Different || Troyler AU

C H A P T E R : TWENTY-NINE

•• sick demon ••

(I'm writing this during class btw -.-)

TROYES POV ::::::::::::

I wake up with a start as I feel someone gently touch my shoulder.

I open my eyes slowly and see I'm in my room, and Tyler's sitting next to me on a chair next to the bed.

I remember everything that's happened.

Everything.

I sit up and Tyler keeps his eyes on me, I feel bad since I've probably put him through hell these last few months.

God why hasn't he got rid of me yet?

Thrown me in the bin with all the other trash.

"W-why are you still h-here?" I say by voice raspy from passing out, it was either by shock that I passed out or a panic attack.

"Because you're my boyfriend Troye, why wouldn't I?" Tyler says as he holds my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles.

"Because I'm too much work, other angels would have already given up on me already..." I say sadly as I sit up against my headboard.

"Bushit. I would go through hell and back for you, I just wish I could take away your sadness." He says sadly before we're interrupted by my door opening to see like ahead peaking out through the door.

"Troye your up! You have us a scare..." He says miserably before he gives me a small smile and shuts the door.

I actually did scare them didn't i?

I watch as Tyler walks out, probably to inform the others I'm up.

I get up and look at myself in the mirror on the walk the boys bought for me, I have bags under my eyes (like always), my cheeks are tinted red from tears and my lip is pink from constantly biting it. My hair is scruffy and curly, my cheeks are sunken in slightly and my eyes look lifeless. I have a small cut on my neck that goes over my tattoo, I look down at my hand to see it bandaged up. I look at myself so close that I can see flecks of dirt over my pale skin.

I look down as I remember what he did to me.

I'll try and forget again, but it'll be harder this time since I saw his face for the first time in years.

I sigh and run my shaky hands through my hair.

Was that counted as a suicide attempt?

I think so...

Four suicide attempts and counting.

None of them working.

To be honest, I don't know whether I was happy or relieved that I hadn't died all those times... I have Tyler and the boys and maybe David now so I'm not completely alone, I had people willing to fight for me.

I have parents.

I haven't met them yet, but I have them.

I have people who actually care for me.

Although, what if my parents don't actually care about me? What if they are only using me to get out of hell? What if once they're out they'll pretend like I don't exist?

What if...

I remember the first time I tried to kill myself.

I was in my room that was shared with at least 20 other angels, while they where out at lunch I had stolen two bottles of pills from the nurses office at my orphanage and snuck them into the bathroom. I had woken the find myself in the nurses office, she said that I had accidentally overdosed, she didn't know it was a suicide attempt, it was the night after Zayn raped me.

I was only fourteen.

Fourteen.

I guess it had only been a downward spiral from there.

I blink the tears away as I walk out the doors and into the living room to see the boys, Tyler, Zoe and David all sitting on the couch and a few plastic chairs, they where probably waiting for me.

They probably wanted me to explain my history with Zayn.

I would have to relive it all again.

But they deserved to know what happened, they did help me after all.

I cleared my throat and they all looked over at me and gave me tentative and sad smiles.

I sit done in a chair that's in front of them all.

"Ask away." I say with a sigh.

"Who was he?" Ashton asked.

"His name is Zane, he was the owner of the orphanage I was at, he inherited it after his father died that's why he's so young. His dad was a cruel man, he hit and beat up the kids at the orphanage every time they did something wrong or even sometimes just for fun, he liked to hit and beat me up the most. Cause I'm different I guess. When he died everyone was so happy, we expected Zane to be better, but he was worst, I guess watching his dad beat us up made him want too. So he did, a lot. He picked on me the most and would beat me unconscious most nights, but nobody not even the staff thought it was him causing all those bruises cause I was naturally a very clumsy child. He would lock me in my room and stop me from eating, he called me names on a day to day. One day in particular h-he found me in my room and dragged me into h-his room, h-he locked the d-door and I was expecting him to b-beat me u-up, but he d-did something m-much worst, h-he r-raped m-me. I-I was o-only f-fourteen." I say as I let out a sob but everyone stays quiet allowing me to continue. "T-that night I t-tried to k-kill myself for the f-first time, a c-couple nights later I s-stole some m-money and ran a-away, y-you know the rest."

Everyone remains silent processing the things I just told them.

"We n-need to go to the cops." Michael's voice cuts into the silence.

"W-we can't i c-could get in t-trouble for s-stealing the m-money." I say and Michael looks back down knowing that I'm right.

We couldn't risk it.

I woke under my eyes but the silent tears keep falling.

I see Tyler get up to come over to me but I get up before he can reach me.

"I'm g-gonna take a s-shower." I stutter as I run back into my room and grab some clean clothes before going back into the bathroom.

I hate that bathroom now, I tired to kill myself in that shower.

Or maybe I love it?

I strip and turn the shower on the coldest setting and slip under the freezing water, I block out the others voices as they undoubtedly talk about me. The flow of the water hiding the sound of my cries.

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Sad chapter I am aware.

Sad sad sad.

Anywhore.

Goal: 16 votes <3

You guys are truly amazing!

S.