Dancing on Eggshells

This is the part when very silent turmoil occurs

Today- the day after Celeste's relapse- , I only got out of bed at ten am. I was awoken by vibrates and music coming from my phone. When I looked at the caller ID, I saw Winona's picture and realized I had completely forgot to tell what had happened. I waited a moment as I let my half-asleep self remember the details of the dramatic moment of yesterday. When I answered, the first thing she said was: "I'm sorry". Violet was also with her and they announced that were sitting on the bathroom sinks at school with the speaker on. They said they were skipping English class-well, half of it.
"Ms. Myers was the one to tell us". Violet said.
"I don't think she's allowed to do that". I mentioned.
"She isn't-but Ms Myers is something else".
"Yeah-a bitch".
"I can agree on that". Violet said.
"She said Celeste pleaded insanity in court today and she's now going to be in your Dad's hospital for a while". Winona added.
"Is it true she slit her wrists in the jail cell"? Violet asked like a curious child.
"Yes, it seems like Ms Myers got all the facts right". I groaned.
"We said we needed to go to the bathroom but we don't and now we're just talking to you". Violet said.
"How did you both get out at the same time"?
"We asked and she said yes".
"She just-wow".
"No, Noni and I pretended we were breaking down into tears together".
"Good job".
"My god-and she's with all the psychos in the involuntary ward".
"I don't think that ward is any different to a normal ward".
"No! Ms Myers said her boyfriend is a gynecologist-
"Ew".
"And said that he sometimes goes to this involuntary ward in this hospital in the countryside and does check ups for the female patients".
"And"?
"Apparently they have very ugly vaginas".
"Oh my god, Violet. I'm tempted to slam the phone down right now".
"But why aren't you at school"?
"She just got attacked by a crazy bipolar lady yet you expect to come to school and act like everything is normal "? Winona snapped.
"Please...please don't call her crazy ".
The line was silent for a moment. I could hear the wind blowing against my curtains and the sound of water boiling on the stove downstairs.
"Kayden will probably call you soon, please watch out for him. He's been worried sick...we'll talk to you later ".
"Love you lots!" Violet weakly chimed in.
"Me too!" Winona gestured an emphasized kissing sound...and the line went dead. My friends couldn't understand how I could still like her and respect Celeste. "Because I love her", I whispered into the phone. Yet, there was no there to listen.

