Hush Hush-Joshaya

Part 26

Maya was awoken in the middle of the might around a month after sending her letter to Joshua.The sounds of screams and shouts were heard all around the centre and it was hard to miss.Maya steeped out of her room to see the door to Aubrey's room wide open and a group of staff stood looking sick and helpless outside.The first thought Maya got was 'where was Aubrey?'Her question was soon answered when a body shaped black bag was being taken into Aubrey's room.Maya broke.She screamed eith all her might and busty into a flood of tears.She caught all fo the staff off gaurd and was able to push past them and look into Aubrey's room.There lying helplessly on her bed was Aubrey.Each arm had one deep,long cut running down it and a pile of empty medication bottles where lying on her bed side table.Maya screamed again and ran forward,pushing off the arms trying to grab her.
"Aubrey.....No ....nonononononon....you....you're not gone.....you can't be......Aubrey wake up please.....ph my.....please......Aubrey..........you can't leave me.....you're all I have left...."
Maya was pulled out of Aubrey's room and placed into her own bed where she lay for what was days,completely numb.She didn't speak nor eat or drink.The only person left in Maya's pathetic excuse of life had killed herself.

When Maya looked at herself in the mirror and then at a photo that was stuck by the side of it she lost it completely.She couldn't take the pain anymore,she wanted to feel numb and drink the pain away.She needed the alcohol that used to drive her.The photo was of her ans Aubrey on Christmas morning,they had made each other one present so then they didn't feel alone.Maya still wore hers.It was a beautiful charms bracelet with each charm representing the challenges Maya had been through and how Maya was 'strong'.Maya looked at her self fully for the first time since arriving at the clinic.She had not been saved,She was still a mess.
"AGGHHHHHHHH"
Maya screamed at the top of her lungs and threw something against the mirror,cracking it in the process.She slowly sunk to her knees and began to cry yet again.
"I can't do this anymore.....I just want to go home.......I want my mom."
She stayed like that for a while.In a painful kind of peace.

Maya's head snapped up suddenly from its position it had been holding for the past two days.Anger was in her eyes and Maya had an aim.She walked out of her room not even feeling the faintness that overtook her from standing up on a completely empty stomach.She marched down to her doctors office and slammed the door behind her.
"Ag Maya.I know how you must be feeling right now but I am glad you want to proceed with sessi--"
"YOU DID THIS DIDNT YOU!!YOU SAID STEP FIVE WAS GRIEF AND I AM GRIEVING OVER MY ONLY FRIEND'S DEAD BODY.IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT WHY THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE HER DIE HOW DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS GOING TO DIE........she.....she is dead.....she was so young.....she was only 14."
Maya broke.Her tears began to form and fall down her cheeks.She didn't want to admitt that Aubrey was dead and she wanted to blame someone.She knew that it wasn't her doctors fault.It just felt better to blame someone than do nothing at all.
"I'm sorry.It just hurts so fucking much......even more than the fact that I don't have any alcoho-wait.Did I just complete step 5?Have.Did.What?"
Maya looked up at her doctor who seemed to have a smile on her face.
"Yes Maya,It does seem like you completed step 5.Congratulations."
Maya smiled faintly.
"So I can leave?"
Her doctor looked at her computer screen for a moment before looking back at Maya.
"Yes.In a few days you shoul be able to leave.We will ofcourse need to assess you."
Maya sighed in relief.It had been such a long rollercoaster ride she had forgotten to breathe properly.For the first time in over 8 months she felt free.Not the bad type of drunk free but the good free.She had Aubrey to thank for that.
"Can I stay for Aubrey's funeral though?I have something I want to say to her."
Her doctor looked at her with a kind smile on her face.
"Of course Maya.I will call Aubrey's parents and let her know that a certain person would like to meet them.They actually asked about you but I didn't know whether you would want to meet them.I believe that they wanted to thank you.And also the funeral is on Tuesday."
Tuesday:4 days.
Maya walked out of the office and back to her room.She didn't even care that her hunger was beginning to become painful and her throat was hoarse.She had to complete a task before Aubrey's funeral.
She had to write a song dedicated to Aubrey.It was the least she could do.
__________________________
Missing You

I heard that you've been
Self-medicating in the quiet of your room,
Your sweet, suburban tomb.
And if you need a friend,
I'll help you stitch up your wounds.

I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
But if you need a friend
Then please just say the word...

You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out...

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do;
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
And if you need a friend
Then please just say the word...

You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out...

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do;
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

Grit your teeth, pull your hair,
Paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the world
'Cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back,"
And never for a second blame yourself.

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
(no, you can't cover up)
(one, two, three, four!)

Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one (this ride is a wild one),
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
Now don't lose your fight, kid (don't lose your fight, kid),
It only takes a little push to pull on through (push to pull on through),
With so much left to do;
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.

Hello.It was wuite a deep chapter and also my longest one yet.I enjoyed it very much.There will be one more chapter of this book and then the sequel.THE SONG IS NOT MINE IT IS BY THE AMAZINGLY TALENTED ALL TIME LOW. You should listen to it.Hope you enjoyed this and I hope to see you all shortly in the final chapter and next book.
Megan