his angel (#1)

shattering

emotions make me cringe

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"You're invading my space," I muttered, scooting backwards on my bed; my back hitting on the pillows. He was too close for my comfort.

"I don't believe you," Eros replied bluntly.

"Sorry, I don't speak Feta Cheese."

"I don't speak bullshit."

"Touché, Olive Oil," I answered, feeling my lips twitch with a smile.

"Dear god, don't call me that again," Eros replied, unrelenting in his argument.

I hadn't noticed how close he was till my eyes picked up on his faint outline dangerously close to me. "Fine, Greek Salad."

He sighed heavily, making me sputter with a laugh. "You're impossible."

"Well, I'm certainly not basic," I replied, enjoying the exasperation in his voice that was starting to make itself known.

"You are probably the most stubborn person I've had to be a guardian angel for," Eros muttered, and I could feel his eyes studying me, trying to find a crack in my demeanor. So he could slither in with his whole 'shrink' attitude, his gentle voice that made me want to spill my entire life story to him. All he needed was a chair and clipboard at this point.

I couldn't put my guard down too much, because pain would be my contender if I did. I couldn't let him know how empty I was, no matter how much of a façade I put up.

"I can sense how you truly feel, Tessa. You're holding yourself back because you're scared, you're terrified of having someone to confide in. You're scared to let someone make you feel." I could sense his gaze burning relentlessly on my skin, raising goosebumps.

My heart rate sped up from the truth that was slapping me in the face.

"I know how lonely you are despite the whole act of looking alright that you put up. I know that you're lonely because your parents are never home and your sister has drifted away. You don't have a single friend in school, because everyone's intimidated by you. You're not happy with the way you look, the way your are, the way your future is going. I know."

My breath caught, completely knocking out of me. My throat was dry, like I hadn't just had three bottles of Snapple earlier. "Leave. Right now. I don't need you in my life, analyzing my brain and shit and claiming you're just trying to help. Leave."

"Tessa, I'm trying to help you," his voice was gentle, but I didn't care.

It was terrifying how right he was, how he summed up my life so accurately. How he laid out the fragments of my life in front of me, reopening wounds I had forcibly stitched together to survive, scars I'd created myself.

They were all opened and bleeding, antiseptic poured onto all of them, sizzling my skin with a furious burn.

"Get out. Now," I snapped, feeling my vision blur from the tears that were filling up my eyes.

I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't cry. I refuse to cry.It's not your fault, I wanted to say. It's me. I'm a fucked up mess who doesn't know how to deal with her problems.

 "Please leave," my voice cracked pathetically. "Please."

Eros didn't reply, but the melody of wings fluttering was my answer.

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