Loving Luke | muke [c]

Eleven

I'd never deny how good it felt to have Luke's fingers laced with mine as we waited for our bags to come in through the treadmill. The blond had lost a considerable amount of weight since he first got back to Perth a couple of weeks ago; his shirts now hung loosely down his broad shoulders and he was tightening his belt around his waist more and more each day, but he assured me his loss of weight had more to do with his grief than with his sickness. I trusted him, because apart from that, he seemed completely healthy. The last time we had been to the doctors, he said Luke looked good too. Right now, it was just a matter of being good to himself rather than trying to pull him away from critical conditions.

"Do you think Mum's going to let us decorate the house?" Luke asked in a murmur as he stepped closer to me. It felt almost as if we were a couple as I slung my arm over his shoulder, keeping him close to my side as I breathed in his scent. Luke's cologne was still the same as five years ago, and the usual pang in my chest didn't take long to strike. "We could get some really cool pictures to hang around and stuff."

"I don't know," I sighed as I shrugged. I couldn't bear to look down at him, I kept my eyes focused on the suitcases rolling in in hopes of spotting Luke's small suitcase and my duffle bag. We were only in Melbourne for five days, all I needed was underwear, another pair of jeans and a few shirts. Luke was the one who'd have to sort out all his stuff in his apartment. "This is only temporary, though. We'll be moving out of that house eventually."

"Or not." Luke muttered, pulling away from my embrace as his suitcase came through. I watched as he picked it up, dropping it in a huff as he rolled it back towards where I stood. I could visibly see his mood had changed, but decided against asking him about it. Confrontation with Luke was the last thing I wanted, especially because I knew this wasn't the best time in his life to bring arguments onto the table. Luke needed me to be calm and understanding, and I knew I could do it. I just wasn't sure how long. 

I walked off as I saw my duffle bag, swinging it over my shoulder as I approached Luke again, gesturing with my head for us to head towards the exit. The blond nodded without saying a word, but walking right up beside me as he headed through the double doors, being greeted by all the people waiting around. It felt a bit like we were invisible to them; they were focused on the doors, waiting for a certain person to come out, meanwhile we all went unnoticed. I didn't know if it was my tiredness talking, but I began to wonder if that a bit like my situation with Luke. If I had waited so long for Luke that a million people had gone unnoticed by me. I shook my head, realising how dumb I sounded in my own head before turning towards Luke.

"So, are we getting a taxi back to your apartment?" I refused to call that place home. The blond pursed his lips into a thin line, nodding slowly. "Okay, I just have to find an ATM and get some money out, yeah? Will you wait here?" 

"I have money." Luke murmured, snaking his hand around my upper arm. "It's alright, I'll pay."

I wanted to protest, to say that I'd rather pay for him than have him pay for me, but I could tell from the bags under his eyes that Luke was tired. I knew he wanted to get back to his apartment and I was pretty sure he'd fall asleep before even getting there. We headed towards the exit, and I could feel Luke's body shiver against mine from cold as we were greeted by the icy winter wind. Quickly walking up to where the line for taxis was, I swallowed the lump in my throat, tugging my best friend by the t-shirt so that I could hug him and attempt to keep him warm. I could feel a few eyes on us every once in a while. Even in a world of soulmates, where people didn't get to choose who they were destined to be with, homosexuality was still frowned upon. We weren't a couple, but we were definitely two men who also liked men, embracing. Still, none of it was supposed to matter. Somehow, it did. And somehow, it still got to me.

"Mikey?" Luke croaked, curling up into my chest. "I don't feel too good, I think that lunch didn't do me very well."

"It's okay." I whispered as I rubbed his back soothingly. "We'll get you home and then get you some medicine, okay? Just keep breathing for now until we get home."

Luke didn't say anything else, instead, he nodded with his head resting on my shoulder as I pulled him up the line until it was our turn to get into a taxi. I opened the door for Luke, letting him in as I put our bags in the boot of the car and slid into the small Toyota right next to him. By the time I had closed the door, Luke had already given the driver the address and we were wheezing our way out of the busy airport and into the busy streets of Melbourne. Luke handed me the money for the taxi ride and the keys to his apartment before resting his head on my shoulder again, and I knew for a fact he had fallen asleep and did not want to be woken up. That was one of the things Luke hated the most. 

I hadn't realised we had pulled up in front of Luke's building until the taxi driver turned around to look at me, waiting for me to hand him the money. I cleared my throat, handing him the notes Luke had given to me before thanking him for the ride. I picked Luke up, wrapping his lanky legs around my waist and keeping my arm underneath his bum to keep him up. He looked like a giant baby, but there was no other way I could get Luke inside his apartment without waking him up or leaving our bags behind. After much trouble of managing to roll Luke's bag into the building without disturbing Sleeping Beauty, I slid the key into the slot (it was just my luck that their apartment was at the very back of the ground floor), unlocking the door and kicking it open with my feet.

The apartment was a lot smaller than I had expected it to be, but it was cozy and resembled Luke very much. Just by looking at it, I could imagine Luke living in it, with all the mismatching furniture and the CDs scattered all around the place. Guitar picks and guitar strings were all over the place, along with coffee stained scraps of paper with lyrics written on it. Luke was messy, and that was no secret to anyone: especially not me. But the apartment was scarily tidy for Luke. Hell, it was even tidier than the apartment I shared with Calum and Ash. 

Groaning as I tried to pull Luke further up to make it more comfortable to walk with the lanky blond dangling from me, I stepped further in, deciding to just put Luke to bed and sleep on the couch. I could hear my best friend's mumbles as he slept, and for some reason, that comforted it me. It had been ages since I had heard him talk in his sleep and hearing it at that moment put me right back to when we were seventeen, and Luke would come over and cuddle when he couldn't sleep. I wondered if Luke ever spent nights awake next to Ale wishing he could be next to me. I knew I had spent countless nights thinking exactly that. 

I walked through the first door down the corridor, and just by the messy sheets and black jeans scattered all around the place, I instantly knew it was Luke's room. It looked just as messy as his room back in Perth always did, and the warmth that spread through my chest as I stood there was more than I could expect, knowing that this room was one Luke shared with his soulmate. It still screamed Luke and there was barely any hints of Ale here in there. It made me wonder if Luke had gotten rid of all his things or if the two of them were just that similar that what resembled Ale also resembled Luke. Placing the blond down on the double bed felt like a relief, but also felt heavy in my chest. It was the closest I had been to Luke in five years, and my one desire was to slide into bed and cuddle with him for the rest of the night.

"Night, Luke." I whispered as I pulled the sheets over his body after removing his shoes and jeans. Luke groaned, snuggling into the pillows.

"I love you." Luke murmured. I couldn't tell if that had been directed at me, or if Luke was dreaming about Ale. But either way, I smiled, pressing my lips to his forehead.

"I love you too." I whispered, walking out of the room and turning off the light before heading into the living room for my first night on Luke's couch.

~~~

thank you all so much for all your love on my message for you guys. i'm sorry i haven't individually answered all of them because of time, but i had read through every single one and it honestly made me feel so much better about the situation! i love you guys so much and i'm glad you all understand. i won't completely leave wattpad, but my updates will be a little less frequent. i knew i wasn't going to stop writing, but i was a bit unsure about publishing these chapters straight away. you guys are so supportive, i want to hug you all!!