rescue me / larry

twenty-four / mistakes

Louis' heart never raced as fast as it did right now; he felt like he could see it beating if he took off his shirt. Which would feel nice because Louis was sweating. A lot. The worst part was how his hands were sweating.

That's how nervous Louis was, standing in front of the building he lived in with Harry.

To be honest, Louis wasn't sure what he was so afraid of, Harry surely wouldn't kill him.

Maybe it was the fact that he had to face Harry and he didn't think about it when he told his mum he was leaving this morning. Confrontation has always been something Louis avoided whenever he could. He didn't like having to explain himself because truth is, most things he did didn't exactly have a reason. He did what felt good to him.

Louis grabbed the handle of his suitcase and took a last, deep breath of the fresh air. He contemplated calling the cab back a couple of times but walked into the building anyways.

The elevator didn't take long to arrive and Louis held the keys in his fist. The pain the sharp edges gave him felt comforting, it kept him sane in his situation.

Louis swallowed hard when he was standing in front of the door that lead to Harry's and his flat. He could hear the faint noises of music coming from inside, so Harry was home. A part of Louis had hoped Harry was gone and Louis had a little more time to think about what to say.

Louis sighed and looked at the keys. Red marks were visible on his fingers and Louis grabbed the one that opened the door in front of him; he slowly slid the key into the lock, turned it and pushed the door open carefully.

Louis put his suitcase to the side and walked to the living room, his stomach turning slightly as his eyes fell onto Harry sitting on the couch. His eyes were glued to his phone and the music was now more prominent and Louis knew why Harry hadn't noticed him yet.

Louis walked over to the stereo and lowered the volume drastically. In that exact moment Harry turned around and froze when he noticed Louis standing there, looking back at him.

"L-Louis?" Harry stumbled, looking like he had seen an actual ghost. Louis was the last person he expected to see.

"Hey..." Louis said quietly, suddenly feeling awkward. He questioned if it was a good idea to come back already.

"What are you doing here? I mean, it's not like I don't want- I'm confused," Harry talked quickly and messy.

Louis sighed and walked over to where Harry was sat, dumping down in the arm chair near his curly-haired friend.

"I was thinking after your call," Louis began.

"I was so keen on going home and recover back from everything that triggers me, and for the first time it felt great to be back but I realised I have to go back and face everyone again sooner or later and after hearing your voice, I don't know. Something inside of me knew that I was at the wrong place and... I'm here now."

"Does it feel better now?" Harry questioned, eying Louis carefully.

Louis looked around the room before his eyes stopped on Harry, and a faint smile formed on Louis' lips.

"Definitely," was Louis' answer.

Harry nodded, looking down at his lap. Although he pictured this scene more often than not during the last weeks, he didn't know what to say and the atmosphere in the room slowly shifted over to awkward.

"How have you been?" Louis said, trying to pick the conversation up again. Harry sighed, running a hand through his curly hair.

"To be honest? Miserable."

Louis' heart sunk and he took a deep breath and opened his mouth but Harry was faster than he was.

"It felt wrong to be here alone, ever since we moved in I could count on you being there when I came home. I came home to the smell of coffee, sometimes the sound of your music coming from your room. And suddenly every time I stepped into the flat I was surrounded by nothing but silence. And the boys and I had a lot of conversations and most of them turned against me or made me uncomfortable."

Harry looked up and looked Louis straight in the eyes.

"But I'm glad you're here now," he added with a smile.

Louis' heart did a quick jump and he had to remind himself not to slip back into this.

"And I kinda needed to talk to you about something; I was thinking about when to talk to you but I think sooner is better than later," Harry then spoke and something inside of Louis' stomach turned around.

"I need to talk to you," is one of the many things you never want anyone to say to you.

"And I don't know how to start this because in my eyes this is the most cliché thing and I don't know if it's-"

"Stop beating around the bush, Harry," Louis interrupted him, raising one eyebrow.

Harry bit his lip and swallowed hardly – now it was his hard which was beating probably a million times faster than it should, and it didn't help making Harry feel better.

"I was thinking about what you told me, and talked to Zayn about it and – Louis, I like you more than I liked you when we met, more-"

"No," Louis said and pushed himself off the couch. He turned around to face Harry's shocked face; maybe it was meant to look sad but the way Harrys eyes were raised open and how he pressed his lips together was saying a lot.

"Please don't do this," Louis added more quickly, sounding weaker now. He had to pull himself together not to cry.

"Do what?" Harry questioned. He was afraid that every word he said might be the wrong one, sending Louis right back to square one.

"I was in love with you, Harry, everyone in this band knows. Hell, I still am. I'd be lying if it was past tense, but you didn't love me back for years. Now I'm ready to move on and it's like you're pitying me and pretending to like me," Louis said. "I don't want to be with you just because you feel bad for me."

"Lou-"

"Harry, I'm done. I don't want to end this friendship, but I have to move on from thinking there's ever going right to be something between us."

Harry pushed himself off the couch as Louis was about to exit the room. He quickly walked over to his smaller best friend, grabbing him by his shoulders and turning him around. Louis was looking up to Harry, expecting whatever Harry wanted to say but Harry's plan wasn't well planned; actually it was not planned at all.

Panic started to fill up Harry's body and he tried to think of something.

Harry didn't know what he was doing, but he leaned it and his lips brushed against Louis' smaller ones, and before either of them understood what was happening Harry pulled Louis closer to him.

Louis kissed Harry back, just thinking about how this was what he was dreaming of since 2010, but then he came to his senses. He pulled back and pushed Harry away from him.

Louis eyed Harry with a heavy feeling on his chest. "I can't do this, Harry. I'm not going to go back into whatever you want this to be. I'm sorry."

Louis turned around and ran up the stairs into his room, his eyes were already burning and tears were threatening to fall out. Louis didn't know what to think.

He wanted this, why was his mind against this?

___
I recently started to watch American Horror Story (I didn't have time before don't judge) so this is pretty late haha. I watched Freak Show with my flat mates and finished Murder House just this morning 🙈  I did watch asylum back when it came out but I still have to watch coven and hotel :)

I listened to "I hope this comes back to haunt you" by Neck Deep while writing this, you should check this song/band out if you haven't yet :)

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