Bang Me (The Big Bang Theory Fan-Fiction)

My New Idea

When I woke up Raj was gone. Penny was sitting next to me drinking and watching football. "What time is it?" I mumbled. 

"Almost ten. You dozed off while Raj was here. He left ages ago." 

"Where is he now?" I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I rarely fell asleep his much, let a lone on cute men. 

"I think he went next door to see the guys. You could knock, he might still be there." 

"Good idea. Come with me?" She swallowed down the rest of her drink and turned off the TV. 

I straightened up my hair and made sure my outfit still looked cute before Penny and I left. Just as Penny was about to knock on the door we heard voices in deep conversation from the other side of the door. I could hear Raj talking, and he didn't sound drunk at all. Plus, he was talking abut me. I put my ear up to the door to hear better. "Guys, I know I said she's hot already, but I don't know what to do about her. She wants me to start talking to her more." 

I heard Howard's voice reply. "Why didn't you just get drunk?" 

"I already tried that. She doesn't like me when I'm drunk. She said even texting or writing notes is better." 

"What's the problem then? Just do that." Howard replied again. 

"Because I do want to talk to her. I really do. I hate this mute thing. I'd much rather not be able to men! What am I supposed to do it I can't talk to her? Later How will I tell her when I love her? How will I propose? At our wedding how will I say my vows? On the honeymoon how will I be able to tell her what I want done to me? I just wish there was something I could do." Raj sounded sad. 

"You know, we've been working on some stuff in the lab, building robots and stuff. What if we made you a Maddie to practice talking to?" 

"Are you kidding me? I can't even talk to the Sims character I made of her!" 

"Wait now, hold on." Leonard was in the conversation now. "Science can do some pretty amazing things. There' s got to be something we can build to help you talk to her." 

"I've already tied everything though. The only solution if to drink. There's nothing more I can do about it. I'm either Raj the intoxicated or Raj the mute." 

I felt so bad for him. I wished there was something I could do. I went to lean in more and my arm slipped and my elbow hit the door enough to made a sound. "What was that?" I heard Sheldon yell. He sounded frightened. 

"It;s just the door. I'll get it." Penny and I tired to dart into out own room, but Leonard got to the door first. "Sheldon, it's just the girls. What are you two doing out so late?" 

I tried to make something up on the spot. "Oh, uh, Raj just forgot his good night kiss. I'm here to give it to him." 

Leonard looked surprised. "Raj! Maddie's here! She wants to kiss you!" The rest of the guys made a 'ooooooooooh' noise. Raj looked embarrassed, but came over anyway. 

"Good night Raj." He said nothing back. I tuned around and walked back into my own apartment. 

That night I dreamed that Raj was a woman. This gave me an idea.