Roads that never end - Boyxboy

Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Back to Black

Angus; P.o.V

‘we only said goodbye with words,

I died a hundred times

You go back to her

And I go back to black’

Blaring through the music room window, I hear the tribute from my seat. Looking up I see Jamie walking over to me, obviously coming over to make fun of me.

“whats the matter gus?”

I look up and he sees the tears welling in my eyes, he sits next to me and just looks at me.

“What are you looking at Jamie?”

“Nothing, im sorry Gus, I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you ok ? Anything I can help with?”

I sniffle, “I don’t know why but this song makes me feel better, always has.”

I look at him “Jamie, I think you were right, I just don’t know what this means. I don’t know what these feelings even are.”

Jamie leans in and holds me close “its ok Gus, you know im here for you.”

I hug him back, wondering what this means for me now?

“Come on Gus I think we better get back to class before we get in trouble.” He lets go of me, offering a helping hand up.

*   *   *   *

Back in class I look round and find Justus sitting in the corner of the room. Headphones in, he doesn’t notice me approach. He looks different, not sad but yet not happy either.

I kneel down and he lifts his head and removes on earphone, he just smiles at me and puts his hand to my face. His hand is warm against my skin, warming me as he slowly caresses my face.

I begin to tear up, hoping he doesn’t notice something’s wrong. He does, ofcorse he does, Justus knows me better then I know myself.

“Hey why do you look so sad?”

I just look away from him, not wanting to show my pain.

“Come on Gus, I know there’s something wrong, something that’s been bugging you for a while.”

I don’t know what to say, so I lie “it’s about my parents, I just don’t know how to deal with this at the moment.”

In part it wasn’t a lie, I don’t know what to do at the moment and my parent’s death brought this all out, not saying that I don’t miss them. I am just smart enough to know that they would want me happy not moping round being depressed.

“Hey I got a good idea! Larissa wants to spend some time alone with Jetta, doing girly things no doubt. How’s about we go stay at yours the night, might help you with you issue, and I have something I need to tell you that’s important.” He hits my interest right on the head, and he knows I love my house so much.

“Sure Justus, I have something I need to talk to you about as well.”

“Oh, yay we can have a D’n’M together. But on a more serious note, Gus you remember that I’m always here for you and will always be your best friend no matter what.”

Buzz!

End of class,I grab a scrunched up bit of scuzzy paper.

“what the hell is that?”

“it’s my time table Justus, don’t dis it.” I scribble something onto the burnt pages.

*   *   *   *

The bell goes, end of school. ‘I can’t wait to get home and relax. Where is Justus?’

I look round, searching for him. I look up, shining in my eyes is the bright light of the sun, coming from this heaven light appears the guy I’ve been waiting so impatiently for.

“I’m sorry; I just had to tell the girls we aren’t coming home tonight. Ok so you ready to go Gus-Gus?”

“Yes, I can’t wait to get home Justus.”

We hop into his car, butterflies buzzing in my tummy the whole car ride home.

We drive up the drive way and I jump out of the car and run straight to the door, unlocking it and entering my house in such a rush I forget about the alarm system.

So here I am, standing dazed in the home that now partly belongs to me. The alarm blares as I hit the familiar-ness only home gives you. I fall to the ground, tears running down my face; I feel a hand touch my back before I am knocked to the ground. Justus is on top of me, holding me and nuzzling his face into my chest.

I just hold onto him, wishing he knew what I was thinking. I slowly lower my face into his perfect golden hair. He looks up, staring right into my eyes. He cocks his head creating that signature Justus smile. He begins to laugh and I just shove him off.

I go into the kitchen and make us a cup of coffee, he tells me he’s going upstairs and I should come meet him in my room when the coffee’s done.

The kettle boils and I pour the coffee, putting that stupid little drug into mine, ‘why do I have to take this, why is it so important for me to take this poison, death in a pill?’

I wipe that tear from my eye, grabbing the coffee I head upstairs to tell him the one thing that will push him as far away from me as he could possibly be, but I must, I can’t live with myself holding these feelings inside. ‘Damn stupid pill, hope it doesn’t kick in till after my talk. I want to be me when I tell him the truth’

Truth should be the easiest thing; I have never lied to Justus, minus in music today, what’s happening to me? Maybe this little truth will make a world of difference, maybe it won’t. Either way I’m doing what my heart says.