The "Real" Zombie Guide

Zombie Cosplayer?!

Joe jumped back in surprise, a zombie?! Here of all places?! Why couldn't it be next door, or just plain dead!?
He cursed is stupidity for not finding a weapon on the way, he could have taken that spatula or that wooden spoon! A sudden wave of helplessness took over him, he was like those helpless teenagers in slasher flicks, a idiot!
He quickly took cover, behind those strange grills that the chefs used to be total show offs with. He didn't notice that he turned it on. He was too busy looking at the other zombie. A teen in what seemed to be a cosplay of some yellow ninja? Weird...
The zombie came shuffling towards Joe, Joe quickly took a couple steps back. Grabbing a fork along the way, the zombie seemed to know its way around here. Joe quickly shoved the zombie ninja backwards. Making it trip on a chair, sitting face on the grill, it suddenly gave out a terrible shriek, and didn't move again. Joe poked it many times with his fork to make sure it wasn't dead."stupid zombie." He said angrily, he turned off the grill and hurried out.
He prayed Miss Fig and Daddy Disco were still in place unlike himself. He whistled a loud whistle, the kind that would bring a taxi from the other side of town. Luckily they both guessed it was him, he quickly told them what happened."A yellow ninja you say?"asked Daddy Disco, clearly very interested in the point of being a yellow ninja,"But what's the point if yellow doesn't blend in with anything?" Joe cut him off before hey could get any further,
"Ain't that one of those weirdos that them theme parks?!" Ask Miss Fig, Still confused over the logic of a yellow ninja..."May I suggest we "take a look" at this theme park?" Said Joe, trying not to bring that topic up himself, but the others were the same."Well, As much as we should be heading up north, it would be pretty tempting to be in a theme park alone..." Joe began chanting like a child"Theme Park! Theme Park!" As they all merrily skipped across the restaurant cluster to a theme park, filled to the max with cosplaying zombies.... "Maybe it's a new zombie virus that makes people and put them in a costume?" Asked Joe, who would much much more prefer being a zombie in a costume rather then a normal plain boring zombie.
"I'm not waiting to find out!" Cried Daddy Disco in a sorts of battle cry. Reveling a rather large shotgun that was under his fancy white jacket the whole time as he began shooting every zombie that even dared to blink, do zombies even blink? I have no idea,
but if they didn't blink, In a matter of days all zombies would have really really dried eyes, that's a creepy story for another time...
"Wait a second! I got a idea!" Joe said, hoping for Daddy Disco to stop his GTA styled rampage upon the zombie cosplayers before it would attract unnecessary attention. "Fine, I'll give you a couple of seconds Joe." Said Daddy Disco, obeying one of the many rules of the apocalypse: treat your group nicely or they'll run off and you'll probably meet a tragic end while they survive until the end. "Maybe we could lead them all into some trap?" Joe said, not knowing how much is a couple of seconds known as. "I got just the thing..." Said Miss Fig in a mischievous manner, with her hand in her purse.