We Are A Beautiful Disaster

Where Do We Belong? Anywhere But Here

So yeah chapter one! Let's do this. You don't necessarily have to read the first book to understand, but it might help later on. Besides, it makes this story more enjoyable I think.

Gerard pov

"I-" he let out a shaky breath. "I n-need a break." He mumbled. I remember the strain in his voice as he spoke.
"How long?" I asked trying to calm myself. My hands shook uncontrollably casing me to clench them into fists against the ground.
"I don't know." He said. Frank's face is forever burned in my mind. The image of his tears staining his red cheeks and how he refused to meet my gaze, but I stared at him anyway. His eyes were red and glassed over. His lip trembled, and he tried to cover it up by biting it. "Goodbye for now Gerard. I'll be back." He backed up from my shaking body slowly. He turned around and began to walk away with a drag of his feet.
He didn't want to leave me right? At first, I would debate for hours; going back and forth on wether he actually loved me or not. Whether he ever thinks about me anymore...
"Frank?" I rushed out. I didn't recognize my voice when I spoke those words. I remember my voice trembling and everything came out as a pathetic broken plea.
He said nothing as he turned a quarter of his body toward me indicating he was listening. He knew in that moment I was. That's why he couldn't look at me.
"I really do love you."
"I know, Gerard." He didn't say it back. Why? Is it because he didn't want to give me false hope about him ever coming back? Did he plan from the beginning to never come back? Did he think doing it like this would have helped me in some way? It didn't.
I'll never forget the way my vision blurred as I watched Frank's back as he seemed to fade away or the way I screamed, leaning down to rest my face against the muddy ground, or the way I cried violently, throat burning, or how it felt when the saliva began to drool from my mouth; the last thought on my mind being how gross or mentally insane I looked right then. I was afraid to be alone and Frank was my everything. The whole scene was a tantrum that I'll never forget...
~~~
"Hey Gerard?" I jumped as I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Yeah? Uh sorry." I said remembering where I was.
"You okay?" Bob asked.
Bob Bryar was my boss. He's also one of my whopping amount of three friends. He was a close colleague of mine back in high school. One of my fiends that weren't ever fucked up. He's one of the reasons I got this job. Despite my records that basically state that I've lost my mind, he gave me a position. Besides, a coffee shop barista isn't exactly a serious occupation; he had no reason to turn me down. I'm perfectly capable of working here. I prove that everyday. It takes my mind of things and it's not as stressful work as my past jobs. Mikey made me quit all of them because I was over working myself.
"Uh yeah. I kinda just spaced out. I'll get back to work." I assured as I continued to wipe off the counter.
"It's fine Gerard, just are you sure you're okay? You've been doing that a lot lately."
"Have I? I guess I've just been little tired." I shrugged. I honestly just wanted this conversation to be over. "I'll stop binge watching watching complete seasons of Marvel Tv shows on Netflix until 2am on work nights, I promise."
Bob laughed giving me a pat on the back.
"I can't blame you there. Those shows are fucking awesome. I prefer the comics though." He agreed, winking then returned to the backroom.
I sighed, pausing my actions for a moment to think of something else productive to do.
I felt slight boredom occupy the back of my mind. It was a slow day, only a few customers came in and ordered something to go earlier this morning. My vision focused on the clock that hung on one of the beige walls of the café. It read 12:45pm. My shift was over at 4pm.
Mikey came yesterday. Bob let me have a break, and we chatted for awhile. Mikey is attending college down the street. He decided to major in music, and I'm honestly so happy for him. He's tried to talk me into applying multiple times, but I'm perfectly content with just Café Belleville. As lame as that sounds.
My attention shifted to the door as it opened, the little bell connected to it jingling faintly.
"Hi, welcome to Café Belleville. How can I help you?" This job has helped with my social skills for sure. I used to be such a shut in.
Yes, I still hate public speaking, but I no longer have a problem with speaking our company greeting phrase to anyone.
The customer was male and looked to be about 20ish years old. He had short black hair and looked really familiar. Though, that was a normal feeling for most people who live in this small town. Everyone knows everyone in some way. He wore all black but had a red flannel tied around his waist.
Fashionable guy.
"Hi. I'd like a small mocha."
"Alrighty. That will be $1.50 please. He reached into his pocket and pulled out exact change and handed it to me.
I placed the money in the cash register then turned around to start making his order. I grabbed a cup, placed everything in the machine and pressed brew. The man waited at the counter staring at me. I pursed my lips silently letting him know this was awkward.
"Sorry it's just-do I know you?" He finally asked.
His drink was done brewing, and I grabbed a lid. I pushed it onto the warm foam cup and handed it to him.
"I don't know. Do you?" I questioned.
"What's your name?"
"Gerard Way." I said pointing to the name tag pinned to my green work vest.
"I swear I know you, dude. I'm Pete by the way, Pete Wentz."
Suddenly, I knew exactly who he was. "Frank's friend." I said before I could stop myself. The name left a strange sensation on my tongue that made my stomach cramp and my eyes water.
Pete frowned and I assume he knew who I was too. "Yeah."
"Long time no see, Pete." I never knew him too well. We met the night of my party barely over three years ago.
"No kidding." He breathed almost as in disbelief. "How have you been?" The way he spoke I can tell he was all too familiar with Frank and I's break up. Frank must've talked to him about it before. How I clearly took it hard.
"I'm good I guess. I spend most of my time here working because I quit my other four jobs, and Mikey is in college."
Pete visibly perked up at the mention of Mikey. I did that purposely to get the conversation topic off me, and the disaster that is my life.
"Mikey. I haven't seen him in forever..."
"Glad I'm not the only one who feels like three years is equivalent to forever."
"Four years come October." Pete sighed taking a sip of his coffee.
Pete's phone began to ring. He took it out, taking a quick glance at the caller ID. His eyes widen and darted from the phone to me.
"I gotta go take this. It was nice seeing you Gerard." He said sincerely and raised his cup of coffee to silently thank me.
"Yeah. It was." I spoke ignoring the way my voice became small and sadness clouded my stomach.
Pete answered his phone and walked out the door with his phone pressed against his ear.
The door didn't close fast enough. I heard the words "Hey. What's up Frank?" Leave Pete's mouth before they blew away with the September wind.

Fuck my life....