1: Off to grandmas

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Ever heard of Little Red Riding Hood?

Well that's me.

But please, call me Red.

This isn't going to be your typical "oh I'm so pretty in going to deliver cupcakes or whatever to grandmother because I'm such a good girl" story.

No.

The fairy tales are wrong. So very wrong. The wolf got me, and, well, I'm changing. Into a wolf.

Yeah.

Just great.

I never even made it to my grandmas house before the wolf attacked me. I got about halfway there. I was walking along the thin dirt path sulking and BANG. Mr Wolfy arrived. And he was hungry.

Yeah, that just adds the sprinkles to an already amazing day. First mum kicked me out of the house to my grandmas because I smashed her favourite vase. By accident I might add. Then she made me wear this ugly red coat.

Who even wears red coats?

Seriously.

So last year.

Anyway, so then she wouldn't even drive me to my grandmas. The retched woman made me walk. All the way into the middle of a dark, wet, wolf infested forest to see an old lady. Who probably doesn't even remember who I am, let alone where she left her glasses.

Yay.

She says thickly dripped with sarcasm. I would much rather get hit with a jumbo jet.

Covered with spikes.

Dipped in venom.

Filled with hippos

Kicked by Chuck Norris.

Into my face.

Yeah, I wasn't happy about going.

So to get her back, I took the delicious chocolate chip biscuits I had just made, and some lemonade with me to give to Grandma. As if I would leave it there for mum to eat. She should think twice next time before kicking me out of the house.

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