and a horse called Straton

Chapter 15

Lynn cried for hours beside her friend, ignoring the pleas of Nanna and the others to eat or drink. She could have gotten there sooner. She should have. She sobbed beside him as Junnali tried to comfort her.  She ignored the young girl, not out of rudeness but she just couldn't.

He was dead.
He was dead.
Nulluh was dead.

The mantra never seemed to stop as it screamed through her brain like a skinning knife just like the pain in she shoulder. Eventually she ran out of tears and fell asleep, much to the relief of the worried women who quickly moved her to a more comfortable spot rather than over a tear marked, lifeless body.

Nanna's normally tight bun had frayed parts that had fallen out. This was the first thing to catch Lynn's attention as she woke again. She was silent for a few moments, appreciating the Billy goats weed on her shoulder even though it was uncomfortable.

"He's gone, isn't he?"  She stated in guttural Aboriginal. Nanna only nodded, for once seeming to be at a loss.  Three people had died, many were injured.  The fire had sprung up without anyone realising it until it had closed part of the mob off from the others.

Lynn sat up again. "Where's Birrinja?"  She asked, already knowing the answer. Birrinja had been the one who convinced the mob to let her stay on Nanna's behalf. He had seen in her what few others had at the time. A Burnu. Just like Nulluh said.

She didn't even get to say goodbye.

Lynn felt hot tears roll down her face again and she coughed as she realised how try her throat and mouth were. Nanna offered her the cup Lynn had made filled with water. "How did you..."  Lynn asked in Aboriginal.  "Nulluh,"  Nanna answered, "asked me get items from place."  She said in full, though rough, English which she only went to in parts when she was severely distressed.

Lynn felt new tears trail down her face as she held the poorly made mug. She noticed that she had the grass mat beneath her, it was quite soft considering she had made it.

Lynn downed the contents of the cup, glad for the cool water that took the edge off the pain. She tasted lemon grass and paper bark with a small amount of chamomile.  Nanna had taught Lynn bush medicine as well as everything else she had learnt.

Lynn collapsed against the mat again. This time Straton was allowed over. The large horse cantered towards her, his dark made behind him as he did so. When he got close enough, he dropped his head and blew on her. Lynn blew back, a greeting horses had used for, well, I guess forever.

Straton stood beside her, he wasn't going to leave. Everyone knew that.  The horse glared at everyone who went near him and Lynn gently slapped him with her bent arm, "Be nice."  She was still getting used to her croaky voice, the Aboriginal words sounding strange with it.

Straton nodded his down to her when she spoke, making sure she was okay. He knew that Nulluh and Burrinja were not there. He also knew that Lynn had been close to them.  He felt guilty for being afraid the night before and it was evident. He didn't hold himself up or play roughly. He just stood protecting her.

**********

After a few days, Lynn was able to stand by herself. But she felt empty, Burrinja was gone. Luke was gone. Her mum was gone. Nulluh was gone. How many more people would have to die?  At least she still had Nanna. She walked stiffly, the back of her legs still tender. She felt the everlasting pull of the scar from the dingo as she walked.

Lynn knelt in the banks of the creek, drinking and washing her long sun-bleached hair.  She washed the grim and blood off of herself, she had got the majority of it off from the cup but there's only so much you can do with worried people all around her.

She felt slight anger, even though she knew she shouldn't, towards the sympathetic people. She didn't need their pity, it wouldn't help it. It made her feel weak.  It made her embarrassed.

She pulled her self up on to Straton, using her bent arm, determined to ride again.  She rode back to camp, proud of herself for not falling or injuring her still healing shoulder. She had ridden before she could walk before so she tried to before she had recovered properly.

Over the next few days, her physical pain eased but nothing helped the pain inside. She would leave for hours at a time, just spending time with Straton, only telling Nanna when she left. She began to push everyone away, everyone she loved seemed to die so why should she endanger anyone else?

This destructive behaviour continued in a cycle until they began to go back to their houses to find what was left. Lynn just rode back, making sure that the elder behind her was safe as they walked along. He was silent, respecting her grieving time. She was grateful, even though she didn't say it.