To Feel Again [Welcome To Wolf's Peak]

Chapter Five - Adrian

Adrian

Training was kicking my ass. Peter was a merciless teacher in the arts of self defense and combat training and it was taking its toll on my body. I may be a shifter but my body was still sore from what it was being put through. My cuts and bruises healed, damaged or broken bones mended but some of the aches remained. Perhaps it was all mental, after all this was all new to me.

After finishing my training for the day I decided to go straight to the station. My shift wasn't due to start yet but I could grab a shower and change in time to clock in. I strolled in through the bay doors and turned right in the direction of the bunks and shower room. I was lost in my own head thinking about what I'd learned earlier in training when a scent caught my attention. My stomach dipped painfully and I dropped my bag at my feet. Turning I followed the scent to the rec room. Only one person was inside, something that I would later be grateful for since I was fully focused on him and saw nothing and no one else. 

Owen turned his head when he heard me coming and stood with a look of surprise on his face. "Adrian?"

I crossed the short space between and caught him by the shoulders. He let out a sound of surprise and stiffened when I buried my nose in his neck inhaling deeply. I pulled back so quickly that I felt a pinch of pain in my neck and I released my hold on him and stepped back. My panther was frantically growling but I showed no outward sign of the chaos going on inside of me. 

"Adrian?" he repeated reaching out a hand to me that I backed away from.

"Congratulations on your mating," I told him and reversed direction. I retrieved my bag and stowed it in the bunk room after taking my uniform out of it. In the shower I hurried through washing myself. I didn't want to spend too much time alone, that only gave me time to think and thinking only dredged up emotions that were still too raw and frightening. I'd finally made my decision and was facing my fears but I couldn't expect my mates to wait for me indefinitely. I wasn't sure why I was so surprised that they'd completed their mating. It hurt like hell to have that knowledge. 

When I clocked in and started my shift there was no sign of Owen. For probably the first time in my career I was praying for a busy shift. 

Two hours later I was restocking the ambulance. We hadn't had a call out yet and my partner was sitting in front of the television in the rec room with some of the firemen on shift. I'd volunteered to do the check and restock on the ambulance by myself.

"Adrian," a deep familiar voice said behind me. I sighed and turned to face Niko. His hulking form was blocking the rear doors of the ambulance and making it impossible for me to escape.

"What do you want Niko?" I set down the unopened box of gloves I was holding and sat down on the gurney.

"I think you know why I'm here." He stepped up into the ambulance and sat beside me with some space between us. "Owen told me you both ran into each other earlier."

"Yes. I congratulated him on your mating, your scents have mingled together." I sounded like a bumbling fool explaining something that I was sure he already knew. I didn't understand why he'd felt the need to come down here though. Perhaps he wanted to rub it in my face that he'd claimed Owen without me being present. I wanted to ask if they'd been safe or if Owen could possibly be carrying Niko's pup but it wasn't my business and I had no right to ask that.

"It wasn't something we'd planned," he told me resting his elbows on his impressive thighs and letting his hands dangle between them. "We wanted to-"

"You don't need to explain anything to me," I said cutting him off. I was torn between wanting to hear what he was about to say and not wanting to hear it in case it hurt. I knew I was succumbing to my irrational fears but I couldn't force myself to instantly get over that. I was trying to take steps toward our future but they were small and slow. I was learning to fight to protect them so I would feel worthy of them. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"I do. We're mates too." Niko reached out as if to touch me but hesitated before his hand touched mine.

I watched his hand hover above mine and felt my resolve begin to weaken further. When he started to pull away I gave in and turned my hand to take hold of his. Niko froze with his eyes locked on our joined hands. "I can't," my voice broke so I tried again, "I can't be with either of you yet. Give me time, please? I'm trying." I squeezed his hand.

Niko sighed but nodded. "At least we're talking without screaming at each other. That's progress." He grinned cheekily and I found myself chuckling. "You're trying?" He asked.

I knew he wanted me to clarify so I did, "I'm training with Peter. I want to be able to protect you and Owen if I ever need to." A lump lodged in my throat but I continued. "I don't ever want to... I can't be helpless again, I can't watch something happen to my mate again." My eyes burned so I looked away from his intense gaze and blinked back the tears.

"I think it's good that you're training if it helps you to accept us but you don't need to worry about protecting me, I can do that myself and I can protect you and Owen too. We'll give you all the time you need we just want to know that you're not rejecting us."

I licked my lips and let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. "I'm not rejecting either of you. I loved Harry, he was my life. We'd only been mated for a few years. We built a house just down the street from our parents. We spent our whole childhood living right next door to each other. Then we first shifted and caught each other's scents." I smiled fondly thinking of Harry. "I'd had a crush on him for the longest time so I was thrilled to find out that he was mine. We had to wait to claim each other but we spent every minute we could together until then."

Niko wrapped one arm around me in silent support and I was grateful that he didn't speak. If he said anything I might not be able to continue my story and it was time that I came clean and someone the whole story. "Harry was the sweetest and gentlest person anyone could ever meet. He'd been talking about starting a family since we were fifteen and he'd finally gotten his wish." I sobbed and wiped at my tears that had started running down my cheeks. Niko stiffened beside and the arm around me tightened. "That evening we'd been planning when we were going to tell our parents but we never got that chance. We didn't even get the chance to find out if it was going to be a boy or a girl."

I found myself enveloped in a warm embrace, my face pressed against his shoulder as I cried again for what I'd lost. The difference this time was that I was physically holding on to someone who could give me hope that not all was lost that night. I felt guilty for having another chance with two men but I also knew that Harry would want me to take that chance. He never wanted me to be unhappy and while he was alive he'd made sure that I never was.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart." Niko kissed the top of my head and held me while I cried. He rocked us gently from side to side and stroked my back until I began to calm. 

Looking up I saw Owen just outside the doors to the ambulance, his beautiful eyes were overflowing with tears. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop I just wanted to make sure you both didn't start fighting again," he said guiltily. I raised my hand and beckoned him closer, he didn't need much prompting and came right up to me sandwiching me between him and Niko. 

I wasn't ready to mate them yet but it was time for me to start getting to know my mates and to let them get to know me in return.