This Is A Song For The Forgotten.

To Take Away The Pain Of Darker Days

I awoke on the Monday I was a supposed to go to work. I groaned and trudged out and towards my closet. I slowly pulled out a pair of red ripped jeans and The Relapse Symphony tshirt. I walked into the bathroom and got into the shower I got dressed and went to do my makeup.

I did my makeup with black and red eyeliner. I adjusted my hair in the rocker formation and sprayed it with hairspray.

I grabbed my hobo bag and threw my wallet and keys and phone and my song book in my bag and hopped down the stairs. I closed the door and began my way to work. I looked back at the house on the hill and smiled. I got to work and sat at the desk waiting for the door to ring open.

We only got like 5 customers a day and only like 3 buy something big. I can't complain though I encouraged to wear band tees and rock and roll looking clothes.

I was listening to The Relapse Symphony with one ear bud in and writing in my song book. They always gave me inspiration. The bell rang like two hours later and it was about time for my lunch break. I got off my stool and went to go see if the person needed help.

I made my way through the aisles to see a man in very skinny jeans and wearing Aviators with long black hair. I bit my lip.

"Can I help you with anything Bret? " He turned around and jumped a bit because my voice came unnoticed.

" Oh hey Alli I just came to see you. "

" You did? " I asked surprised and he nodded.

" Are you getting a lunch break? "

" Yep in....... 5 minutes for 1hour."

"Can I take you out to like I don't know a restaurant? "

" Oh yeah sure just let me go get my bag. " I trailed off to get my bag and he followed me.

I closed my book and shoved it in my bag and I shrugged my jacket on to cover my ugly as hell scars. I smiled at Bret and he grabbed my hand and led me out to his car.

We got in and once again I enjoyed the sound if his car. I was burning up but there was no way in hell I was taking this jacket off. We arrived at Gondolier a bad they sat us in a booth right away. I ordered Hamburger and Bret got one too.

" So how's the music and the guys doing? "I asked.

" Good but I wanna talk to you about something. " I was surprised no one had anything to tell me ever.

" I really like you and was wondering if you want to be my girlfriend? " He bit his lip and played with his lip rings and I realized I was doing it too. They were right we both do that. He grabbed my hand from across the table and rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand.

" How can you like me? I'm so ugly and awkward. You deserve so much better Bret. " I looked down at the table.

He lifted my chin so my eyes would meet his.

" I've never seen a more beautiful girl in the world. " I bit my lip and looked at him. His eyes told me he wasn't lying but actually hurt I thought that of myself.

" Yes I will be your girlfriend but I'm sorry if you regret so. I come with a lot of luggage me meaning I'm one fucked up girl with a horrible life. "

" I won't regret anything I love you and I want you to be mine and I'll help you carry the luggage. " I smiled and he leaned over the table and kissed me and it was nice his cold lip ring against my lips kissing passionately then pulling away so the waitress could set the food down.

I smiled and ate the burger and for once I finished food.

I got my phone out and texted JC.

Me:Hey did you know about Bret asking me out?

JC: yeah he's been talking about it since you helped him up in the arcade.

I remembered his hazel eyes looking in mine god I swear I'm weird. Once we were done I tried to put money down but he won't let me. I'll sneak it in your wallet Bret! I thought. He held my hand tightly brushing his thumb over my hand. He kissed my hand and we got in the car.

Today surprisingly wasn't so bad though. I got the guy of my dreams. I walked into the music shop with Bret and my boss said I could leave. I walked back out with Bret and he took me to his house.

The boys were piled onto the couch and laughing their asses off at Tosh. O. We joined them for a while and I felt tired and fell asleep against Bret's chest. He brought me up to his bed and he took his shirt off and got some sleeping pants and slipped in next to me engulfing me in his strong arms.

I was having another nightmare.

" Why won't you die you piece of shit! You're worthless.! "He screamed at me kicking me in the ribs.

I was awoken by Bret kissing my forehead and shaking me awake.

" Baby are you OK? "

" Yeah just a bad dream of my dad. "

" I'm here I'll protect you I promise. "He kissed my head and nuzzled me. Tears were running down my pale cheeks. He wiped each away with his thumb whispering to me it's okay I'm here. I noticed I was shaking a little because Bret held me closer.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep again. I kept thinking of all of my mistakes in life and finally got tired and fell asleep soon.

I awoke in the best way possible. I was laying next to Bret and he had his arms around me pulling me to his chest. I slid my phone from my bag that was next to me and checked the time. Holy Shit! I'm gonna be late. I tried to remove Bret's arms and not wake him. Mission failed.

" Baby don't leave me. "

" I have to go to work I'll be back in a few hours I promise OK? "

" Fine. " I got out of his grip and pulled my hobo bag over my shoulder and ran to my house. I ran up the stairs and quickly took a shower and got into a Stitched up heart tshirt and got into some skinny jeans and combat boots sadly my hair wouldn't dry.

I got my bag and ran out of my house down the street to the music shop. I ran in and clocked in 10 minutes late. At least it's not much that comes off my pay. I pulled out my journal and started drawing a bit. I drew a heart with a skull in the middle of it with a rose with thorns wrapped around it and I drew Allison and Bret on it.

A bunch of customers came in today because I forgot we are having a big sale. Some people were talking behind my back thinking I couldn't hear them. Some were actually nice and some were just too stupid. It really stressed me out. I didn't get off til about 4:30. I was pretty sure I looked like crap right now. I walked up the street passed my house and to Bret's.

I walked up to the door and waited for Bret to answer. A girl answered the door. She looked kind of slut yet nice.

" Is Bret here? "

" Um he's getting dressed. " I felt something die in me.

" Okay tell him I was here. "A tear slipped and I ran off the porch and jumped off landing on my feet and running towards my house.

I slammed my bedroom door shut and collapsed in my room. I pulled my knees to my chest and I caught my eye on a blood stain on the carpet. That was when I tried to kill myself but my old friend Carrie who moved found me.

I sighed and I couldn't cry anymore because I was screaming on the inside that if I let it out the whole neighborhood would hear it and call the police.

I just sat there. Why am i surprised? No one wants me never have never will. I'm worthless. My dad was right. I inched myself to my laptop and checked my twitter. Bret mentioned me in a photo message.

@BretVonDehl : She is my everything I love her and she is awesome and perfect. @Allisonbvb.

" Bullshit! " I screamed at the screen and threw it on the floor. I got under the covers just staring at the ceiling. I am shutting down again.

I pause and close my eyes tight and open them again but with no feelings anymore.

I'm done.

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