We Are A Beautiful Disaster

Smoke Rings

Mikey pov

"I love you too Gerard. Never forget that. Hey, maybe I could come visit soon. I-"
My sentence was cut off abruptly by a harsh knock on my dorm door. I grumbled to myself. Kellin has been messing with me all week, and I'm about to fucking riot.
"Someone's knocking on my door. It's probably Kellin again. I'll talk to you later Gerard okay?" I smiled, though I'm totally done with the college pranks.
    "Okay, Cool. Bye." Gerard sounded a little disappointed, but I think he's okay. He'll occupy himself somehow. I mean, he can't work all the time. Might as well learn other ways to entertain himself.
    I ended my call with Gerard and made my way through my messy dorm to the door. I kicked a pile of dirty clothes out of the way and lugged the door open. Damn, I really need to clean up.
    I moved my attention from the mess my place is to whoever my company was. My eyes widened drastically when they met with the last person on the fucking planet I thought I'd ever see again.
    "Frank?" Was all I managed to speak. I felt my hands run cold, and I was stunned for a moment. Shock momentarily numbed the feeling of anger bubbling in my stomach.
    "Mikey, Hey. How ya been?" He asked quietly. His lips were pressed into a slight frown, and his eyebrows were pulled together to give him a serious look to his face. Frank changed a lot since I last saw him. His hair was grown out to shoulder length, and I swear he was a bit taller. He grew out of his makeup phase, leaving his appearance to be actually quite put together. That made me mad.
    "You shouldn't be here. How'd you even find me?" I resisted the urge to slam the door in his face. I was feeling resentful toward Frank. I mean, he broke my brother's heart, abandoned him after all they went through.
    "Pete told me where you were." He admitted awkwardly. He rubbed the back of his neck and placed the other hand in the front pocket of his blue jeans.
    "Pete." I sighed. I was almost disappointed in him.
    "Yeah. He didn't want to come himself. He thinks you're mad at him."
"Sending you isn't much better." I hissed passive aggressively.
    Frank inhaled like he was about to defend himself, but he stopped. "I'm sorry." He said.
"Is this apology for me or Gerard?" I chided.
He shook his head. "I-I don't know," He admitted almost shamefully. "Both." He decided.
I sighed frustratingly. "Why are you here Frank? Why are you and Pete here? After three years, why come back to this shithole? To mess with me? Gerard? I swear to god-"
"That's not it at all Mikey!" He exclaimed, stopping my accusations in their tracks. His eyes were pleading like he was trying to get me to understand something.
I know where this is leading but I don't want to believe it.
    "What is it then?! I mean, you can't just pack up and leave without a word, take my best friend with you, completely cutting me off for almost four years, then return like nothing happened!" I realized my voice was raised and tried to calm my tempered nerves before I bothered the whole building.
Frank remained quiet avoiding my gaze as his my fingernails dug into the chipping white doorframe.
"I don't know why you're here or what the fuck you're playing at, but stay away from my brother. Understand? You've hurt him enough."
    "I was never trying to hurt you and definitely not Gerard. Our break up was just as hard on me as it was him."
    "Right." I scoffed. My blood was boiling under my skin. I mean look at him! Frank is obviously fine.
    "Mikey, I'm sorry. I fucked up. I-I don't know what else to say. I just wanna see him."
    "No. No way Frank. You knew when you left Gerard would hurt, but you kept walking. All those promises you made, suddenly evaporated; completely empty along with Gerard and I's trust in you! You don't deserve to see him." I spat, looking him up and down. "You know, I always thought he'd be the one to break you. If I knew it was the other way around you-fuck!" I fumed, unable to form a full sentence as my hands trembled.
"I-"
    "No! Absolutely not. I'm not gonna watch you go in and mess Gerard up all over again! He's done so much better! He has been completely sober for two years and I want it to stay that way. Leave him alone... Please." My tone started out angry and controlling, but it began to dissolve away into desperation.
    "Mikey, I want to at least be his friend. Yours too. I think we could get to a point where it could be like it used to."
Like it used to be? High school was a long time go and there is no way in hell we could have that naive child brained friendship back. No, that died the second the two of them stepped on that plane.
    "Frank, we're not necessarily kids anymore."
"That had nothing to do with it."
    "It has everything to do with it!" I exaggerated 'everything' and let out a frustrated sigh. "What I'm trying to say is, we don't need each other anymore."
    "How could you possibly know what I do and don't need?"
    "If you're trying to indicate that you need Gerard, then you're mistaken. You seem fine to me."
"I'm not-"
    "You may be over the break up, but Gerard is not. There is still a gaping hole in his heart that you left. It's not obvious at first, but it's there. It pains him every fucking day. Putting you back into his life just isn't a good idea. It's not healthy. And as for me? I'm just not willing to forgive you."
    "I miss him so much. I just want him in my life. Not specifically In a romantic way." It was like he was trying to bargain for my permission and if so he's not getting it.
    "Why now? Why are you suddenly so desperate to have him around again?"
    "I thought I could get over him... I can't. I've tried so hard. I know coming back could upset him. I don't want that. I just can't stay away anymore."
    "You're just gonna have to deal. That's what Gerard's forced to do. You have a fucking choice to end your pain. He doesn't. Do you realize how selfish you are being? Leave." I ordered. I can't listen to this bullshit anymore.
    I stepped backward into my dorm and slammed the door shut right in his face, and damn, did it feel good.
I sighed into my hands as the worry set in. I dug around for my cigarette pack before finding it under some clothes. I lit a cigarette and reclined on my leather couch blowing smoke rings into the air. I don't fucking care if I'm inside.
I always found it peculiar how smoking is slowly killing me, but nothing relaxes me more. Another thing get from Gerard, I suppose.
Frank can not find Gerard. I resisted the urge to call and tell Gerard. I want to give him a heads up, but he's already stressed. Why make it worse? Perhaps Frank will listen and leave Gerard be. Though, I know better than to believe that. Frank is stubborn and relentless. He will find Gerard.

Surprise! Another update. Fuck exams-jk, but seriously I need to stop procrastinating. Vote/comment if this chapter is okay :)
~Kayla