There Was No World For Her, If There Was No Damon

Memories

Elena's POV:

April 14

Dear Diary,

It's been so long since I last confided in your soft pages and felt the feeling of my pen against your paper as I wrote my thoughts and feelings down. So much has happened in my life that I no longer know where to begin. I have long since stopped loving Stefan for reasons I don't know how to explain. When he ran off with Klaus for four years something deep down told me that maybe I had made the wrong choice. It was confirmed when he showed up with Rebekah at the hospital when Miranda was born. Damon saved my life that night and he's continued to save me. He was the one who was there for me through everything. He was the one who automatically knew something was wrong the minute he looked at my face. He was the one who comforted me through every heartbreak and through every loss of a loved one. Damon was the one who's shirt was stained by my tears and he was the one who refused to leave my side unless he knew I was okay. Damon had and still does let down every wall he had brutally put up due to how many times he had been hurt only with me. He showed me and only me who the real Damon was. I was blinded by what I thought was love for Stefan to see how much Damon really cared about me. Even if the world was ending and all hell was breaking loose, Damon could still make me laugh. Caroline was right when she said that Damon had gotten under my skin. Damon did find his way under my skin and he had found a way to stay there. He somehow found his way to my heart which had had a massive hole in it where Stefan used to be. Damon had slowly began to fill that hole little by little until before I knew it, my heart was whole again. Damon won me over the day I found out I was pregnant with his baby. The day Stella Rose was born, life as I knew it came to an abrupt end and changed drastically. I'm a vampire now. Damon knew how much I didn't want to be like this, but promised me I would be okay. He kept true to his word and taught me how to control the urges and how to hunt properly. Then because of some horrible decisions made by Stefan, Damon died and I gave away my humanity. Six years went by and I had become a serial killer. I murdered hundreds of people. I was a monster. Then by some miracle done by Klaus, Damon was alive and I let my humanity take control once again. We had missed the first six years of our daughter's life and I regret every second of it every day. Stella has gotten so beautiful that it amazes me yet scares me. It scares me because she looks exactly like I did as a little girl except her eyes. She has her father's amazing blue eyes. After everything we've been through, I've finally figured out that my love for Stefan wasn't real. It never was real. I was seventeen. It was just a hopeless teenage romance that would've never gone anywhere. I'm twenty eight now and a mother of the most beautiful and perfect little girl imaginable. Even though I've probably lost Damon, the love I had and still have for him was genuine. My love for him was the real thing. I hope he knows that and keeps it with him. I love you, Damon and nothing will make me stop loving you. I'll love you until my last breath and even then I'll still love you.

~Elena<3

As I studied the ink black words on the pages I chewed on the end of my pen. I set my diary down on the comforter and pulled the pen away from my mouth as I thought. How could I turn I into the old bitchy Katherine Pierce?! How could I just stand there and let Stefan shove his tongue down my throat?! How could I betray Damon and on my wedding night?! How could I be so stupid?!

I threw my diary away from me and it hit the wall as fresh tears fell down my face. I was such an idiot! A big freaking idiot!

My tear filled eyes traveled from my diary on the floor to Damon's bookshelf that stood against the wall. Damon's blue diary stood out on the middle shelf among the other worn books.

I flashed in front of the bookshelf, pulled out the diary then traced the golden design with my finger like I had so many years ago. I fought with myself over whether I should invade Damon's privacy and take another glimpse into his thoughts. I then noticed that something was stuck in the middle of the diary's pages. I opened the diary and pulled out a photo that was identical to the one Stella had on her night stand. It was a photo of Damon and me at a carnival that we went to together. I then realized that it was the carnival we went to right after Stefan ditched me for the umpteenth time that week, but Damon didn't know it until later that night.