Choices Between Us

Chapter2~

26 weeks

It has been six weeks since I  found out I was having a girl, six weeks since  I freaked out on said little girls dad.  Six weeks since I seen his face or heard his voice.  To say I missed him was an understatement.  I really really missed him.

He called every day but I chose not to talk to him, I would make Kyle talk to him.  I didn't want to talk to him.  I was so angry at him for how he seemed to be putting us on the back burner.  It was like Sarah and his son were more important.  I know he loved his boy but he couldn't be in love with her.  He had asked me to marry him before he got his epiphany about being a good dad and decided that he would marry someone that he didn't love.  This whole situation is making my head hurt.

I had been in bed all day, I wasn't feeling myself.   I was tired, had a terrible head ache and felt somewhat crampy, It was probably my muscle stretching as the baby was really starting to expand my abdomen.  I chose to get up out of bed and take a shower, my body needed the hot water to relax my muscles.  I walked into my bathroom and turned the shower on, I took off my pj top and stepped into the shower, the water felt amazing.

I washed my body and shut the water off, I wrapped myself in a towel and waddled back to my bed room.  I sat down on my bed and went to put cream on my legs, I lifted my leg up onto the bed and ran my hand down over my ankle, I stopped what I was doing when I noticed I no longer had an ankle.

"What the hell?'' I said to aloud to  myself.  I tried to get my brain to remember my maternity class from nursing school.  It was never my favourite class.  But I knew at 26 weeks I shouldn't have this much swelling in my feet.  I quickly put my clothes on and went out into the living room, it was early after noon still.  Kyle was still at work.

I called Doctor Connors office and told the receptionist what was going on and she told me to come over to the office right away.  I called Kyle and left him a few messages on his voice mail as I was walking down the street to hail a cab.  I debated on calling Harry but I decided against it.  He wouldn't care anyway.  I don't know why I ever fell for him.  Well come to think of it, how could you not fall for his charm, amazing good looks, great kisser and even better in bed.

I sighed as the cab pulled up in front of the doctor's office.  I paid the cab drive and got out of the car, my head felt awful, my vision was blurry.  The severe headache I had currently was probably to blame.  I took the elevator up to his office, I just closed my eyes and tried to envision myself anywhere else but standing here in this stupid four by four walls.  The doors opened and I rushed out of the confined space.

I open the door to the doctors office, I take notice to a few other woman in the room.  The receptionist nurse greets me.

"Miss Anderson, Hello." She says smiling at me softly.  "I would like you to come in to a room, I want to check you out before I have you wait in the waiting room to see the doctor."

I smiled at her and followed her back to one of the rooms.  

"How are you feeling?" She asked placing a blood pressure cuff around my arm and pressing the button to inflate the cuff.  She kept the machine turned from me so I couldn't see the numbers.

"I am tired." I start to say and take a deep breath.  "I have a really bad head ache,  I noticed when I was getting out of the taxi my vision was a little blurred but I think it is just from the headache." I looked at her as she was intently listening to me.  I lifted up my feet and pulled up my yoga pants to show her my non existent ankles.  "My feet are really swollen."

"I need you to pee in this little bottle." She said handing me a urine sample cup.  "The bathroom is on your right."

I stood and took the bottle from her hand.

"Please just come back in this room instead of going back out the waiting room.  I will be right back." 

I feel an uneasy feeling come over me, I feel like there is something wrong.  I went into the bathroom and got the sample the nurse wanted, I washed my hands and walked back to the room where she was waiting for me.  She took the bottle from me and put the dip stick in it.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask softly.

"The doctor will be right in." She said smiling softly at me.  I watched her walk out and shut the door behind her.  I could feel myself getting more anxious.  I placed my hand over my belly the was the barrier between myself and my little girl.

"Raya." Doctor Connors said as he came through the door.  He pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me.  "You have severe pre-eclampsia." 

I looked at him like he was crazy.  I couldn't have this, from what I remember this early in pregnancy wasn't good to develop this.  I felt my eyes start to water.

"I am going to admit you to the hospital so we can control your blood pressure and keep a close eye on you.  Once the baby is big enough we will induce you.  We are going to start you on some steroids to help your babies lungs mature for early delivery.   I want for you to keep in mind that if we can't control your blood pressure we will have to take the baby."

"What?  You can't take her." I say threw tears.  "She is too small.  She will never survive."

"I am so sorry Raya.  I hope we can get things under control and we can get your BP under control so she will grow and get stronger.  It is a good thing she is a girl.  They do better when born early. " He said placing his hand on my knee.  "That is the last thing we will do.  I will do everything I can to make sure you keep this baby.  You need to relax and concentrate on not getting overly upset.  It isn't good for your blood pressure."

I sigh and look down at my hands.  Not believing this was happening.

"I am going to admit you to the woman's hospital where there is a special unit that deals with your condition." he said looking at me.  "We will take the best care of you." he said as he stood.  "You should call the baby's father." he said standing.  "I am going to make the arrangements to have you admitted."

I take a deep breath and try not to break down.  I pull my phone out and dial Harry's number.  It would be just after eight pm in London.  It rings a few times before he answers.

"Raya......Hi." His voice rings in my ears.

I take a deep breath and try to talk without my voice breaking. "Harry...." I say and start to cry.

"Raya......what is wrong?  Are you okay?" he asks with worry laced in his voice.

"No." I say and take a deep breath.  "I am being admitted to the hospital.....they might have to take her Harry.......she is too little.........she will never live." I sob and rush out of my mouth.

"Slow down Ray." Harry says.  "What is wrong?  What is going on?"

"I have developed a severe condition, that is dangerous for me and the baby.  I need to be admitted to the hospital for them to watch me closely and to monitor my blood pressure.  They also want to give me drugs to make the babies lungs stronger as she will be delivered early either way.  I am so scared Harry.  I don't want to loose our baby."

Harry sighs.  "I know your scared Ray.....but everything will be okay.  They will take good care of you." 

"Can you come here?" I ask in small voice.

"I am going to be on the next flight out." he said.  "I just need to make arrangements.   I will be there soon sweetheart."

"Good........I need you." I tell him before I end the call.  I wipe the tears off of my face and call Kyle and tell him what is going on.  He was going to meet me at the hospital.  I ran my hand over my bump.  I loved this unborn child so much already.  She was my chance to make a difference with my life, I wanted to raise her up to be a beautiful person.  She was my unbreakable bond with her father.  He would always be a part of our lives.

I would feel so much better once he got here, I needed him so much.  Harry was always my rock, he always made me feel better.  I needed him more than ever now, we needed him.