The Bitch You Killed

Chapter Forty Three

Song of the chapter is 'Zombie' by The Cranberries.

Love the new cover, thanks so much to the wonderful 

CHAPTER FORTY THREE

Time felt like it was standing still as I sat in the corridor on the floor with my head between my knees. I continually gripped my hair in anger and frustration, internally screaming at myself as this situation was my fault. I wanted this but now that it had happened I couldn't help but regret it.

My life before my death had been one entire game. I thought that I was simply a chess piece being moved and directed by those around me. I had told myself that actions in life, no matter how cruel and callus they had been, were not my doing. It was a combination of external forces such as fate and the way someone else reacted to a situation. I always blamed someone or something else and never took responsibility for my mistakes.

In death I thought that everything I ever did had been swayed by Mackenzie's mind games but now as I sat on the cold linoleum floor I came to the realisation that my life was still a game but this time I was the one in control.

I had ordered Chase to get those drugs through manipulation and now Caleb was in intensive care after having his insides drained of the drugs. There was no way there could be no lasting effect even if he survived.

All he had ever tried to do was make me happy. I pushed him into his drug addiction and then coerced Chase into getting exactly what Caleb had come to rely on. All he had ever wanted to do was to play hockey and now his life was hanging in the balance.

No matter the outcome, Caleb's death or subsequent life would hang over both mine and Chase's heads. And in a way I was grateful I was dead. When this was over I would cease to exist and most likely never have another thought again.

But Chase wouldn't be that lucky.

I looked up at my brother who sat on the metal chair attached to the wall beside me. He was sitting in a similar position, staring blankly at the floor. Probably blaming himself or me. I would rather he blamed me. I had been like a cut on his arm, but now the healing process had been disturbed and he would forever bare the scar of my selfishness.

I had always maintained Mackenzie was the game player but here I was using the only person I had left in the world to cheat my way to victory.

The idea continued to swim around in my head alongside the ominous reasons I had been given that night by the pool. I was the reason for Caleb's head dive off of the cliff and into a life of addiction. I had basically pushed him off of that cliff with my constant pressure and threats.

I was the murderer now. I was no better than Mackenzie or Tyler or Marnie's father.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Chase asked in a whisper from beside me with out making eye-contact. A young nurse walked by and looked down at him obviously hearing his hushed question and assuming that he was talking to God and not the devil reincarnate sat beside him.

I waited for her to pass before sighing, "no."

Chase looked towards me, his eyes void of any emotion, before looking back at the floor, greying from age.

"I need to see my son!" I heard a familiar feminine voice say from down the corridor. I could hear the panicked clicks of a pair of heels as the got closer. I looked in her direction and stifled a noise threatening to make my way from my throat as I saw Marie Benson making her way towards room 17, where Caleb lay hooked up to several machines.