The Rhythm of the Rain (Patrick Stump / Fall Out Boy Fanfic)

Chapter 20 - The Song Stuck in My Head

Patrick Stump

After breakfast, I followed Lily up to our room. She sat on the bed, with her hands in her lap, and looked down at the floor. I sat down beside her silently. Everything that felt okay when I woke up, now felt like it might not be. I knew we would have to talk about it, but I was terrified that we'd end up fighting again. I glanced over at her, afraid to touch her, but wanting to hold her hand at the same time. She was still staring at the floor. I could see the wheels turning in her head as she contemplated exactly what she wanted to say, so I didn't interrupt and simply waited. Finally, after a minute or two, she looked up and met my gaze with a frown.

"Patrick," she whispered, shaking her head, "You know we can't just jump right back into this." There it was; She regretted last night. I didn't regret a thing, but I nodded anyways, agreeing with her because I love her and I don't want her to leave. "I'll still stay," she added, remembering what she had promised me in the kitchen this morning. "I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to."

Immediately, I shook my head. "No," I said, my voice a little hoarse, "No, I want you to stay." I couldn't help myself anymore, looking at her hands as she wrung them in her lap. I reached over and took her left hand, lacing our fingers together. She glanced down at our hands with a smile, but quickly turned her attention back up to me.

"We still need to talk about what happened," she said. I nodded. Lily shifted to face me fully on the bed, and in the process, moved a little closer to me. I turned as well, still holding her hand between us and playing with her fingers. She waited a long time until she said something, and in that time, she stared at our hands and watched me hold onto the ring finger of her left hand for a moment, a thought crossing my mind that I shouldn't be thinking about right now. Finally, she sighed and looked up at me. "You let her kiss you," she stated. She didn't accuse me of kissing the girl this time.

"Yes," I stated, unsure of what else to say. Lily looked at me sadly, but she wasn't crying. She nodded and looked down at our hands again.

"Why?" She asked, barely whispering.

I sighed and held her hand a little tighter. "I thought she was you," I said, making her tense up. "She had long, curly hair like you, she was in a red dress. And honestly, I didn't think there was any possibility of anyone else at that party wanting to kiss me besides you."

"She had dark hair," Lily said, leaning towards me slightly.

"I know," I sighed, running my free hand through my hair. "I know, I was stupid and I wasn't paying attention."

"You were pretty drunk," Lily said, the faintest hint of a smile gracing her lips. I smiled back and tugged on her hand, leaning towards her until my forehead was pressed against hers.

"I love you, Lily," I told her, brushing my nose back and forth against hers.

She reached her free hand up and gently touched the side of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. "I love you too," she whispered, and suddenly, she was pushing me away and climbing into my lap. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck, burying her face in my shirt as she hugged me tightly. I held her as close as I could, neither of us wanting to say anything for a while, and I rubbed my hands up and down her back. After a few minutes, I felt Lily shaking slightly, and I knew she was crying. I held her a little tighter and turned my head to kiss her cheek, but I didn't say anything. Instead, Lily choked out a broken apology. "I'm so sorry, Patrick."

"Stop," I whispered, squeezing her tiny body to mine. "It's over now, it's okay."

"No," she whimpered, "I was stupid, I should have told someone where I was going."

I sighed and turned my face into her neck, nuzzling my nose against her soft skin. "Yeah," I said, "You should have. I was so scared, baby girl." She tensed against me again but I decided that this was the time to just get it all out without fighting. I had to keep talking and tell her everything I felt over the last month. She had to know. "I was a mess after you left," I whispered, still rubbing her back, "I couldn't sleep for a while, and when I did, I had nightmares that you were hurt or dreams that you came back, but when I woke up, you were still gone. I don't ever want to lose you again, Lily."

"I don't ever want to leave again," She whispered, leaning back a little to look at me. There were tears on her face, so I reached up and wiped them away, smiling at her a bit, and she smiled back. A slight blush crept over her freckled nose and across her cheeks, and then she suddenly leaned in to kiss me. I relaxed as her lips moved slowly with mine, gently sliding my hands down to her hips. She tangled her hands in my hair and I kept still beneath her, leaving her to take the initiative if she wanted. She didn't though, and that was perfectly alright.

She pulled away after a while and leaned her head against mine, looking up into my eyes. "Studio today?" She asked, and I nodded.

"With Pete. What about you?" I asked, referring to her job.

She shook her head. "I haven't taken a job since I left," she stated. I nodded slowly, and squeezed her hips again.

"Come with me today," I requested.

"Patrick," she sighed, smiling anyways, "I can't. I don't want to intrude on your work."

"Shut up and come with me," I laughed, moving to nuzzle my face into her neck. She hummed a satisfied noise and played with my hair some more. "I don't want to be away from you right now," I whispered. Lily hesitated a moment, then finally nodded with a smile and began to climb off of my lap.

"Fine," She giggled, "But let me shower first." I grinned at her as she went to the closet that still held most of her clothes and found something to wear, and then she disappeared into the bathroom. I fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, and sighed contentedly.

I was so happy she was going to stay. But now, I had a new thought on my mind; The same thought that had taken me when I was holding her hand and playing with her fingers. I already know that she means so much to me, and I know I'm a mess without her. I know I want to wake up next to her every morning, and fall asleep with her every night. I want to make love to her for the rest of my life. I want a future with her. And right now, I really needed to talk to Pete about this, before I got in over my head and moved too fast.

A/N: Again, I'm so sorry for the short update! I'm still trying to write essays for final exams and what not. I should probably have time this weekend to write longer updates, just hang in there! Love you guys!