rescue me / larry

fourteen / you're still my best friend.

Harry slowly let go of the hug, but his arms stayed on the side of Louis' upper arms. His green eyes were looking right into Louis' blue eyes, and both pairs of eyes were teared up but neither of them said a word for another few moments, until Harry took a breath.

"L-Louis," Harry started with a shaky voice. "We really need to talk."

Louis looked at Harry and nodded silently. A thousand comments were lying on the tip of Louis' tongue, but he felt like it wasn't the right time to let them out because they'd destroy everything right now.

I wanted to talk, you were the one that walked away; was the comment that burned the most, but Louis managed to keep it in as he sat down on the couch next to Harry. By now Zayn had vanished into thin air – he probably went over to his own flat when he noticed what was going on. Or when he told Harry to fix everything.

"So..." Louis said to break the silence that fell upon them. Harry brushed a curl out of his face and bit his lower lip. There were so many things that needed to be talked about between Harry and Louis, but neither of them knew what to start on, or how to start the probably hardest and most serious conversation off their lives.

"Was this the reason Zayn was here? Did he knew about everything?" Harry finally asked and Louis nodded.

"He said he didn't want me to be on my own. Zayn was afraid I might hurt myself again, and I think Liam and Niall were concerned either and it felt good to have someone here to take care of me because it got very lonely here lately, and it didn't really help anything," Louis spoke and guilt took over Harry's body because he knew that he was the reason Louis felt lonely.

If Harry hadn't gone out to party so often he might've noticed that something was wrong with Louis. Harry could've been there for Louis like best friends were supposed to be, but no – Harry was out drinking while Louis probably cried himself to sleep or did worse things; things Harry didn't want to think of right now.

"I'm sorry, Louis," Harry choked out. "And I really mean it. I didn't know you were struggling with all this. I wouldn't have gone out if I knew because Louis, even though it might not be mutual anymore – you're my best friend and I care about you. I don't know why I didn't notice the change in you like everyone else did-"

"If it makes you feel better; only Niall found out, and he told Zayn and Liam. I think they would be oblivious too," Louis cut Harry off, but it didn't make Harry feel better.

"But I was... no, I am your best friend, Lou. We always share hotel rooms, we live together and we spend almost every minute together so I should've notice. It's not something that can be overlooked easily, Louis. I should've noticed that you were starving yourself, or that you hurt yourself. You lost a huge amount of weight and I'm really sorry for not noticing earlier." Harry took a deep breath to calm himself down; he didn't want to cry, not now.

"When did all this start?" Harry asked.

"Are you talking about the disordered eating or my self-harm?" Louis replied.

"Both." Harry looked at Louis, and Louis nodded before thinking a bit, then starting to talk.

"Before I tell you, please promise me you won't blame yourself for any of this because it's not your fault, okay?" Louis said and Harry simply nodded.

"Everything started when we got in a band together, I think. I remember being happy back there because we got through, and we were put in a band with our friends. It was amazing, and I don't think I've ever been happier. But in the x factor house I started to feel something different towards you and it scared me because I've never had feelings that were this strong. I mean, I already knew I was gay and I dated a few guys, but I don't think I ever liked someone as much as you. I remember thinking that I didn't want to like you because you were in the same band as me and it made everything even more complicated," Louis sighed for a moment.