I Love Him But I Can't (Scallison)

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Have you ever looked back at a mistake and wondered what you could've done to prevent it? Well, join the club. I can't stop replaying Lydia walking in on Scott and I out of my head. I got my phone fixed and got all her messages that she had sent but hadn't gone through. If only I had gotten it fixed before then so that everything would've worked out. I'd have Lydia and Scott. Instead, I only have Lydia.

"Allison," my mom shouted from downstairs. "Lydia's here."

I walk downstairs and see Lydia in the living room. She had a red shopping bag with her and she had the biggest smile on her face.

"I got you the dress," she said. Pulling out the black dress we had seen at the mall. "You have to wear it for the Winter Formal tomorrow night. You'll look amazing in it."

"Lyds, I really appreciate it, but I just don't feel up to going. I really appreciate you trying to get me to go, but I'm not going. Cancel the date you found me and just let it go. You go have fun. I'll just stay here and watch some movies or something."

"Allison, you can't. I got you the perfect date and he's so happy to go with you. You can't make me cancel. Allison, you'll have fun."

"No Lydia! I'm not going! I don't want to go!"

"You're going!"

"No, I'm not!"

She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "You're going! That's it. I'll be here with your date tomorrow night."

She leaves before I could protest. I don't wanna go to the dance. I don't wanna see Scott and Lydia dancing. I don't wanna see them kissing. I go up to my room and sit on the edge of my bed.

"Allison," my Aunt Kate said gently from my doorway. "Is everything ok?"

I shake my head and lean into her when she sits on my bed. Kate always came whenever I needed her. I remember when I was in freshman year, I got bullied by Debbie Nolton for wearing the same leather jacket as her and for everyone saying I looked better in it. I didn't cry till I got home and even though Kate lived two towns away, she drove over to be with me. Told me to not let it get me down. That I shouldn't let what anyone says hurt me.

"Is it about a guy?" I nod and she shifts so I can look at her. "What's the problem?"

"I want to go to the dance with Scott, but I can't."

"Why not? You two seemed great together. Did he not ask you?"

I sigh and say "It's complicated."

"Did you two get into a fight?"

"He's dating Lydia. He was always dating Lydia. They got into a fight though."

Kate nods and says "So that's when you and he started getting closer?"

I nod and she pulls me into a hug. I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I want him to be my date, but he's not. I want him to be my boyfriend, but he's not. We haven't spoken for an entire week. It hurts so much. I just want him and I can't have him. Lydia has him. She's always had him, but now he's officially hers." I pull away and wipe my tears. "Lydia wants me at the dance and she found me a date. She even bought me a dress. I don't wanna see them together. I don't want to go because if I do and I see them acting like a happy couple again, it'll mean that I've lost him. That what we had is over. I don't want to admit that. It sucks that I had to choose and I chose Lydia."

Kate strokes my arm and says "Sweetheart, guys come and go. Friendships last forever though. Is Scott worth losing Lydia?"

"I don't know why I can't have them both. A best friend and a boyfriend."

"Life is cruel kiddo. It'll throw problems at you left and right. It's how you handle them that makes you who you are. Falling for your best friend's boyfriend is just one of the many problems you'll face. Do you think that Scott is worth ending your friendship with Lydia?"

"I don't know. I care about them both. I want them both around. I miss him. It hurts just thinking about him."

Kate smiles sadly and says "I think you just answered my question. If you really think he's worth it, go to the dance. Show him what he's missing. You're an Argent girl. Argent girls are totally badass."

I laugh and hug her tightly. "I love you Kate. You're always here for me."

"Of course kiddo. I love you too." She stands and stands in my doorway. "If Lydia's a true friend, which I think she is if she forgave you for the situation, she'll be ok if you date Scott. You can't help who you fall for. If you could, there would be fewer problems in the world."

"Thanks Kate."

She nods and I look outside my window to see its dark out. We ate dinner together and I went to bed. My phone got a text from Lydia though.

To Allison
From Lydia

Luv ya Allison. You're the sister I never got. I'm glad you moved here.

I am too. I don't know how glad she'll be when I kiss Scott at the dance tomorrow. I want to be with him and I'm gonna tell him that at the dance tomorrow. Tomorrow. I have a good feeling about it. That's when everything will get fixed. I hope my feeling is right.