ripped jeans | hes

twenty two

frisson (noun)- a sudden, small quiver of fear or emotional excitement; a thrill.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere."

"Oh really?" I snorted dryly. "I've never seen somebody who's going to nowhere look so nice."

I was sat in the living room, peacefully watching Modern Family with a book in my lap. I had almost drifted to sleep, but I caught Aria covertly opening the front door before I had fully fallen into the coma of sleep.

Aria quickly stopped in her tracks, still holding the door half open. Her darkly colored lips parted open in alarm, stumbling to make an excuse.

"I was just, um-" Aria stammered to answer, slowly shutting the front door and taking a step towards me.

Aria was wearing a denim button-up shirt and black spandex leggings. She had on dark brown combat boots and her dark, luxurious, hair was pulled back in a sleek ponytail that tumbled down her back.

"You look cute," I told her. "But where are you going looking so cute at nine at night?"

"I've been caught." She threw her hands up in defeat.

"Yep." I grinned mischievously at her. "Spill."

She poked her tongue against the inside of her cheek before taking a heavy breath. "I'm going over to Liam's."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "You- Liam invited you over to their apartment?"

"Yeah," she exhaled tensely. "All the boys will be home. So I should be hanging with Louis, Niall, and um, Harry, as well."

"Oh," I creased my lips together. "Sounds fun."

"Liam said you could come, too," Aria added promptly. "But you know, Harry's most likely going to be there. And I didn't want you to...you know."

I hadn't heard any word from Harry in a week.

I wasn't sure if he was waiting for me to contact him, or if I was waiting for him. I thought about calling him every single day, to just check in, but I didn't want to push things.

I didn't want to start something I couldn't handle.

I definitely missed his British accent and the way he talked so slowly. I missed his stupid jokes that were so annoying and childish yet somehow made me laugh.

I missed the way my body reacted to his knowing touch, I missed the way he never ceased to surprise me. 

As much as I hated to admit it, I missed Harry. I was still too afraid to do anything about it, so I decided that maybe I'd just forget about...whatever we had together.

But maybe he could end my fear, be the thing that I was missing in my life. Or maybe that was too much to ask for.

All these damn indefinites.

"Um, how'd you find out about Harry and I?" I chewed my bottom lip.

Aria shifted her weight. "Liam told me the other day. And I knew something was up, you've been acting off lately."

I hummed, my eyes traveling at the ceiling. I let out a dragging breath and tenderly fluttered my eyes shut, trying to think.

"You know what?" I had finally came to a decision.

"What?"

"I'm coming with you," I concluded and Aria's eyebrows immediately flew up in surprise.