Dancing on Eggshells

This is the part when Celeste asks me for a favour

On the bus this morning, my friends were verbally silent. I didn't know about them, but my thoughts were raging , noisy and hitting me like a baseball.Today is a frost bitten day. All three of us were covered by thick coats this morning to guarantee our protection. It had become the time of the year when we had all been forced to stop walking and catch the school bus in order not to freeze to death outside.
Due to the silence between us, the mood was at an ultimate low .
I was still coming to terms with the fact of what I witnessed on Saturday , and there was also Celeste to worry about.
No matter what was happening, I was always worrying. My anxiety was getting worse, especially since it was starting to focus on things other than Celeste. I was suddenly fretting about my grandparents and how long they'd live for, Wendy and what was going to happen to her, also my friendship with my friends. I all of a sudden felt like the mood was unsatisfactory whenever we talked. A vibe that was so low and lacked energy, it lacked a heart and soul. Life was becoming more difficult than it had been before...and we all were becoming aware of it. The more I think about, the more I realize that this is a sign that we're stepping on a very slow and unpleasant train that will lead us to the destination of adulthood. We're seeing the dark side of things and not laughing as much as we use to. We've seen things we didn't even know existed a few years ago, we're hearing things that we want to flush down the toilet and forget about.
We are growing up.
I knew the girls are exhausted from the weekend. They performed like stars on Friday nights and studied like scientists over the weekend. I know that in a way, I was now entirely responsible for making a joke or remark or something like that. As we sat in our seats , I stared at my best friends, the joke they were talking about moments ago was completely vanquished. I needed to do something.
"When are you going out with those guys"? I asked, trying to pull together another source to make a joke.
Violet shifted her head to face me, a vintage , black beanie was topped on her head. We were all wearing the same one as we had bought it at a H&M clearance sale.
"Tomorrow night". She replied.
I raised my eyebrows.
"Celeste wanted me to go to her for dinner tomorrow night. Looks like we both have plans".
Violet's face didn't move, it just stood emotionless like emotions were too far away to reach and find. I felt like her face almost spoke a sarcastic 'that's nice, but I don't give a shit'. It irritated me; the sour and bitter air, the color blue acting on the vibe and becoming an emotion, the fact that if I were facing a ladder-it would be low and brittle like the current stomp sphere of my mind.
"Aren't you worried"? Violet squeaked.
I cringed. I was a little irritated that Winona was isolating herself from the conversation. What the hell had happened to them to make them act so shellshocked? It was like something had happened over the weekend that had changed our whole community's mood. I knew I hadn't missed anything though, my friends and I don't  keep secrets from each other. Now all of a sudden, Violet seemed paranoid when I mentioned Celeste.
"Why would I be worried"? I asked roughly.
Finally, her face positioned itself and decided to look like a human bean instead of a heartless robot with no emotions or feelings. Her face had positioned to a face of confusion, disbelief and maybe even irritation.
"I know for a fact that the woman has gone off the rails".
Suddenly, Winona's head turned to face us.
"I can agree with that".
I hated that Winona just decided to join the conversation after we're suddenly talking about Celeste. She always seems so distant from the idea of talking about our English teacher's private life. She wants to see Celeste as Mrs Waldorf, our unusual English teacher that has emotional problems-ones that fourteen year old girls can't mend. Suddenly ,she's talking about it! I was honestly shocked. In that time frame of a quarter of a minute, I felt like I was missing a key of information...Winona and Violet knew something about Celeste that I didn't. This is what happens when my phone goes into the coma! Havoc occurs and I'm not there to sort it out!
"Did something happen"? I asked, fear and curiosity to my tone.
Winona sarcastically chuckled.
"There's so many things that have happened to Celeste!"
I rolled my eyes.
"Recently, has anything happened recently"?
"How recently"?
"Like this weekend".
"Well, she told us she was pregnant two days ago.".
I almost lost my breath when Violet said that. I had remembered that Celeste was pregnant and everything...I just can't imagine her telling Winona or Violet. Soon after I started ignoring her in early January, the girls kind of just decided to stop ignoring her because they were sick of her childish behavior. It didn't occur me that they were talking again. It was so surprising, especially since they seemed to have grown a strong dislike towards her.
"Do we really have to talk about this"? Winona said.
Both of the girls were staring at me by then, waiting for me to dismiss my overdramatic facial expression that portrayed me like I couldn't breathe . We were about five minutes away from school but had plenty of time before homeroom was called. I tried to think again after Winona groaned. It was the weird way she decided to involve her self when Violet mentioned  Celeste going off the rails and then suddenly wanted to stop talking about it. Were the girls getting the idea that whenever Celeste was brought up, I'd overreact about it? Was that becoming the reality? Was I the one that was really paranoid?
Was I becoming Celeste?
No, that's honestly insane! My parents would know by now if I was showing signs of any mental disorder , I was just becoming more mature and aware. Maybe I was obsessing.
Finally, I tried to figure out why Celeste would all of a sudden be talking to Winona and Violet on a Saturday. She barley even talked to me on the weekends anymore.
"Hey, remember when I told you on the landline on Saturday that she was trying to get hold of you"? Winona said soon after she announced she wanted to dismiss the conversation.
"Um, yeah".
I was just sitting still there like a zombie. I was just staring at the window and not even noticing what was on the outside. I just thought and stared. Isn't that what zombies basically do all day?
"Well she said she couldn't wait to call you and decided to spill her news to me instead".
"Uh-huh".
This was my idea of being calm and trying to prove that I wasn't slightly obsessed with caring for Celeste. I was trying to stay calm as I heard this news, I tried to pretend like I was listening to some stupid and brainless person on E! News who just released 'the most important news of the week' , like that time Kim Kardashian had released a nude selfie.
Wow, absolutely fantastic.
"Keoria, were you even listening to what I just said"?!
I released myself from my zombie state and looked at Winona instantly.
"Um, yeah, I kind of wasn't listening". I confessed.
Winona's eyes widened.
"Well-how do I say this without screaming my head off at you because only an idiot would miss news like this"?
Violet sighed, obviously sick of our bullshit and was ready to start her day without a huge 'Celeste breaks the world again' heading on her shoulders,
"Celeste isn't pregnant, Keoria", Violet yelled so the whole world could hear, "she lied to us. She lied about her fake pregnancy for no damn reason because she is fucking insane".
No one stared at us or went completely silent when Violet yelled, they probably thought we were talking about some Spanish telenovela.
"And don't tell me 'oh it's because she sick and unstable and crazy'- because that's not the case, Keoria. She's a trouble maker, an attention seeker-whatever the fuck you call it. I'm telling you, I am ready to tell my mom about Celeste because this is bullshit!"
Ignoring the words Violet preached, I felt my whole body aging and the pattern of a shrilled grape beginning to tattoo on my skin. My eyes suddenly felt tired, exhausted, old and aged. The same felt with my soul, it felt like my soul had been stabbed into. I felt like there was just memories being poured out of the stabbed soul and my happiness had been drained.
Violet was right, Celeste had officially gone off the rails.