Blinded by Your Beauty (Yoonmin)

4. Black

     Yoongi couldn't sleep. He had nightmares of the accident before, they were one of the reasons he had to go to therapy, but never had they been like that. Usually it's just him in the car with his friend and his mom, his current friends had never been in the accident with him. Never had they died. But Jimin was the most confusing part. He literally met him yesterday, but already there was something about him. Yoongi wanted to gag from how cliché it sounded, but he had never felt so close to someone in such a short time before. Never had he been able to talk about the accident so easily. Never had he asked to see someone so quickly before. And this all terrified him.

Yoongi sat on his bed after Namjoon had left lost in thought. He didn't know what these thoughts were or how to handle them. He sighed and fell back onto the bed, shielding his eyes with his arm out of habit. He scoffed at his stupid gesture before he moved his arm, muttering insults and harsh words to himself.

Yoongi was in one of his moods, as Namjoon called it. Yoongi would get extremely sad or upset and end up in this terribly dangerous state of self loathing that brought back the darkest of thoughts. He had hit the lowest point ever in his life after he woke up blind. He spent the first three days crying until he passed out, when he woke up and cried again. His eomma did her best to get him to eat and take care of himself, ignoring him as he begged her to let him waste away. He spent the next few days completely numb and silent, barely touching any food, never moving off of his bed, and not letting a single sound pass his lips. The worst, however, was the next week when all he wanted to do was fling himself off a rooftop and see if he could fly. The doctors had put him on pain medication, his injuries from the shrapnel still hurt like a bitch, and his eomma sent him to therapy after she found him laying on his bed with pills and booze surrounding his sweaty, unmoving form.

Yoongi hadn't actually tried to kill himself, the pills simply scattered when he tried to open the bottle because of how much his hands were shaking from the pain. He was over due for his next dose, and he had wanted to do something on his own for once, but he simply couldn't. The alcohol, well he wasn't sure how it ended up on his bed, there was none in his system when they took him to the hospital. There wasn't any pain medication in his system either, he had only passed out from the pain. But no matter what Yoongi did, his friends didn't believe him, and they dropped him. That's what hurt the most.

Yoongi was expecting Namjoon to drop him soon, it was only a matter of time until he fucked up royally again. And with whatever was going on between himself and Jimin, Yoongi had never been more scared to lose someone.

Namjoon always told Yoongi that he never wanted him alone when he was like this, he was always supposed to call the younger, no matter the time or day. Yoongi usually doesn't listen to Namjoon, figuring that he'd be fine after a nap, which is how it worked out mostly; however, this was a particularly bad low, and Yoongi felt as though he were consumed by black. Everything was black, but even more so than usual.

"Hey, Siri, call Kim Namjoon mobile, please," Yoongi called, glad he left his phone plugged in so he didn't have to move to call his best friend. He felt his spirits sink even deeper as the phone rang once, twice, thrice, and so on until the recorder picked up. "Hey, Joonie, it's obviously me. It's- it's one of the bad times. I'll be fine, don't worry. I'm gonna try to hang up now, sorry in advanced." Yoongi grabbed his phone and tapped wildly at the screen until he heard the signature sound of an ended call. He dropped his phone on the bed next to him, sighing in defeat.

Maybe if I were an actual functioning human being, I'd have someone to call, he thought bitterly.
If you were an actual functioning human being, you wouldn't need to call, his mind replied, making him feel even more like shit.

His thoughts wondered to the boy he had met the previous day. I could always call Jimin, I guess, Yoongi thought before placing his phone down.
I'll call him if it gets really bad. Which it won't. I won't let it.

Yoongi sighed and grabbed his phone, heading out to the kitchen to make food. He sat on a stool as he picked at the previous night's left overs, not very hungry. He eventually put the food back into fridge, deciding he'd text Jimin after the long radio silence from Namjoon.

He's probably living it up with Jin, Yoongi theorized, walking to the den. Apparently Namjoon had missed the towel his cousin left on the floor when he helped the elder clean his apartment, and Yoongi was unfortunate enough that he didn't realize it was there until it was too late. Yoongi slipped, a small yell tearing through his throat, his collarbone connecting with the edge of the coffee table. Yoongi rolled and landed on his back, his whole left arm erupting with pain, tears flooding his eyes.

"Fuck," he choked out, reaching for his phone. Remembering that Namjoon had yet to answer, Yoongi activated Siri and whimpered out a small "call Jiminnie", his mind unable to think because of the pain he was experiencing. The phone only rang once before he heard it being picked up.

"Yoongi hyung, annyeong! What's up?" Jimin's bright and bubbly voice rang through the air, and in any other situation Yoongi would've commented about how excited the younger was from a simple phone call. Instead he let out a cry of pain followed by countless whimpers- he had tried to move into a sitting position, but the slightest movement shot extreme pain up his whole side that radiated throughout his chest. "Yoongi? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Jimin asked, concern clear in his voice.

"I- I need you, t-to come over-" a strangled cry escaped his lips and his face scrunched up from the pain cursing through his veins.

"Yoongi? I'm on my way, but what's wrong? Are you okay? What happened? Wait, no, dumb questions, can you open the door?"

"No," Yoongi whispered, feeling his consciousness slip through his fingers. "The spare k-key is a-above the win-window at the-the end of the hall."

"I'm coming, I'll be there in less than five minutes, don't worry, darling you'll be okay."

"P-Please, j-just hurry," Yoongi whispered before he fully lost consciousness, being consumed by black.

"I will. Just hold on Yoongi, I'll be there soon. Yoongi? Fuck, Yoongi?! Shit," Jimin swore, begging traffic to move faster.

// hey guys! I wanna finish this story before New Years, so let's see if I actually can, or if school and volleyball will stop me. I need to go do my history project worth 200 fucking points (a test is worth 100 to put this in perspective), but I'd really rather write gay ass kpop fanfiction.
ALSO THE COMEBACK?! ITS TECHNICALLY NOT AROUND IN AMERICA BUT A BEAUTIFUL TUMBLR USER PUT THE AUDIO UP ON HER BLOG AND THE ENGLISH TRANSLATIONS I WAS SO PSYCHED. STILL AM. AND OH MY GOD THE THEORIES ARE KILLING ME.
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Love you Loads! \\