Stutter | A Jaspar Fanfic

23. Lost Boy

Joe decided the next day, since there was no school, that he would go and visit Caspar to see how he was doing. After having that talk with Oli, and then spending most of the night texting back and forth about random stuff, he started to feel better. His parents not mentioning anything about his situation made him feel more at ease during dinner, and for once, although there was still a lot going on in his head, he feel asleep the moment his skull hit the pillow. He dreamt of past memories; memories of him and his sister running around the park, family Christmasses. He woke up feeling exhausted, but found no trouble picking himself up and going to get dressed. Joe dressed himself in a simple shirt and tee, grabbing his car keys and not even bothering to eat as he left his home.

The drive to the Hospital seemed to drag on, since Joe was desperate to see Caspar. He tapped his fingers along the wheel to the beat of the song playing in his car, blew his lips and said random things to himself about cars and the people in them to make him less bored and more comfortable with being alone. When he finally got to the hospital, he all but ran in. They didn't ask for him to make a visitors pass, which was really odd. Joe just shook his head and walked to Caspar's familiar room. He knocked on the door before entering, seeing the South African's face light up when he saw who was here.

"Hi," Was the only thing Joe could get out when he was standing next to Caspar's ved, before the other boy tugged at his wrist and pulled him down into a kiss. Joe jumped slightly, before he relaxed and kissed back. They stayed like that for a single moment before seperating.

"You seem excited to see me," Joe teased, lacing his fingers with Caspar's. They weren't anything official yet. Not boyfriends, lovers. They were just a little more than friends...a lot more than friends. Joe didn't want to stress about it though, considering the boy was still in the hospital.

"I haven't seen you in a couple days," The blond boy replied as Joe sat down in a seat near Caspar's bed. "I'm also really happy. Not only because you're here, but because I'm getting out of the hospital tomorrow! I'm going to be on crutches, but it's a slow process of healing, so."

"That's so great," Joe replied, giving Caspar a giant grin.

He got one in return before Caspar's eyes flickered to the side of his head, frowning at the stitches he saw. The blond teen reached out and gently swiped a thumb over it, causing Joe's face to flush a bright red.

"Why haven't you got them out yet?"

"Terrified of the scar," Joe half joked. "Really lazy."

The real reason he hadn't gotten them out is because he's been putting it off, telling his family that he could go all on his own; that he was almost in College and should learn to do things on his own. He spoke to them just the other day at dinner about it, only to get a concerned look from his mom. He quickly changed the topic from stitches to California rolls.

"We can be freaks together," Caspar squeezed his hand. "Stitch boy and crutchie."

"Crutchie?"

"Yeah, 'cause I'm getting crutches."

Joe giggled and brought his head down to their faces, wanting to get into bed and cuddle the blond but deciding not to just get up and just climb into it. That would be rude, right? Besides, he didn't even know what they were. They were just two boys who knew that the other liked them...it was odd.

"I can't wait to get out of here," Caspar said, looking down at the ground. "Being locked up in this room, having to speak to the police; seeing the looks of my step dad and mom's faces...it sucks. It really does."

As Caspar said that, Joe started to think about how little he's spoken to Caspar over the course of time he has known the South African. Sure, he went to the movies with him, they texted a lot, and then there was the whole shooting that happened - but he still didn't know a lot about the other boy. He didn't know his favorite music to listen to, his favorite food, what makes him happy and what makes him sad. Joe didn't care about some of the things that happened his past, didn't care if he never found out why Caspar did what he did to get suspended. He wanted to know who the blond boy was as a person; wanted to know what he did on the weekends rather than why he had such a bad temper.

Joe would like to know why he did some of the things he did, but would rather know him, not the things he did. It probably would make no sense to everyone else, but Joe understood it, and that was all that matters.

"It's okay I guess," Joe said, still looking at Caspar even if the boy wasn't looking back. "After everything that happened though, you aren't treated the same."

The hand around his own tightened even more. "I didn't go through what you had to go through, it isn't far that someone like you got hurt that bad." Caspar looked back over at him and leaned down to be closer to Joe's face. "I just got shot, I can deal with that. I can get over that. It's not a big deal like what you went through."

"It's still bad," Joe argued back. "You could've gotten hurt even worse, you were so lucky! What if you end up having PTSD-"

Caspar put his free hand on the boys shoulder to make him be quiet. "Joe, I really want to hear what you have to say, but I'm fine, really. Sure I was scared shitless at first, but I'm fine now. The only thing wrong with me is my recklessness and my temper."

"I feel like you could do better," Joe whispered sadly. "I barely even know you, and I'm just so fucked up I don't know what I could bring to the table. I'm not like you, I can't say how I feel, and I'm so fucked up-"

"Well you can know about me soon, Joe." Caspar said back. "And we're all a little fucked up, but that's the side affect of living..." Caspar trailed off and Joe pulled his hand from his and placed both of them on his eyes, starting to shake even thought he didn't want to.

"My whole life is changing so much," Joe whispered. He sounded breathless and felt pathetic. "My best friend and I got into a fight and my parents aren't treating me like I want to be treated and I just came to the conclusion that I need help, but I don't want it. Caspar, I don't like talking about my feelings it's so stupid and I just feel so lost." He inhaled deeply, forcing himself not to let out a sob as a couple of tears slipped from his eye.

"I'm going to be there the whole time, Joe," Caspar shifted so he was facing him, wrapping the smaller teen in a tight hug even if it hurt the side of his ribcage. It made Joe start to weap, overcome with emotions. He felt safe in Caspar's arms, as if they acted like a blanket of protection. "I'll help you, I promise. Me and you dating or...being together won't fix your problems, but I sure hope it'll make you feel better when you're going through them. It's going to be hard in the beginning, but slowly you'll get better. I promise."

"I don't feel like it will be better."

"I won't let that happen."

Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast.

$$$

I thought that Romeo and Juliet quote would fit for Caspar and Joe. I just finished reading it in English btw. Ngl, I felt sadder at the ending then I would have liked.

Anyways, another update soon.

On January 15th I'm posting a new story oooo mystery whatever could it be???

bYe