Choices Between Us

Chapter 12.

The days and nights were long, Lena was struggling for her life, but finally after 72 hours of treatment she was doing better. I had just woke up and was pumping off some milk. I wanted to be able to breast feed her when she was big enough so I had to pump as if she was feeding so my milk would be ready for her.

"I still think that is the craziest thing I have ever seen." Harry said from across the room in my apartment. We had come to stay the night here last night once we knew Lena was out of the woods.

"Sarah didn't breast feed?" I asked snapping my bra back up and putting the milk into the little container to freeze it.

"No.....that would mean she would have had to been up through the night. The nanny did the late night feedings when I couldn't."

He set a two plates of food down on the table.

"These omelets look delish." I tell him before taking a fork full and stuffing it in my mouth. "Mmmmmh so good." I moan with contentment. "I love when you cook."

He smirks at me and eats as well. "I have to go home tonight? You think you will be okay?"

"Ya I will be fine." I tell him looking down at my plate trying to hide my disappointment, the last three days had been nice having him here when the baby was unwell. It made it feel like we were a really family. I knew deep down inside that we weren't. He belonged to someone else. The night before when I had talked to Niall on the phone he had reminded me and told me to be careful.

We finish up eating and get ready to leave for the hospital, we walk in hand in hand. I am going to miss this. I knew I had to let go. I just didn't have the heart to do it yet. I was going to make him chose between us, he couldn't keep this going on. He was either going to be with me or her. Not both of us.

"Good morning Raya and Harry." Alice said smiling at us. "Someone wants to see you."

"Is she awake?" I ask washing my hands, gowning up before walking across the room. I look down at my baby to see her eyes open, her little pink lips smacking and her arms and legs moving quickly. She was beautiful. "Oh my." I say placing my hand over my mouth. "You took her off the vent and the patches off."

"Surprise." Alice smiles at me. "She is hungry, are you ready to try to feed your baby. She is keeping the tube feeds down, she is almost five pounds. She is doing amazing."

"I can feed her?" I ask as the tears brim in my eyes. Alice nods her head and goes over to take her out. "Look Harry at how perfect she is."

"I see." he says smiling and sits down beside us. Alice places her in my arms, both Harry and I stare at her perfect little face. Now the tube was out of her mouth and the patches off her eyes we could truly see our baby.

"She has your eyes." I smile and look at him. "She is beautiful."

"That she is."

She starts to squirm, her face turns and then the most beautiful sound comes out of her little mouth, she starts to cry. For the first time we hear her voice, we hear our baby.

"Shhhh shhh baby momma is here." I tell my daughter. "She is crying." I exclaim and smile at Harry.

"That will get old really fast." He jokes.

"You try and feed her now." Alice said handing me a wash cloth. "Just was your breast and let her latch on."

I do as I am instructed and place her in the right position, she latches on perfectly and starts to feed. Her beautiful eyes looking up at me. Harry is leaning in to watch her.