Occiditur

Monday, Monday

Every day in the hospital was Hell. Sam forced me to talk to a shrink. I appreciated that she was trying to help. But I didn't need a shrink! If he had actually told me something that made me feel good, I would have benefited from it. But he just told me things I knew and fussed at me for being depressed. 

Soon the day came and I was released from the hospital. It was a dark and gloomy Monday afternoon. It had rained for a week straight. The sky was a blanket of grey and everywhere there was water! Oh Mondays are the worst. They are the official end of the weekend, yes. But there is something more to them than that. You can't help but feel depressed on a Monday. 

Sam walked in front of me, into the house. She had left Ami with Davy and his wife. She wanted me to come home and have a special night, just with her. I wanted to please her, but I didn't feel like being happy tonight. 

"I made some spaghetti and I moved the record player into the dinning room." Sam said as she rushed around the kitchen. I sat down on our couch with a frown. I didn't have the energy to smile. 

Sam walked into the living room. "Come on, honey. You wanted to spend time with me. Lets spend time together." She said cheerfully and extended her hand to me. She had put on a record and was in the dancing mood. 

I motioned for her to sit beside me. 

She didn't. So I spoke. "Sam. I know you really worked hard for me, but please, I don't think I can do this. Why don't we just have dinner and go to bed."

"Micky, I thought you wanted to have a special evening with me." Sam protested. 

"It will be special." I sighed.

"How? Eating and sleeping is all we ever do anyways!" She yelled at me. 

"Whoa, why are you yelling?" I asked.

Sam sighed. "I just want us to be fine again." 

"We can!" I said, "Just not tonight." 

"I should have known." Samantha hung her head. "You don't want to change. You just want to be sad so that everyone is pitting  you!" Sam said and stormed away. She slammed the bedroom door and locked herself inside. 

Wow, it seemed that lately Sam had been absolutely off her chain. She was ticked off at the littlest things. I couldn't deal with this much longer. She said I had't changed. Was it really I who needed to change? I didn't think so. She needed to learn how to control her emotions. 

I guess you could say the same thing about me though. 

I didn't want to dwell on the situation. I wanted to escape and forget. I hesitated before picking up the phone and dialing a number.

"Hello?" Peter asked.

"It's me, Micky." 

"Oh hey, Mick!" Peter said.

"Hey, I need you to do me a favor." 

"What do you need?" Pete asked.

"Something...something to help me forget." I said as if it was code for something else. In a way it was because ten minutes later Peter rang my doorbell and there he stood with a bag, which I knew was heroine supplies.