Chapter 42
Caution: Mature
I stood at her doorstep, nervous as hell for what I was about to do. I would be seeing her for the first time in almost two weeks, and the thought made my palms sweat and my knees go weak. I didn't know how today was going to go. I was hoping to forgive her, and maybe we could return to how we originally were. But I've come to learn to expect the unexpected with Gardenia, and suddenly feared that she had gotten over me in the two weeks we hadn't spoken. What if she somehow met somebody else, and she was only texting me yesterday so I could give her permission to go to MSU, even if we weren't speaking? What if she just wanted to see me so she could break the news to me that she doesn't love me anymore?
I knew all of that was nonsense, even as I thought it, so I decided to rip the bandaid off and knock. If we don't end up together again today, then I know that it wasn't meant to be.
"No, I don't want to fucking buy-" she stopped speaking as soon as she saw who was at the doorstep. My hands were behind my back, so she didn't notice that they were shaking, and I was rocking on my heels.
"Hi," I spoke awkwardly, looking down at the ground to avoid the shocked expression on her face.
"Harry," she spoke, and her voice cracked. I looked up to see her crying, and my heart broke. It didn't matter what I planned to do when I was here, or what I've been trying to teach her all week. All I saw was my Gardenia in front of me, tears streaming down her face and the most heartbroken expression on her beautiful face. I ignored everything that had happened, and stepped toward her, pulling her into my arms and holding her with everything I had. I could feel her hands balling my shirt up in her fists as she squeezed me, and she may have pulled some skin with it, but I could care less. She seemed just as heartbroken as I was, and that was enough for me. She loved me, and it was silly of me to think otherwise. Like she said, she was shocked, and she was hormonal, and maybe I was overreacting at her overreacting.
"I'm sorry," I stated, even though that was the one thing I promised myself I wouldn't say. But seeing her in this state, I had to. I'd known the entire time that I was going to forgive her, but I allowed her to drown in her own guilt, and I didn't realize how hard it may have been for her until I saw her right now.
"Don't say sorry," she sobbed into me. I could feel her tears through my shirt, but I didn't care in the least. I rubbed her back. "Why are you comforting me right now, I'm a bitch."
"You're not a bitch," I responded, continuing to hold her. We were on her doorstep at the moment, and it was then that I realized her mum had kicked her out. That didn't even cross my mind when I sent her away from my house. Had her mum allowed her back into the house, no questions asked? Or did she have to stay somewhere else? I felt sick to my stomach.
"I am. I should have known better, Harry, I just jumped to stupid conclusions, and I felt betrayed, but I shouldn't have. You deserve this, Harry. You deserve the entire world, and I should've been ecstatic for you, not bitter because I was too dumb for the damn school."
I pulled away from the hug, cupping her cheeks in my palms and wiping the tears away from her eyes, "You're not too dumb, you got in as well."
"Only because of you," she sniffled, "But it doesn't matter, I'm not going."
"You are," I insisted, stepping inside her house and shutting the door behind me.
"I'm not," She shook her head, "I don't need to go to MSU to be happy, Harry. All I need is you. I just want your forgiveness, and then I'll forever be happy. You can go to MSU, where you deserve to go, and I'll go to U of M, and we'll make it work, won't we? Do you forgive me?"
