Dancing on Eggshells

This is the part when Mom takes us Halloween Shopping , It does not end well

As Kayden and I's relationship started blooming, he eventually asked me if I wanted to come over to his house.
I can't say it happened out of nowhere.
It was a beautiful Friday , the week before Halloween. Kayden and I were walking home together after a rehearsal. We then got into a strange topic about movies . That's when it happened: Kayden asked me if I wanted to come over to watch a movie with him...at his house.
Of course, I accepted the offer .

No one was at home when we got to Kayden's house. His house was shaped and designed similar to mine except for different designs and slightly different features, his garden was smaller than mine for instance. He explained that his brother was at soccer practice at this time of the day and his mother only got home at about six to seven on a Friday night.
"Are you always alone"? I asked as we walked up the stairs to go to his room.
"No, Friday is just the busiest time of the week at the hospital and my brother is usually home before me, it's just today". Kayden said.
His room was painted a royal blue. The rest of his room was normal, a desk shoved in the corner and a closet on the other side. What I admired was the the walls were decorated with movie posters and band posters which I was fond of. One of the movie posters was Moonrise Kingdom, my favorite movie of all time .
We watched it.
Thanks to the power of Netflix, we could literally watch anything. During our weeks of hanging out together, I had learned from Kayden that he wants to make movies one day, that's his passion in life.
Even though I was spending a good amount of time with Kayden, I was also making time for my best friends. We actually went shopping last Sunday for my mom as a favor. We thought it would be easy. We thought that all we had to do was read the list and then find those things in the grocery store.
I know that is how you actually grocery shop, but Mom made this more of an impossible scavenger hunt that was set in the big maze from Harry Potter and The Goblet and Fire. There's also a psychotic unicorn chasing you and yelling The Smiths song Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now at the top of it's lungs.
In other words: it's awful.
We couldn't find anything on the list despite that mom described it as 'simple':

Shopping List
For Keoria and friends

• Washing Liquid with the purple brand name that kind of has that sparkle and the muscle man at the front who wears a yellow mask .At the back , it also tells the story of the 'muscle man'.
•The tapons with the picture of the girl jumping into the air. I remember her wearing a bright red shirt and saying in her own special speech bubble 'This shirt isn't blood, I don't have to worry about that!' I think it's a really morbid advert but they are very comfortable and let me do cardio. I struggle to do cardio with other tampons for some reason, it's strange. I think you should try them, they're made for small...private parts.

•Dog Food for Lana, the dog food that is yellow and has the cutest picture of a little dog on his back with his tongue sticking out! I think it's so adorable!
•People Magazine,  they said there would be a poster of Matt Damon in this issue and I want to stick it up in my office.
•Mints, I have bad breath in November for some strange reason.
•Bananas.

Yeah, we found bananas and mint, that's it. Oh and the People magazine, we found that as well.
"Girls, how could you not notice the items"? My mom questioned when we arrived back.
"Mom, there was no box of tampons with a girl jumping in the air with blood all over her!" I said.
"Keoria...I told you the shirt wasn't made of blood, it just looks like it".
That was a plan just waiting to fail.
But Mom had other plans when I arrived home from Kayden's house.
"Keoria!" She called as I stepped through the front door.
She was wearing a baby blue dress and blue high heels to match it . She looked like the sky had vomited all over her.
"Hi". I said.
I wasn't worried, I could see excitement instead of rage in her face.
"Leslie was just telling me about the Halloween Dance!"
Damn it, Leslie. Forget not being worried, I could see my life beginning to unravel in a matter of seconds.
"I can't believe you and your brother didn't tell me!"
"Well, Chris will probably go as Bobby and Bobby will go as Chris".
Bobby is Chris's best friend, he's a idiot. It's really weird how Booby (I've been calling him this since I met him when he came to our house on Chris's first day of first grade . Mom volunteered to take him home when the school was informed that Bobby's mom had slipped off a treadmill at the gym and -as she would explain to my mother- almost died or close to becoming paralyzed. It was her first time and last time at the gym.) and Chris go as eachother for Halloween each year.
"Well, what about you"? She asks.
Huh, I haven't thought of it.
I had to think fast.
"Um...um...um...Lana".
"The dog"?
"No, Lana Del Rey!"
She stared at me.
"Honestly, I gave birth to the most insane children on this planet". She mumbled to herself.
"You probably ate too many Starbucks brownies during Chris and I's pregnancy ".
Mom rolled her eyes and acted like she hadn't heard me tell the truth.
" Leslie, Monica and I have discussed it and I'm going to take you, Violet and Winona Halloween shopping". She continued.
No, no,no, whenever you shop with Mom, you end up in Zara for the next two hours.
A costume store...oh my god.
Monica is Winona's mom, by the way.
My face was blank, I was just nodding. For some odd reason, my mom came up to me and hugged me.
"Keoria, have you ever heard of affection towards your mother for doing something nice for your friends and you"? She asked as she hugged (strangled) me.
I put my arms around  her and attempted to show affection.
"You're always going on about how you want a boyfriend -"
"I don't , I'm not desperate".
"Keoria! You need to show more affection towards people!"
"Why"?
"Because people want to be loved".
"Some are people with ice for hearts who want to strangle people".
This made my mom stop hugging me.
After I had made her lose her 'hugging appetite ', we sat on the couch and watched Grey's Anatomy.
"So, that's the doctor that killed Derrick"? She began with her questions.
"She didn't kill him, she's just a useless doctor who let Derrick die".
"I don't like her".
"She reminds me of an annoying puppy".
"How can a puppy be annoying"?
"I don't know, Mom. I'm not a dog psychologist ".
"So why is Callie dating her friend's killer"?
"Callie doesn't know".
"Why didn't the doctor tell Callie"?
"The doctor's name is Penny".
"Okay, why didn't Penny tell Callie"?
"Penny didn't know that Callie had any relation to Derrick".
"Jesus, this is such a confusing program".
"It really isn't".
Mom then started going on a rant that it was weird how all the doctors were either married, in love or best friends. She said that it was very unrealistic and then complained that Merrideth looks like she's about to start crying all the time. Lastly, she said that she liked the culinary that was used in the dinner scene.
I'm never watching Grey's with Mom ever again.