rescue me / larry

ten / in a field of roses he was just a dandelion

"Hello, hello, anybody out there? Cause I don't hear a sound.

Alone, alone, I don't really know where the world is but I miss it now."

- Jason Walker, Echo.

~

Silence was all around Louis; there was no car horns to be heard, no music was playing outside his window and there wasn't any laughter coming from outside, and it made Louis feel like he was alone in the world. He felt like he was all alone, that there wasn't anyone else, that no one could hear him if he bothered to scream for help – it felt suffocating to Louis.

He was sitting in his bathroom, the tiles felt cold beneath his bare feet and his back was leant against the wall behind him. Louis had his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms were wrapped around his legs while soft sobs were shaking his fragile, small boy. With every sob Louis felt like he couldn't breathe anymore, and he had to do everything not to panic and breathe properly again.

His phone was lying next to him, he had dropped it after he called Zayn and it had vibrated once, maybe twice but Louis couldn't find any strength to pick up the phone, and a part of Louis didn't consider the messages important. There was a good chance those messages were simple notifications from Facebook, maybe Twitter.

The small, silver razor blade was lying right next to Louis' phone and Louis hadn't touched it since he dropped it in the first place, because Louis feared that if he picked it up he might do something insanely stupid. His thoughts were a mess, just like Louis was a mess. He couldn't think straight, all he heard were those voices in his head, screaming and shouting. To Louis it felt like he was on a marketplace full of people that hated him, full of people that screamed at him.

Go kill yourself; they screamed.

No one wants you. You have the blade; just go through with it already, they encouraged him.

The voices inside his head were extremely triggering; they wanted Louis dead and it took all the strength Louis had left not to grab the blade and end it all. Louis couldn't focus on anything else, there was nothing he could distract himself with and it was like Louis had died and went straight to hell, because to Louis hell couldn't be worse than this.

Louis silently prayed that Zayn arrived soon because Louis had no idea how much longer he could resist the urges inside his body, or much more strength was left in his body. It almost hurt physically to stop himself from cutting his veins open; right now Louis couldn't find a reason to hang on.

It was like Zayn could read minds, or Louis' guardian angel finally awoke from his coma, because the second Louis could feel himself slowly giving in the door swung open and Zayn ran into the room, immediately kneeing down next to the sobbing mess that was Louis.

"Lou, oh my god, are you okay?" Zayn muttered as he wrapped his arms around Louis. Louis looked up and his eyes met Zayns; Louis' eyes were blood-shot and red from crying while his cheeks were stained with tears. Zayn sighed and bit his lower lip.

"I'm sorry for the stupid question," Zayn said quietly. "How are you, Lou?" he then asked and his golden eyes slowly wandered from Louis' face down to his arms, and Louis got what Zayn was looking for.

"I didn't do anything after I called you," Louis muttered and turned his arm around, showing Zayn the tiny cut he had made earlier – it wasn't really deep and it had already stopped bleeding, but to Louis it was a reminder that he was a failure, that he broke a promise.

"I'm sorry, Zayn, I really am," Louis whispered brokenly as another tear ran down his cheek, dripping onto his wrist. Zayn pulled Louis closer to him.