Occiditur

The Road get's Worse.

The demon was wrong!

I didn't deserve this pain!

I was awoken from my sleep by terrible pain in my head. It pulsed and throbbed! A headache that caused me to fall off the couch and curl up on my side. Once awake I became aware of a sharp pain in my left side. It felt as if someone were driving a knife into me.

In panic I lifted up my shirt and saw that I was fine. The pain must be internal. Maybe a muscle cramp from laying on the couch. Whatever it was I tried to stand up and I fell right back down to the floor. I grabbed onto the couch and used it to prop myself up. I moved slowly into the bathroom. I made it to the medicine cabinet and took out the Acetaminophen. I swallowed them with water from the sink. I would have chosen beer but I was already hung over.

As I stood over the sink in the bathroom I noticed the state I was in. I looked absolutely terrible. My skin was clammy and yellow, and so where my eyes. I lifted my shirt again and noticed that my skin was especially yellow around the point of pain. The area was also swollen. I was confused. What was this? Another dream?

I had abandoned the idea that the pain was a muscle cramp.

It must be an after effect of heroin. Or maybe the heroin and the alcohol combined.

I wasn't sure. And I couldn't wrap my head around any of it. I was disoriented and confused. Several times I forgot where I even was.

Sitting there on the bathroom floor I felt like if the pain just subsided I could fall asleep, but the pain was too much. To much to think through. Just...just too much!

The nausea hit me out of nowhere. The pain had reached its fever pitch and was almost unbearable. I was screaming to let pain escape. And then suddenly I was kneeling there with my head over the toilet. I threw up until even the bile that lined my stomach had come up. I felt nauseous like I stilled needed to get more out, but I couldn't. I still had not eaten much. I had forced myself to eat the occasional meal. Just so I would stay alive. I still wasn't hungry at all though. As you can imagine I was even more skinnier than I had been. You could see each individual bone in my chest and back. It wasn't a pleasant sight.

Emaciated, pain ridden, and nauseous...

What a combination.