I now walk down the mahogany staircase , my gown wrapped around my body and my hair a bird nest.
"Kori?" Mom calls.
I don't answer her until my foot reaches the floor. I'm forced to walk each step like I, walking down a steep slope. My mother is staring at the floor whilst I take small steps, thinking about something else whilst I struggle. She's standing at the staircase, dressed in jeans and a peach blouse.
"I made you coffee". She says. I immediately notice coffee in my mother's hand occupied in my favorite mug that Violet bought me from New York: a drawing of a Kristen Wiig character from Saturday Night Live. I stare at the mug, then the pale and ghoulish expression on my mother's face.
"Who died"? I ask.
"Nobody-what are you talking about?!"
"You look like you've seen death".
"No, I'm fine-I just need to tell you something ".
She hands me my coffee mug and leads me to the kitchen. I sit down on one of the bar stools and begin slurping my coffee down my throat.
"Don't slurp". Mom snaps as she jumps on the bar stool next to mine. I obediently obey and stop slurping.
"Don't you have a patient now"? I ask, my voice whiny like a seesaw creaking .
"Ten minutes to be exact ".
"Okay, who are you dealing with in ten minutes "?
"Sabrina".
"Isn't she the one who tried to jump of the Tobin"?
"Yes, she just got out of hospital".
"Woah, that's a long time to be in hospital".
"She got out in January...and then slit her wrists".
"Is it the new trend to slit your wrists or something"?
"Keoria, that's morbid".
"I'm just saying...I can see that it's not going well".
"She started hearing voices soon after she got out and that's why she slit her wrists-to get the voices to stop", Mom explains, "The worst thing that can happen to someone suffering from depression is for their behavior to turn psychotic".
"I can see".
Mom suddenly sighs heavily. Her eyes are sharp and intimidating and her lips curl like she's trying to decide whether she should tell me a certain secret. "Your father decided to be an asshole and went to Celeste's trial".
I cringe and see my Mom looking at me with a confused glow on her face, probably surprised by my reaction. "How come you're allowed to call him an asshole and I'm not"?
Mom manages to release a rough groan and sigh and the sigh time. In other words, she basically releases all her emotions into the atmosphere by exhaling very loudly.
"Keoria", she continues to groan, "if you're not going to take this seriously then I'm not going to tell you anything that is happening with Celeste and you will be kept in the dark".
I sigh. "Fi-ne". I emphasize .
"She pleaded insanity, the court declared that she would be allowed to leave psychiatric care when they decide she is no longer a danger to herself...or anyone else". Mom looks me directly in the eye for a moment, indicating that I'm 'anyone else'. "They handcuffed her to the table, Keoria. She was completely dazed from how your father described it. She wasn't manic, but catatonic ".
"Why are you telling me all of this"?
Mom scoffs. "I don't know...but that's not what I called you over to for".
"Mom, I'm not playing with the toaster again".
"Keoria Emma-
"Okay fine! I won't comment!"
"Good!" Mom looks at me directly in my eye, our contact strong like steel. "Celeste's husband , Nate was there and Dad talked to him and asked a little about Celeste. He told her things that I expect you already know about...like the death of her older brother and sociopathic sister".
"Yes, Jasmine and David".
Mom sighs again, making me afraid that what she might tell me will shake me. Or perhaps she is exhausted. She looks it, her eyes are about to hit the floor and her hair is tied into a ponytail as neat as my bedhead.
"Jasmine was released from prison on parole in August, Kori. According to Nate, Celeste started having panic attacks after she heard the news. The anxiety and stress led to her bipolar to take over and resist medication".
I scoffed and released a laugh, a laugh as depressing as a British rainy day. "All this time", I whisper to myself, "she knew the whole time what was causing her mood swings to come back yet she did nothing".
"There are many things that have happened with her in the last few months. She carried on seeing her psychiatrist. Her psychiatrist suggested hospitalization back in October in the early stage of her relapse. She refused and accepted that. Then in November she apparently threw a canvas against the wall...in front of you".
"Yes Mom, I am aware and remember it very clearly".
"Her psychiatrist highly recommend checking herself into psychiatric care at this stage and she refused once again. She told her she was very ill and that she was a danger to herself. She ignored her and a month went by and she carried on getting worse. Nate tried to find ways that he could commit her against her will but there were no institutions willing to take her involuntary due to their respect towards the mentally ill. They all told him that she would figure it out eventually. If she didn't, she would find some way or another type of treatment.
"Eventually...Nate finally dragged Celeste to a hospital in the area".
"Terryhill"?
"No, a temporary psych ward ".
"Whe-when was this"? I stutter in confusion.
"January". Mom murmurs. "He took her to a hospital , she had a meltdown at the hospital and the staff recognized it as a bipolar relapse . She was put on 72 hour lockdown and drugged until she couldn't keep her eyes open. After she was allowed to leave, Nate felt terrible about how she had been treated and decided to let things pass".
Puzzle pieces begin to touch and lock together in my head as I realize a hidden moment in my head. Celeste was off school for a few days in January...because she said she was nauseous. She must have been in the hospital and lied to me. I suddenly feel betrayed, heartsore and confused. This whole universe seems to be this impossible puzzle that everyone wants to solve but nobody can find the correct pieces.
Did she lie to me about the fake pregnancy , I think to myself, was that her insane cover up story?  
"That's enough".
I realize my head is hung and my view is my legs when I hear Mom talk again. I suddenly straighten my spine and lift my head up. "Enough of what"? I ask in an innocent tone.
"Sabrina will be here any moment now".
Mom begins to rise from the bar stool whilst I feel my thoughts all trying to come to join as one. I hear my own bar stool creek as I stand up and limp towards my rushed mother.
"What else were you going to tell me"? I desperately ask.
"Nothing else , Keoria. I told you too much as it is".
"You said you wanted tell me something. That's the reason you bought me here!"
Mom groans. "I just told you". She was already walking towards the front door, her high heels boots conducting a symphony as they clicked and clacked against the floor.
"I want you to tell me again!"
Mom swung her body around like she was on high energy conducted merry 'go round. Her expression was a recipe of confusion, concern and a dash of shock. "Are you afraid of being alone"? She asks, a teaspoon of sweetness added to her voice.
"Why would you think that"?
"You're stalling , Kori...and you're not acting like yourself. I know you -and I know when anxiety has taken over you".
I miserably shake my head and look at her with the sad puppy eyes that explain my entire mood. "No Mom, I'm fine. Go and help Sabrina not jump off bridges anymore". I turn away before Mom can say anything, but her symphony comes crashing towards me. I suddenly feel her turn my whole body around like a ceiling fan and her arms embracing my curvy body. She grips me tight and I feel so much energy and love flow through my veins that I begin to cry.