his angel (#1)

surprises

is that gif lit or what

•

After my incredibly socially inept move that made me want to cringe for eternity, I gathered the courage to step out of my bathroom, only to find the bed empty.

I didn't know if I should feel extremely relieved or slightly disappointed. I chickened out over the thought of feeling something more than just mere friendship, it scared me shitless at the thought of letting someone have that kind of control over me.

Over my feelings, over my thoughts.

I went to sleep pensively, tasting Eros's name on my lips and harboring the thought of him in my mind.

•

Sunlight attacked my eyes, forcing me to acknowledge it. I covered my head with my blanket but it was no use, I was already awake. Quite literally pushing myself out of bed, I trudged to the bathroom, getting ready for school.

The mirror reflected a girl with untamed, frizzy hair and almond eyes. A nose that was too small, lips that were too big and eyes that looked too boring.

Everything was wrong. I looked out of place, completely alien.

Everyone said I was beautiful, that I should pursue the career of a model, that I could get any guy.

All I could see was a girl who hated herself and was uncomfortable in her own skin. There was nothing past the never-ending list of insecurities, just a girl trying to piece herself together. Trying to see something beside her looks.

Insecurity is like the cramps that hit you full-force during your period and subside slightly, but still make you wince in pain. And your period is every day, reminding you of the damn cramp raging a war in my ovaries.

I was slowly adapting to the idea of letting Eros in, but it was difficult. Being on my own and depending on myself was second nature to me; trusting another person was as easy as geometry for me. (And I'd damn near failed Geometry.)

I left the bathroom with my hair fractionally more maintained, my face looking more awake.

As I walked down the stairs, I could hear Ophelia talking. And my parents were sitting with her, eating breakfast. 

As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs I was sweeping into my mom's arms, caged in by her bone-crushing arms. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, mom."

I felt too long since I'd seen or spoken to both of them. But being in my mom's arms felt like home.

"Don't I get a hug?" My dad rumbled, his familiar drawl drifting to my ears.

"You wish," I said, unable to hold back my smile.

"And here I thought I was the favorite parent."

I let go of my mom, wrapping my arms around my dad, breathing in his cologne which always smelled of cinnamon and sugar.

"Why were you gone for so long?"

"I'm sorry, darling," my dad answered, his arms unraveling themselves from around me.

"How long are you staying for?" Ophelia asked. Looking at her, she actually looked like she belonged in the family. She'd inherited my dad's rich brown hair, and my mom's expressive eyes and soft features.

Whereas I'd gotten dark hair, a resting bitch face and muted green eyes.

"For almost a month this time," my dad responded, the crinkles by his eyes appearing as he smiled.

And for the first time, in a long time, I was genuinely happy.

.