Bittersweet Casualty|| Frerard

Chapter 28

Gerard's pov

I could still feel franks taste lingering on my tongue. I gently brushed my fingertips against my lips, smiling to myself.

I felt frank shift a little by my side. His hand was clutching my shirt as he slept peacefully.

After our little kissing session he looked at me sleepily, snuggled into my side and quickly drifted off to sleep.

I was currently lying on my back staring up at the ceiling while one of my arms were wrapped around franks small body that was curled up against me.

It felt so nice. I don't think I've ever enjoyed human company this much.

I sighed gently and closed my eyes. I doubt that I'm going to be able to fall back to sleep.

Once my eyes were closed my thoughts were left to wonder freely; but all I could think about was everything that Frank had said. Was he really that scared of murderers? Did he really hate them that much?

I can't stand the thought of frank being scared of me if he eventually finds out about the lives I've taken.

I unintentionally clutched frank a little tighter to me.

Maybe he won't see it as such a bad thing when I justify my actions. I mean..I do only ever kill for revenge. I never kill for 'the fun of it' or just because I 'feel like it'. There is always a good reason for doing what I do, and I think if he understood that then he wouldn't have a problem with it...or at least maybe not as much of a problem with it.

Although I could always just...stop killing altogether.

It is kind of a vicious cycle if I think about it.

You start killing the people who have done wrong and you find that you can't stop.
You kill one bad person then you gotta kill the next, and there are so many bad people that you come across in your life. What if you get sick of killing people and you just want a break, but then you come across someone else that's bad, what are you going to do? Let that bad guy go? No you have to kill him too.
It's an endless cycle on trying to give all the horrid people the payback they deserve and getting revenge on those who have hurt the ones you love.

But I suppose there is always going to be people that will hurt you and the ones you love. The bad people aren't just going to go away. I can't just keep trying to kill them all for the rest of my life can I?

Maybe it is time to stop.
When you have people that like you I suppose the stupid people don't matter as much because you have that one person who actually cares about you.

I guess frank is sort of that person.

But it's just weird because killing has always been my thing. I secretly protect the ones I love by eliminating the dangers. That's like my job.

I'm not really the kind of person to have friends and people that like me.

I don't know if I do want to stop killing people. They deserve it. What if my brother has to deal with more bullies in his life? What if he gets a girl friend or boyfriend that plays with his emotions and breaks his sweet little heart to pieces. I'm not going to be able to just sit back and watch it.

But then I don't know if I'm going to be able to deal with franks reaction to things if he finds out that's this is what I've been doing.

I don't want to upset frank and scare him away.
Then I'll look like the bad guy.

I supose it's easiest just to put a stop to killing and pretend like I've never murdered anybody in my life.
I don't even know if I could murder anyone anymore knowing how disgusted frank is by it.