Stutter | A Jaspar Fanfic

16. Home Again

Joe decided that he was fucking sick of the hospital; sick of all this shit the doctors and his family were putting him through. His father, mother, and sister, all walked in with his doctor in the afternoon. Zoe looked concerned, chewing on her thumb. His father had creased eyebrows, and his mother had glassy eyes. Joe just had his arms crossed, the level of irritation he was feeling through the roof. All he wanted was to go back in time to when everything was okay, back to when Joe was getting detention for something he didn't do, and to when he walked out of the house in duck pajamas and met Caspar. He wanted to go back in time and never wear those stupid jeans, because if he hadn't, none of this wouldn't have happened. Now he was stuck in a hospital bed, head throbbing slightly from the pain, and probably about to be thrown to whatever therapist his father could afford. 

"Hi Joe," Zoe said, quickly walking over to him and sitting in the chair that's been there for God knows how long. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Joe replied, eyes not leaving his father. "I am fine."

"We have to talk about a couple of things, Joe," his doctor said, making Joe wanted to punch him in his stupid face. "Very serious things."

"The rape kit," Joe said, swallowing a lump that appeared to form in his throat. "Yeah, I know."

"Why didn't you ever tell us anything?" His mother asked, crossing her arms as a tiny tear slipped from her right eye. "We could've put a stop to Jackson if you just told us, we could have helped-"

"It was consensual," Joe said, cutting her off. "It was consensual sex, it wasn't rape."

"He was still abuse, Mr. Sugg." The doctor said. "We asked questions, and we could tell it was abuse. Sure, you wanted the sex, but you were so young-"

"I don't care if I was young!" Joe said, slamming his head back on the pillow and looking up at the ceiling. "So what if I have some scars inside me, so what if I have some weird skin around my hips and thighs? He didn't force me to do anything, I don't have STDS, I'm fine."

Graham inhaled deeply, rubbing his hands together before crossing his arms across his chest. "Joe, you don't get it."

"I do get it!" Joe yelled, face turning red. "You think I was raped and abused but I wasn't! Sure he was rough, but I am fine."

"You're not fine," Graham said, voice shaky and eyes turning red. "You aren't, and we know you aren't. You got hurt in the most disgusting way possible, and I know you don't understand because this stupid fucking kid brainwashed you into thinking what he did to you is okay, but it isn't. Sure, you wanted the sex, but that was only because you thought you had to, because he wanted you to. And he did it with such force that he marred you, and you just don't fucking get it."

"Dad-"

"No!" His father said, voice raising. "You're hurt, and we need to fix you because you're my little boy and I'd rather get tortured for years than see my children in pain."

Joe swallowed thickly, leaning back and forcing the tears back, rubbing at them. 

"Joe," his doctor said after a moment of silence. "This is a subject we will bring up after the um, the conversation about you leaving the hospital."

"He gets to leave?" Zoe asked, leg bouncing up and down. "Like, today?"

"Yeah, we don't see why not," His doctor said, looking over at Joe. "His head isn't bleeding anymore, he isn't stumbling and he's acting normal and not with a sort of - drunk personality. We could take his bandage off, re-do his stitches, and then in about one to two weeks, he can come back and get it out and he'll be okay."

Joe looked over at his father, eyes wide. 

"Yeah," his father said. "That's great. But what do we have to do about the whole situation that is happening."

The doctor took in a deep breath, chest rising and falling. "Well, I contacted the mental health department of the hospital and they can't really take him in or anything since he isn't harming himself or others around him, but they gave me a number that you could call and go to a meeting with someone in person to talk about therapy."

Graham nodded, and Joe felt a rock lift off of his chest with the end of this conversation. 

"Can we please check him out?" His mother whispered, now clutching a tissue and dabbing it around her eyes. 

"Yeah," The doctor said, nodding and then giving a firm smile to Joe. "Yeah, you can."

$$$

Getting stitches taken out, getting a cut cleaned, and then new stitches in was fucking painful. 

"Try not to flinch," his doctor kept saying. Joe's top teeth grinded against his bottoms and he forced himself not to coil away in pain as he felt the needle pinch into his skin. "Breath in and out of your nose and try to stay calm."

Kinda fucking hard when you're putting shit into my head, Joe thought, hands clawing at the seat beneath him and letting a tear leak out of his eye. 

After that, they had to check Joe out of the hospital. Macy was off work, and Joe felt his heart sink at the thought of not being able to say goodbye to her. Instead of Macy, he got some dude named Richardo to do everything Macy would have done. He talked to his parents and went over everything, giving them a date for when he could come back to get the removal of his stitches, and gave him painkillers and explained how he should take them. 

On the way out, they passed Caspar's room and Joe hovered for a moment, looking at the blond boy sleep on his bed. 

Thank you, he thought before catching up with his sister who turned around to see why he was slowing down.

$$$

The minute Joe got home and into his room, he felt so much better as he took off his hospital clothes and got into his normal pajamas. He peaked at the box still sitting on his desk before walking over to it and picking it up and just staring at it for a while, staring at the name engraved into it. He didn't have anything to say aloud to himself, or anything to think. He just stared at it with a blank stare before his thumb traveled over the name and walked back over to his hiding spot for it, throwing it in there quickly and then going over to his phone and picking it up. There was a giant crack that traveled from his home button to his camera; probably from when Joe fell at the fight. Zoe must've placed it there for him.

He sighed and plugged it into its charger, watching as it turned on. When all of his files were scanned and he was allowed to use it, he saw a couple of texts from Oli and Will. 

Oli: are you okay? 

Oli: mate we know your in the hospital but did you get ur phone back? 

Will: hope you feel better joe

Will: i couldnt visit you bc my parents decided to go on a trip but the minute youre okay fucking call me you giant asshole scaring me like that 

Will: love you

Will: :D

Joe sighed and exited to his contact list, deciding he would send only one text to one person before going to bed in his own home for once. He scrolled down to the C's and clicked on Caspar's name before sending him a simple text. 

Joe: thank you, caspar. 

$$$

a/n: am i satan or am i satan

stuffs bout to start happening hehehehehe

byee preorder death of a bachelor on itunes also DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO NEW POLITICS ARE IF NOT LISTEN TO THEIR SONG IN THE MEDIA #DEAD