ripped jeans | hes

four

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accismus (noun) - frightening disinterest in something while actually secretly desiring it

"Are you dead?"

"Yes." I breathlessly mumbled into the softness of my pillow.

Before I could argue with what little energy I had, I felt crisp air sting against my bare legs as my duvet was quickly pulled off me.

Blindsided, I instantly sat up in bed, furious that I had been awaken. In a vulnerable state of confusion, I spotted my best friend, Aria, sitting happily at the edge of my bed with my duvet comfortably wrapped around her like a parka.

"I said yes!" I practically shouted. "Aria!"

"Addison!" She mocked my voice and I childishly stuck my tongue at her.

"What time is it?"

"Six." 

Good. Just great. Everything is great.

"I have a class in two hours," I leaned my forehead onto my fist, lightly tapping my knuckles against my skull. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

She smiled at my misfortune. "It's fine, I'll drive you."

"Thank you." I laid my face back on my soft pillow, my eyes fluttering back to a peaceful close. "Goodnight."

"Don't go back to sleep!" Aria roughly twisted the skin on my hand, making me dramatically cry out. "You're already up! Stay up and talk to me!"

"I want to kill you." I pretended to strangle her but we laughed instead. I hesitantly agreed to her wishes, sitting up in bed with my pillow placed on my lap.

"I can't go to sleep," she pouted.

"Did you just get home?" I groaned, making a lame attempt to get my duvet back but Aria was too swift.

"No, I came home last night. I was just on the couch watching Modern Family. I thought you were dead so I came up to check on you. Turns out you're not dead."

"Unfortunately."

She ignored my passive aggressive comment. "I haven't seen you all day. I missed you."

"I know, I know. I missed you too, Ar." I wiped the sleep out of my eye with the back of my hand. "How was work?"

I loved my best friend too much to stay mad at her for long.

And plus, I didn't have enough energy to fight her. I just wanted to go back to bed, I never was a morning person.

Although, I do plan on getting my revenge on her for waking me up.

Aria's face lit up with excitement, making me smile at her fondly. "You will not believe what happened at work today. It's crazy."

"Let's hear it."

*   *   *

It felt like hours had passed by the time Aria had finished her story. Her intriguing story included a growth of a sexual tension between her and her coworker Brad, and Brad's old chick named Maria who is now Aria's sworn enemy.

After her classes, Aria sometimes worked night shifts as a barista at the college Starbucks. You'd be surprised how much drama occurred at the college Starbucks.

"So, what have you been up to?"

"Actually, something really weird just happened." I lazily twisted my long hair into the most messy of buns.

"What? Tell me."

I pursed my lips, trying to figure out how to explain the odd situation. "There's this British guy I met at BoneFish when I was 18. Haven't talked to him since and he suddenly gives me a random call today. Apparently he lives in LA now with some friends. He's a nice guy, really funny."

"Oooh, British," Her dark eyes grew to the size of saucers, making me laugh. "What's his name?"

"Harry."

"Harry? Like, Prince Harry?"

I snorted at the thought of Harry being royalty with his rubbish manners. "No. Like, Harry Styles."

"Is he cute?"

I gave a disappointing shrug, truthfully not able to answer. "I mean, he was hot when I saw him last. But that was three years ago, so who knows?"

"Well, that's exciting, isn't it?"

"I mean, I guess," I picked at my nails, my eyes downcast. "I don't really think it's going anywhere. It was just one phone call."

I didn't have much to say about Harry. But Aria thought it was the cutest thing ever.

"But still, it's interesting." Aria hopped off my bed, my cool duvet still wrapped around her, and began to pick through my dresser. "Are you going to meet up with him or something?"

"I don't know." I told her. "He asked me to hang out sometime but I have to think about it. The whole thing might just be quixotic."

"Put these on." Aria threw some clothes at me, which I caught in one hand. "I don't see why not. Just to see what he's all about."

"Maybe."

 "Your history with boys is very nonexistent."

"Boys are assholes." I pointed out, peeling off my pajama shirt and replacing it with a dark blue striped shirt. "Besides Mason and Alec."

Aria whipped around and thrusted an angry finger in my sorry direction. "That's what you always say.  Just because one guy broke your heart doesn't mean all boys, except Mason and Alec, are assholes."

"Yes, it does."

"You're not open minded, and that's why you're always single," Aria confronted. "You're just so cynical sometimes."

"Maybe I like being single." I countered, sliding into some dark jeans. "Ever thought of that? I'm only 21, I'm young, I'm not trying to be cuffed to some horny frat boy who lives by 'YOLO'. That's just not what I want, it's not me."

My best friend gave me a knowing look, but I had too much pride to admit that she was right. "I'm not saying you have to be cuffed to anybody, Ad. But you can at least give somebody a chance."

"Giving somebody a chance means opening up. And opening up means being vulnerable. And being vulnerable means your heart being broken." I smartly told Aria, who scoffed unhappily.

"Not all guys are like Dylan-"

"No. I don't want to talk about it anymore." I held up my hand. Aria opened her mouth to protest but I firmly shook my head. "Just drop it."

"Fine." Aria sighed and headed towards my bedroom door. "Just meet me downstairs when you're ready."

"Shit. I'm sorry." I sighed loudly out of vexation once she was out of the room, rubbing circles into my temples with my thumbs.

I didn't mean to sound like an asshole.

Our conversations regarding my overly-complicated love life always ended the same: Aria complaining about my bachelor lifestyle and me complaining about the true morals of men.

I was so sure that men were just out for sex that I couldn't let myself get too close. After Danny, I swore to myself that I wouldn't let another man fuck me over.

I was so convinced that nobody could change my mind.

Nobody.