Kirito x Asuna

Stop thinking

I swear, literally Sunday nights are not my nights. My brain goes places it definitely should not be going at midnight. My thoughts won't stop thinking and I basically almost relapsed :/ so sorry if I publish this at like 3 am,

     "Akemi" It didn't seem like I had said it out loud, but underwater, because as soon as the words left my lips, everything was in slow motion.
     The light skinned girl and I faced each other. Each of us expectantly waiting for a response, or at least a movement.
"What are you doing here?" My words caught a hint of vile, as I instinctively stood up straighter. I wouldn't buy her "innocent" side that I thought when I first met her. She knew what she wanted and she would get it anyway she possibly could- even if it wasn't intentionally.
"T-they called me" she said, almost convincing me that maybe I had made a mistake.
"They called you?" I asked again in a trance.
She turned back to the window that separated the two lovebirds, and I felt a rush of jealousy heat over me. I didn't want to make a scene proving a point I had put into action in the first place, so breathing in and walking through the door, my voice was laced with a cry as I ushered her in.
                 She looked scared at first, but quickly nodded and stepped into Kirito's room.
           "You don't have to let me in" she almost whispered, but I shook my head. The situation was different now. It didn't matter about the drama, the useless accusing and anger, lives were at stake-everything else seemed so small and minuscule now.
Everything could literally be gone
        I thought, now realizing what our lives meant when Kirito was barely breathing for his.
       "I'm sorry" I almost didn't believe myself when I said the words.
Why was I apologizing? What did I do?
       Akemi seemed to hear my words through her whimpers, and met my eyes, "for what? I'm the one who stole him"
      I shook my head, "I gave him to you" I took a seat across Kirito, facing Akemi. Her tear streaked face convinced my inner anger to fade, and ask what I really wanted to know, "what happened?"
      Another whimper. "I-I don't know after he dropped me off, he walked home! I didn't know, I should've known! He, he was..."
     I nodded along, tracing my fingernails as I imagined Kirito pressing his lips fiercely against hers, like his life depended on it.
    "He looked so dazed and in a trance..why didn't I walk him home?!" Akemi buried herself in her hands and broke down like the rest.
     His hands on her waist, pulling her closer with each kiss, with each touch he wanted her.
"This is all my fault, I know it! If I hadn't kissed him, then"
His mouth opening, breathing her in... My hands curled up violently, as I muttered to myself to stop thinking about it. The way his eyes were closed, completely entranced by her...
"I think you need to go" I cut her off from her rambling and whispered the sentence I didn't want to say it, but I had to or else something bad was going to happen.
     Akemi seemed to sense my anger, as her words faded off and she stood up, coming towards me, "Asuna, I'm sorry,....if I hadn't intervened between the two of you then..." She couldn't finish the sentence as her eyes were stuck on the floor.
I think we both understood for a second that it was our faults completely, but the ticking of the timeless clock and our stubbornness must've blinded us again as my eyes met with her's.
     "Then maybe he would be alive and breathing right now" I finished the sentence.
      She looked hurt at first, but then knew it was true. "I know" she nodded along, wiping the tears away from her face and looked back at Kirito sadly, "I didn't mean for this to happen. Not like this."
"He kissed you" I said quietly, "he kissed you and I was there, I saw him kiss you like it was the only thing he wanted to do" my voice heightened with each word. Still not facing Akemi, I whispered what I wanted to say since I saw her at the beginning of the day. "I love him and I want him...but I know that you need him" I didn't know my voice was wavering until she looked away guilty.
"Stop it"
"I knew it was selfish of me! You needed him and he was going to be there for you when you needed him, I was just keeping him from helping"
"Don't"
I ignored her whisper, and continued my train of thoughts I had dangerously piled inside of me,"I know what happens when you're alone, when you're tired of trying to live! When you're literally just breathing to know you're still alive, because you can't tell any other way!"
"Asuna.."
"I know! And it sucks okay?! I know you know what it feels like and I couldn't-I wouldn't let that happen to you!"
"You don't know anything about me!"
I stopped talking and looked down at Akemi, her face down wth tears dripping off her nose while her hands were balled up in fists furiously, "you don't know me! So stop acting like you do! You don't know anything! You don't know the ache in my chest when he left me! Or when he promised me he would never leave! He promised! He promised...he promised...he promised..." Akemi shrunk to the ground slowly, "but he left anyway. He promised but left me anyways." She hugged her knees closer to herself, her tears now decorating her jeans, "why did he leave me?"
Silence
"You should go" I repeated, closing my eyes and sighing. "Just go".
      Maybe because I'm a bad person, but I can't let her do this to me. Even if it's unintentional. I wanted Kirito back, I needed him back.
      "Leave" whatever it took to get him back, I promised myself that much. She had to leave.

Dramatic end yes? Sorry I love drama probs cause I'm a drama llama.

It's currently one am & it's just one of those nights honestly. I promised myself I wouldn't relapse but I'm human & a sucky one at that *shrug* but enough about me,

I hoped you liked. Vote and share with friends.

Also if you've read this far, comment what helps you stay awake on Mondays after a 3am session. Greatly appreciated.

Till next time