The "Real" Zombie Guide

Sports Goods Are Good

The world seemed to get colder the more north they got, and somehow slightly less zombies. Daddy Disco considered it the cold for keeping the zombie away. "I'm betting you they haven't reached Alaska yet!" He said when he killed a zombie.
They saw on the open road In middle of anowhere, a strip mall, but with her theater goggles Miss Fig could see that there were zombies there. "A drive by would work the best on this group." Advised Fig. Daddy Disco agreed, for he thought it would be fun. He took out a rather large crate from under the couch in the back of the limo, and crowbarred it open. Revealing a large amount of guns. Daddy Disco handed Joe a ordinary pistol, he gazed in jealousy at the larger guns in the crate. "those are for another day Joe." Daddy Disco said as he noticed Joes glare. Miss Fig took the wheel and started to drive at a slow speed. Daddy Disco and Joe took position next to the Windows. Armed. "NOW!" Daddy Disco said as he and Joe started to shoot down the zombies one by one. One of the zombies mumbles something that sounded like "EH NU DRIV BEY". Once the zombies were cleared, Miss Fig parked outside the strip mall. As they exited the vehicle, Miss Fig saw a book store and dragged Joe with her. Daddy Disco Wandered alone until he saw a sports store, he entered, it was nothing special. But as he came to leave. He saw a recognized a familiar face, Bill Trackson! A  world famous golfer! Daddy Disco nearly bust into tears of joy as he saw him. For he was a fan. But then he noticed Bill was pale and bloody. Taking a step back he thought how funny it would be if he tried to get him to sign a autograph for him. "Hey there Bill Trackson! I'm a great fan! Could I have a autograph?" Bill returned with a low moan. Daddy Disco gave Bill a pencil. And brought a sports journal for him to sign, for he didn't have anything else. The journal returned to Daddy Disco's hands with a fancy signature, "Wow thanks zombie Bill Trackson!" "No problem friend!" Said a voice that Daddy Disco knew belonged to one person and one person only, Bill Trackson! He looked at bill in the face with a look of joy, "You're not a brain hungry zombie?" "Nah, all I'm hungry is for some sports super wash, now available at your local sport stores for 9.99$ today!"Bill said in a commercial fitting voice. "What?"Daddy Disco said because all he heard was wash, at and some other words that made no sense. "Oh that was a ad, they pop up all the time."Bill explained "But why do you look like a zombie?!"Daddy Disco asked. "Oh this? My makeup artist worked on it as a ad for the zombie shoveler! Only now for 39.99$!" Bill said as they heard the sound of the door opening, then a BAM throwing Bill on the floor, the people at the door turned out to be Joe and Miss Fig, "heya Disco!" She said in her merry way. Daddy Disco was at a loss for words.
"Why?" He managed to say. "Well come on man! We came to get you because we're being chased by a zombie shopping horde!"
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A special thanks to...
RidiculouslyDEep
For providing the idea for this chapter!
If you could do me a solid and give me a chapter idea I'll give you a shoutout on the chapter!