Bittersweet Casualty|| Frerard

Chapter 14

Gerard's pov

My teeth clenched together whilst my lips pressed together; I felt my body lock up and my eyes widen as all my senses realised that someone was staring at me. My eyes locked with the bright golden orbs. They peered up at me through his dark hair.

We were standing but a few steps away from eachother. The gravel of the road crunched slightly as I shifted my weight to the back of my feet,  trying to stand comfortably and regain a more casual appeal. His eyes fell from my gaze and down to my hands. I looked down at my hands too and horror washed over me as I saw and remembered the dirtiness of them. I quickly slid them into the pockets of my jeans, attempting to clean some of the dirt off as I slid them down the material of my hoodie.

He quickly regained his gaze with mine. I saw his lips part slightly. Those few milliseconds before words slipped out of those lips had my heart beating frantically. I waited for him to question why my hands where covered in dirt, I waited for him to ask why I was in Ross's house. As I waited my mind ran through a million excuses that I could use as a cover up. But then my mind stopped think of excuses as I feared that he may already know what I've done, what if he saw everything?

My eyes scanned his face looking for any sign of emotion that would tell me he had witnessed my 'crime'. One millisecond before he spoke I relaxed as I couldn't see any expression that showed he could've known. And that's when the words slipped out.

"You're not a priest..." He stated as he looked at me with a questioning look, but I could sense the amusement in his expression and voice. I relaxed knowing that he had no idea that I just buried a body. I quirked my eyebrow at him and smirked a little as I waited for his reasoning on his statement.

"And I highly doubt you're a 'priest in training'" he said with amusement filling his voice as he attempted to mimic my voice in order to quote something I had said to him during his class.

"And why not?" I questioned as I folded my arms and let a slight smile play on my lips.

"You are just, I don't know, your...you." He paused for a moment as he tried to put his thoughts into words. "You just don't seem like a priest kind of guy, like come on..you? A teacher of gods ways?" He mocked in a way that wasn't meant to be offensive. I found what he said to be funny.

It's true, I am far from being a goodie two shoes priest of a church. 

I raised my chin at him a little, gesturing for him to continue, and acting as if I didn't really get his point just so I could hear more of his voice.

"Well...well for one, what priest wears eyeliner? And you smoke, and...and you are gay aren't you? So why would you even want to be a priest? All I'm saying I just didn't really put you down as a follower of god kind of guy." He reasoned with a shrug as he looked down slightly but then looked back at me to watch my reaction to his words.

"You're right." I said as I gave a little nod as I closed my eyes for a second. "That's because I'm not actually a priest in training." I said playfully as I reached out and ruffled the top of his hair. As soon as my fingers touched his hair it was the same feeling as putting a long needed cigarette to your lips, or the same moment when your about to taste the coffee that's brought to your lips. The feeling of not remembering or knowing how something good felt, until that first satisfactory touch, and you realise how much you want that and need that thing.

Then you want more.

I know this is a weird thing to say about someone's hair. But this was a part of him, it was franks dark curls that my fingers have touched and sunken into as I riffled them through his hair.