Chapter 13
"Three things you miss from back home, go," Gardenia asked me as we both sat on the stools at work. We were exceptionally dead today, only one customer coming in since 2 PM, and it was already 6.
"Um, the actual town, to be honest. Like the shops and the population and everything," I answered, and she nodded her head.
"Okay, that's one."
"I miss not being an outsider. Everybody around had the same accents as me, and if I talk to anybody here, they look at me strangely, or point out my accent. Which is kind of getting annoying."
"Two," she held up two fingers, and I tried thinking of a third reason, but I couldn't.
"To be honest, I think that's it."
She scrunched her eyebrows up, "Really? No friends or family or anything that you miss?"
"I didn't have many friend friends, if you know what I mean. I had acquaintances, people that I hung out with, or went to the pub with. But they weren't that great. And I don't have any family left in England, apart from my dad, who I don't really miss."
"Okay, what are your three favorite things about living here then?" She dug her spoon into the small container of ice cream she grabbed from the freezer. I didn't know if she was allowed to do that, or didn't really care if she was allowed or not and just grabbed one regardless. She offered me one of my own, but I wasn't feeling that great, so I declined.
"You," I stated, without missing a beat. Her eyes widened as if she was shocked by this news, but she shouldn't be. "You're probably my favorite thing about this place. Um, I like the weather, I suppose. It's a lot sunnier and warmer than it is in England. I also like how my mum seems happier."
"She wasn't happy in England?" She asked, and I shook my head.
"It wasn't that she wasn't happy, but she was just always down, you know? Like you could tell something was wrong, and it seems to have gone away since we've been here. So I'm happy about that."
"That's good. Do you regret moving? If you could go back, would you?"
I didn't understand why she was asking these questions, but I didn't mind. She was taking an interest in my life, asking me about things that I want and things that I like. I wasn't about to question it.
"I don't regret moving, no. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't want to come here. I was pissed at my mum for wanting to move to a different country. But I'm glad we did it, now. Holmes Chapel was kind of depressing, with the memories, and the gloomy weather. It's sunny here, it's lively. Even though there aren't many people around, it just seems like it's thriving. I'm not sure if this even makes sense, it's the first time I'm saying it out loud."
"No, I understand. I can't say I agree, but I get what you're trying to say."
"You don't agree? Would you move away if you could?"
There was a lot of weight on this question, even though I said it in a light tone. She could say that she wouldn't want to move, because I'm here. She could say that she hated this place before I was here, but I made it better. But she could also say that she would move away in a heart beat, if given the chance. She could say that it makes no difference whether or not I'm here, because she hates it and wants to get away. But in a Gardenia Rose fashion, she does neither and surprises me when she goes in a different direction.
"I'd like to think I would. But to be honest, I don't know the answer to that question. I've always envisioned myself moving back to Florida, where I lived when I was little. But if somebody came through that door right now, and said, 'hey, I have a paid flight to Florida, as well as a house for you to live in, and some spending money until you find a job,' I'm not sure what I'd do. I have no clue what I want to do, or where I want to live."
