Stutter | A Jaspar Fanfic

17. Acceptance

It took a week for Joe to feel normal around his family again. His mother took off time from work to take him places, try to get him to feel better about himself even if he didn't feel like shit. The first place she took him was to the mall, taking him in and out of his favorite stores.

"You love shopping," She tells him as they walk into Adidas, glancing at all the clothes. "Sometimes I think even more than Zoe does."

"I like to observe things," Joe replies, hands reaching out to look through some clothes.

"You've always been so curious," His mom said with a sigh, watching him look to the side at some shirts hanging from the wall. "I remember when you were younger, you put your fingernail into a socket and made me go mental. When I asked you what happened, you said you wanted to know what was behind the thin holes in the wall."

Joe nodded, not really in the mood to talk about himself. He never liked talking about himself, was never the one to be curious about things he did as a child, never one to go on and on about something he liked to a friend. He always kept it to himself because he felt that if he showed the world his true colors they would judge him and that has always been his worst fear.

After that day, his mom tried desperately to get him to be cheerful and happy. She would sit down and watch movies with him, speak to him about school or his friends, bake with him. And while Joe didn't mind and he did feel better, he couldn't help but feel a dull ache in his chest from knowing that none of his family would treat him the same after the Rape Kit.

His father wasn't talking about it because it would just start a fight like the one that happened at the hospital. Instead he tried to act the same towards Joe like he always did. He would crack jokes, but now they would just feel empty. As if he were forcing himself to do something he didn't want to do. Joe would be sitting on the couch, watching T.V in Zoe's tights (clothes have no gender okay fuck your norms) with a loose grey hoodie on, and he could sometimes hear his father speak to his mother through the thin walls of their house.

"That's my little boy, my little Joe, and he was...Why doesn't he want to tell me about this? Why does he want to go on as if nothing ever happened?" Graham's voice was laced with tears as Joe grabbed the remote and turned the volume down slightly to hear better. "It happened, and we didn't know for two years...I can't even be mad at the stupid fucking Lee kid because of this and I just-"

Joe grabbed the remote again and turned the T.V completely off, hearing his father go silent for a moment. The teen just inhaled deeply and pushed his father's words out of his brain before heading upstairs to go put on shoes and head to Oli's because it seemed like he and Will were the only people who treated him the same anymore.

It went on like that until Joe adjusted to the fact that his family was going to talk behind his back. He'd rather not know was going on in their brains. All he wants is to stop being handled like fine China.

$$$

School wasn't even that bad anymore. Sure, Joe knew a couple of people were still talking about him (Missy couldn't handle herself when they started talking about gun control, bringing up what happened to Caspar and throwing a smug look in Joe's direction. He kept covering his stitches with his right hand.) but something else happened that threw everyone off the whole Travis drama.

Right now, Joe was sitting next to Will in front of their first period, looking down at his phone and wondering when Caspar would text him back.

It's been a week since I sent you that text, Joe thought. That's the closest I've ever gotten to expressing my feelings for you.