Chapter 44
"You will not believe what happened last night."
Those were the first words I was greeted with as Gardenia let herself into both my house and my room.
"You know, there's this thing, it's called knocking. Have you ever heard of it? It's kind of polite to do before walking into somebody's home."
"Any guesses?" She ignored me.
"Hm, you realized just how smart and sexy I am?"
"I don't know why I put up with you."
"Me either, really," I responded. "Anyways, please continue. What happened last night that I wouldn't believe?"
"My mom- she completely apologized for everything. As soon as you left, she just broke down crying. And she hugged me. Like actually hugged me, and was crying on my shoulder. And we sat down on my bed, and she told me so many things about my dad that I never knew. Like how she had already forgiven him for cheating before they got married, and the fact that he cheated on her throughout their entire marriage, it really effected her. And she said I just remind her so much of my dad, and that's why she was always bitter toward me. Aster was more like her, both personality and looks wise. I'm basically my dad's twin, and I'm also like him personality wise. Short tempered, rebellious, you know. And that's why she always favored my brother. I mean, it doesn't excuse her actions at all, but I sort of get it, you know? I always thought it was because she liked Aster better, which in theory, that's kind of true, but it wasn't me she didn't like. It was the characteristics that reminded her of her ex. And I get that. And I always thought she blamed me for Aster's death, but she said she never did. She said she became more closed off after his death, because she was afraid of losing me, too." Tears were now streaming out of Gardenia's eyes, and I reached for her hand, rubbing it with my thumb. "I know it's still so sucky, the way she treated me. You didn't see much of it, but she wasn't all that nice to me growing up. But, it's like, I get it now. When you and I weren't speaking the past couple of weeks, I wasn't the best version of myself. I went to the mall, trying to distract myself and shop for college things, but I went into H&M, and it reminded me of you. And I treated the employee working there terribly, just because of that. So I understand why she was like that. She said how proud of me she was, and how lucky I am to have found you, and I agree, so much. I'm so incredibly lucky. And she told me that even though I remind her of dad, I'm nothing like him where it matters. I may have a few characteristics here and there, but they're not necessarily the bad ones."
She was sobbing now, to the point where I could barely understand her rambling words. Regardless, I let her get it all out.
"We spent all night in my room, watching movies and just, you know, bonding. I don't know how else to describe it. But I just feel like it's finally different, you know? Something's changed, and I have the mom I've always wanted. And we have a better understanding of each other, more so than ever before. And I feel like it's all thanks to you Harry. You did this for us, I know it. If I hadn't found you, I don't think we would have even discussed it. Thank you."
"Gardenia," I sighed, pulling her into my lap. "None of that had anything to do with me. That was all you and you're mum. I didn't tell her to go and tell you all of that. I wished she would, trust me, but just because I'm around, that didn't change anything. Your mother did that all on her own, and you decided to forgive her all on your own as well."
"But even if she had come up to me with that conversation previously, I don't know how I would have taken it before you, Harry. You have helped me grow so, so much. I'm the most mature I've ever been, you just, you bring out all of the good qualities about me. You made it possible for me to have a conversation with my mom, a tough one that I don't think I would have been able to endure before I met you. You don't understand just how much you've helped me, Harry. Honestly."
"I disagree with you. I think it would have happened regardless, but if that's how you feel, then I won't argue. I'm glad that I've helped you, that's all I ever want to do. And just as I've helped you, you've done the same for me. I've been very reflective lately, and I know that if I hadn't moved here and met you, I would still be that no life loser, living in a small, dump, trying to support my mother and I to the best of my ability. She and I would be broke, with nothing to our names. We would both have nobody but each other, and while that's great, we were always missing something. My mum was missing Robin, and I was missing you. For the first time in my life, I feel whole. I have a future ahead of me, thanks to you. And I've learned what love is like. So I thank you, Gardenia, for doing all of that for me."
"I guess we both did a lot for each other. That's how I know that this is a healthy, and good relationship Harry. I know you may not think so, but I do think about you. All of the time. Maybe I need to work on showing it, and maybe I need to control my temper, and overreactions, but I can't help it. I love you so much, and I think my feelings for you are so strong, that no matter what, my reactions will always be just as strong. And I'm apologizing for anything in the future now. If I ever overreact again, please know that I don't mean it. I never will. I want to be with you forever, and I know that sounds kind of scary, and daunting, especially since you're a guy, but it's true. I want you to know that. And if you don't feel the same, or don't see yourself ever feeling the same, then I want you to let me know. But that's what I feel for you. And we're good, you and I. We fight, but so does every other couple. And we argue about things that actually matter, you know? We're fighting for a good reason, and we're learning from it. Me more so than you, because you're perfect, but you know." She chuckled, and I shook my head. How did we get here? How have I landed myself the perfect girl?
"I love you, and you're insane if you think that I don't want to be with you forever. I told you yesterday, Gardenia, this is it for me. And unless you decide you want somebody else in the future, I'm here to stay. I am so, ridiculously in love with you, and you make me the sappiest, cheesiest man in the world, and I don't even mind because it always makes me smile. And to finish the list of things that I love about you, that was so rudely interrupted yesterday.. I love how genuine you are, and how kind hearted you are. I love that you want to take care of animals for a living. I love how you treat your cows. I love how you appear to be so rebellious, yet you aren't. I love how stubborn you are, and how motivated you are. I love how you went back to school to graduate and pursue your dreams. To sum it all up, though, I love every single thing about you. I even love the way you overreact. It's cute when you're not pissing me off," I smiled, to let her know I was joking. "I love everything about you that makes you you, because I love you. Just the way you are. And I don't want to change you, I don't want you to think that you can't ever be angry with me, and you can't ever yell, or lose your temper. Hell, I'll lose my temper too, I'm sure. I don't want you to change, especially if it's only for my benefit. I want you to be yourself, but I'd like you to learn from our fights, so they don't get so messy. I don't ever want to go two weeks without talking to you again. You got that?"
"Okay, it would've only been one week, had you actually responded to-" I covered her mouth with my hand.
"That is besides the point," I smirked. She argued, but her attempts were futile against my hand, which was muffling her words.
"Just as you have to learn, so do I. We both do. And that's the point of relationships. We're not fully grown yet, we still have lots of it to do. But I want us to do all of our growing together, so we can always come out strong, okay?"
"You're so deep, Harry," she smiled softly at me.
And then I completely ruined the mood with my next sentence.
"That's what she said."
