my room with kirito. Particularly the bed.
      Kirito holding me in the dead of night, staying much longer than my mother had wanted, but accepted the excuse of getting home later than usual. Snuggling into his chest and being wrapped around his arms was the best feeling in the world.
      Or when the flustered Kirito held his breaths when I pecked carefully over his neck and collar on one of our secret sleepovers. His quiet moans and fidgeting showed his failure, but I continued anyway, my love's face beet red.
      They all surrounded me and made me regret my rash decision. I should've known that I wasn't humble, wasn't willing to give up the one person that made me me for someone-anyone else! Every time this thought came to my mind, I couldn't decide whether it was important enough to care or if it was absolutely everything.
My only other remedy other than Kirito was the memories we had left in ourselves and our past. I picked up the amusphere with cold fingers and laid back on my bed, apparently my temperature controlled curtains didn't only know the coldness, but my emotions too as they slowly met in the middle making my room a dark dismal space.
      My chest heaved up and down while the air around me seemed to freeze to a crisp and send its icy tendrils up my spine. I ignored the numbness from my fingers and toes while I dove into another world without any consent to return to this one.
      "Link Start"

                  ***********************
      Now thinking about it, I feared that Kirito possibly might've had the same idea and found himself in this other world. Now standing awkwardly in my last saving point, the soft cushiony bed beneath me reminded me of who I last laid here with.
I looked to the top right corner of my vision and read the time. 16:38, he had to be on by now. Pulling up the window of online friends, I searched for the name I knew so familiarly well that even my system had his name in the beginning. Next to the six letter name, the green light indicating his arrival was a deep grey circle next to the bright green ones.
      "Looks like he's not here" surprisingly, I sighed with relief. Now thinking about it though, I praised the new software system for letting our avatar disappear along with our conscious. It would've been awkward if I came across the lightly breathing Kirito next to me with the shockingly same demeanor of the sleeping one in the real world.
      I slowly used the strength in my arms to connect my feet with the wooden boards beneath me. A feeling of lightness succumbed me after standing freely on the ground, almost enough to make me lose my balance. Whether it be the moment of stress less thoughts, or my weight factor, I blushed after I found myself leaning on the wall fro support.
I sighed, and pulled up my window once more to set my avatar's weight a bit higher. I didn't know if it was my mind playing tricks, but I didn't want my physical stability the same as my emotions.
From there, walking was easier, but the question then came, "where am I supposed to go?" I never really thought of it until now, but I knew staying here with too many memories crashing over me wasn't going to be much easier. I looked outside and suddenly longed for a quick high off my low.
The winter winds struck my face with such ferocity I contemplated wearing something warmer around me. But wiped away that thought when I thought of warmth being connected to Kirito's lean arms covering me. Without another second to remind me, my wings materialized and spread out in a heart beat, but not being fast enough, I plunged into the air. The crisp air choking me, but I didn't let it show when I held my breath until the very height of my peak. The bright message "Airborne limit" blinking more rapidly the closer I got only encouraged me more.
The blinking sounds in my ears sounded like silver bells after the amount of time from no oxygen in my body. Sure it was a game, but holding your breath for more than thirty seconds activated the underwater gauge. Halfway drawn, I could already feel dizzying effects on my avatar and mind at this mind blowing height.
My mana was in the red zone now, indicting loss of strength and wing stamina, but I continued until the silver bells were now a ringing sound in my eardrums. A tight feeling and a slight pang of pain surged my body, then without warning my wings disappeared and all was silent for a split second.
Then came gravity getting jealous of my freedom and pulled me back down. I let the underwater gauge fade as I breathed life back into myself and let the bells jingle a few more seconds. The freezing cold temperature accompanied the sights of falling snow, bright white moon and the lights of stars decorating the dark blue night sky.
*I forgot everything.
Kirito, Lis, Akemi, School, Home, and Life all dissipated and death over came the roaring winds. I turned my body towards the hurtling ground beneath and wished I fell faster, wished I wasn't hurting so I could feel pain, wished I was okay so I could hurt. Tears flew past my cheeks, but I quickly wiped them away and faced my fears with confidence. Getting closer, and closer, I finally became one with the ground.
Once my HP was shrunken to the point of respawning, the ground broke and I was succumbed. I was floating, yeah floating. I opened my eyes and was drifting to the bottom of the lake I didn't care noting when I was falling. A grin overpassed my worries and I let the last of my HP out with bubbles around me. The soft sand reminded me of the bed in our cabin and the nights when he'd hold me closely, not letting a single molecule between us. I smiled knowing he loved me so much and for so long, but all things had to come to an end, ours just came faster.
I looked at my ice cold pale hand and realized I was the catalyst in this experiment.
Finally, the Crimson colored message showed up "You Are Dead". Below were options of my next move: respawn or log out. My avatar's shaky finger traced the bottom of log out with anxiety but finally pushed the option after the time read 17:00-the time my mother arrived.
I opened my blood shot eyes as I slowly removed the amusphere from my eyes and sighed after the exhilaration of my emotions taking over again. I looked up at my ceiling once more and realized this didn't solve anything because as soon as my phone read "Incoming call from Kirito" an unimaginable feeling of premonition filled me and I feared answering, no I feared hearing his voice after what I had done. Instead, the phone continued until the ringing disappeared.
I was still in shock though from my actions, I sat still and stared at the phone through silence.
Until it started ringing again.
I didn't have to check who it was after I grabbed my phone and answered without looking or letting it ring again.
"Hello?" My shaky voice showered the room in somber thoughts.
"Hello?! Hello! Are you there??" The voice wasn't Kirito's-I knew in an instant- but a female's. Fear shrouded her voice that I could basically see her worried face.
"I'm here, what's going on? Why do you have Kirito's phone?"
"There's been an accident! the ambulance is on their way"
"Accident?" I let the word linger.
"H-He's not breathing! I-I...I hit him with my car but I didn't see him! Snow, it was everywhere! A-and then-"
My floor had company as the phone splattered onto it in an instant. My eyes wide, My body shook frantically as I held the bed beneath me in desperate support. Kirito isn't....breathing? He's....dead?..
     From somewhere hidden within me, the love that I held for him bursted out with such ferocity, I grabbed my coat and flew out of my room with a hint of memories of Asuna Vice Commander of Knights Of The Blood Oath along with me.
All I could possibly think of was his laugh, scent, smile, arms, body, eyes, love, everything I loved about him came rushing in like a dam had broken.
I knew in that instant that I loved him. I loved him so much it had hurt me and killed me. He was the only one who could do this to me, who could make me doubt my own life for his happiness.
I knew I wanted him back.
Whatever I took.
I had to get him back.
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Hey guys, it's been forever so I'll keep it short and sweet. To be quite honest, I didn't edit or correct, so if you see anything funky Gomenesai *bows*

I know I've been making you all wait and I apologize greatly and sincerely, please forgive me.

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