I'm just trying to BE right

Rethinking

After I left the house I was on my way to get a motel when I realized that we still had a week or so reservation at the hotel in Hilton Head from our honeymoon. When I walked in, the receptionist and the manager gave me a shameful look. I ignored them and met Tracey at the elevator. She seemed to be getting off of work. "You didn't have to call the police. Me and Brenda are fine. Our kids are safe." I said to Tracey. "I understand that but by Hotel Policy I had to call the police and I didn't know Brenda had kids. I guess I don't know anything about her." Tracey replied sadly. "You good?" I asked Tracey. "Look can you come up to my room I just want to know more about you." "I don't think that is a good idea Javion." Tracey replied to my request in doubt. "No, it's not like that. After all you're my sister-in-law right? I just need someone to talk to." I responded. "Sure, but no sneaky stuff." She agreed to come to my room. "Room 408, here we are" I said. Tracey responded "I know the rooms. After all I work here." We both chuckled. I opened the door and threw my jacket on the chair. I noticed the chair was moved from when I pushed it on my way out. "Well looks like you did more than hit her." Tracey said in a joking manor. I looked at her with a look that said that her joke was out of line." "Sorry" she said embarrassed. I moved the chair back and picked up the flowers and planned parenthood letter. I through the letter in the trash and lead Tracey into the bedroom. "Um where are you going?" Tracey asked? "Man, its not even like that, come on." I said. Tracey came into the room and sat on the bed. I sat next to her and asked about her childhood with Brenda and her present life. She admitted to being a stripper to pay her way through school. She also talked about how her father despises her for running away when she was younger and getting pregnant. She confessed to me that she didn't just get pregnant but, she was was raped by her uncle when she was 15. "Oh, damn. I went to far. I never told anyone that!" Tracey cried. I held her and said "You'r secret is safe with me." As I held he she began to stop crying. I hadn't felt this comfortable with anyone in a long time not even Brenda. I even told Tracey about my past and my parent. I told her secrets that I never told anyone. Brenda always made me feel shamed about my past and never tried to understand. I know after we had kids that my life would become about them but I would like for someone to ask how I feel every now and again. I know a man was not suppose to show emotions but I had to take this opportunity. Before I knew it I kissed Tracey. I caressed her body and continued to kiss her. She held on to me as she slowly opened her legs. I laid her down on the bed and continued to rub her fat ass. She told me to not to stop feeling her and kissing her and making her feel good. I knew in my head that I was wrong but so was Brenda for telling me she wanted to to marry Justin. I began to make love to Tracey. If i ever thought I was complete with Brenda I know I am complete with Tracey. She cares for me. I can already tell. To be honest I'm rethinking being married to Brenda. It's time for a divorce.