The Bitch You Killed

Chapter Forty Eight

song of the chapter Ben E. King's Stand By Me

PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE IS ONE CHAPTER AND AN EPILOGUE LEFT. (after u finish reading this chapter) IM TRYING TO UPDATE BUT IVE BEEN SICK AND IM REALLY BUSY AT SCHOOL. SORRY ITS TAKING SO LONG.

As I stood on the bridge leading out of town, I couldn't help but feel ever so slightly ashamed of myself. Inevitably, all of this had been my fault. I was a prime example of the dorky but nice girl who got mixed in with the wrong crowd. If I hadn't of been so desperate for an actual friendship, maybe I wouldn't be in the position I had now. If you looked at my life from a different aspect, you could argue that I was a victim of circumstance. Things happened to me which I couldn't prevent. There was no point in wishing to rewrite the past because maybe I was always supposed to die on the last day of summer. Maybe this was what was planned all along.

But as I looked at Mackenzie's car which was parked beside the cliff edge, where the bridge no longer reached, I knew that what was happening right now, was my fault. This was my doing.

I knew Mackenzie Rivers was a strong person. In a way, you couldn't help but admire her for her strength of character. She didn't often say sorry or admit her mistakes but she still powered on, like every good bitch does.

I could see her blonde hair was pulled up into a scruffy ponytail and her driver window was open and the wind was blowing into the car, tangling her hair up even more.

I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. Was I waiting for her to notice me? Or was I waiting for her to get out of the car and go to the cliff?

Growing tired of waiting for the inevitable, I made my way to the car and spooked her as she turned to look at me sitting in her passenger seat.

Mackenzie looked more sickly that I had seen her in the last while. Her eyes were dull and her skin practically grey. Her hair lacked shine and volume and instead had grown thin and straw-like. 

    "You're wrong, you know," Mackenzie started as she turned her head back to her window and looked out of it towards the cliff side. The trees on the other side were blowing wildly as the wind was gathering speed. 

     "I do feel guilt and I'm growing crazy because of it. I know you're not here, but in my head you are," she said, as she finished her sentence her voice got lower and she sounded more pathetic than I had seen her in a while.

    "You know how to make me go away," I replied, looking at her and feeling little to no emotion. I didn't feel any sympathy for her because I knew I wasn't real too. Part of me wondered whether this game had been mine all along. Was I real or was I the creation of guilt? If I was formed from guilt then I worried I would be here forever, you can serve time in prison and still come out feeling guilty for the crime you committed.

Mackenzie nodded, "I know," she whispered as her voice broke and tears began to roll slowly down her face.

    "I knew you'd be here," I stated as I turned away from looking at her, trying to prevent anger from seeping into my tone. 

    "How?"

I snorted before replying, "you once told me that you didn't want to grow old and planned to kill yourself when wrinkles set in. You said you'd do it here."

She turned to face me while expelling a huge breath, "it's peaceful here. I always liked the idea of my body being swallowed up by the sea," she murmured with a small smile in my direction, as though we were talking about old times again.

    "You say that as though I care."

    "You used to," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders.