I'm just trying to BE right

Decisions

We woke the next morning around 7:00 a.m. and she said she had to leave. "Um, um, yea, okay bye" she put on her clothes and tried to open the door. The door was sorta jammed. I walked behind her to open it. I stood behind her and pushed open the door. She stood there. I could smell me on her. I got closer and closer. She started to breathe heavy. "Um, Jav..." she uttered before I kissed her neck. "Javion" she tried to grasp my attention. "What? Huh? You really want me to stop?" I said but got no reply. I took my hands and rubbed them on her left thigh. She moaned. I turned her around and walked her to the bed with my hand on her breasts. *bee-bop-ohh-...* her phone went off. She suddenly realized was taking place and answered her phone. 

"Hello"

"Yea, I'll be there in a minute"

She said then hung up. "I got to to go".

"Okay, see you later" I replied.  

I got in my car and drove home. By time I got there Brenda was on the couch talking on the phone. I walked in and went to take a shower. While walking in the house I noticed how clean it was. After my shower, I saw the layout plans for my gym in one of the rooms on the dresser. I put it in my drawer because if I ask Brenda for this divorce i'm going to leave this house to her and the kids.

In the far distance I can hear Brenda laughing on the phone and the kids playing. I really don't want my kids to grow up in a broken home and I also don't want Brenda to be unhappy with me. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a energy drink. I kissed the babies and walked to Brenda trying to tell her "bye" but she kept talking on the phone. "Brenda". "Yes girl, she know she was wrong for that" she said chuckling on the phone! "Brenda BYE!" I yelled over her. As I was walking out I saw Shaun walking up to me. 

"Wassup man?" he yelled at me. 

"Man,  nothing but a thang"  I replied.

 "Where you going"? asked Shaun.

 "I'm just going for a ride, I need a minute to think."

"Oh, Ok. Alright so I will talk to you later...

"Ok... Cool" I replied.

I got in my car and pulled off. I don't know where I'm going but I got to go. *ring* I look at my phone and see that Mia is calling. I answer. 

Javion: "Hello?"

Mia: "Hey Javion, Mia wants to see her daddy would it be fine if she came over?"

Javion: "WHAT? You don't ever have ask if she can come over. She has her own room over here to. Of course she can come over. I'm coming to get her".

Mia: "You right! Yea, come on over. By the way, I'm moving soon".

Javion: "Where"?

Mia: "Well, um. Well you know I'm marrying Martin and he is in the military"?

Javion: "Yea....."

Mia: "Okay so, he got stationed in California. So I'm moving with him and taking Karen".

I was in silence. She wants to take my baby girl. My oldest child across the country!

Javion: "That's my daughter you want to take. I don't know if I like that idea. I need to meet this guy."

Mia: "Oh of course you will. Can we all meet at Lavier's Resturant. Me, you, Martin, Karen, Brenda, and the twins?"

Javion: Yea... That's fine. Well, I'm in the car. I am about to pull in the driveway.

I hung up and so did she. I don't like that my baby girl would be leaving me. However, I know that Mia would take care of her. Karen was born 3 months before my twins. Although alot of drama went around Karen before she was born, she is still my miracle and blessing. Something else I noticed is that Mia has matured so much. It might be Martin that helped her grow or maybe even Karen but whatever and whoever it was, It worked!

I knocked on the door and Mia came to the door. She hugged me and asked me how I was. I told her I was fine and confirmed that we would be meeting on Friday to talk about Karen. Then, she passed Karen to me and Karen hugged me tight.  "Hey baby! How you doing big girl?" I asked her. She just smiled. "ma, mama, mam,..." she tried to say. "OHHHHHH YAYYY! She said "mama" first" laughed Mia. "Oh shut up" I said joking. "Alright well I'll call you tonight" I told Mia as she closed the door. I put Karen in he car seat. As I strap her in I realize that there are 3 car seats in the back seat and laugh. I got in the car, put my seat belt on, and turned the car on. I started driving home. By time I got home, Brenda was at the door saying "Karen"! Brenda ran to the car and took Karen out her seat. I grabbed Karen's diaper bag. I took it in the house and put it in the nursery. As I went in the nursery I noticed Jr. awake and Le Le sleep. I picked Jr. up and sat on the nursery chair. " Jr. daddy made so very bad choices. For that, I am sooooo sorry". I kissed him and Brenda walked in with tears in her eyes and said "Jay she fell asleep in my arms. Imma put her in the crib. Okay, well so is Jr. We put them in their cribs then walked into the room.

I told her what Mia said about taking Karen to California.

"Will Karen needs to be with her mom. That just means that you and sometimes we need to go to California to visit at least once a month." Brenda said reasoning. "Okay, your right." I agreed. 

*ring* I read a text from Tracey in my phone.

-text from tracey-

HEY JAY, ARE YOU BUSY? IM OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE. 

When I read that my heart stopped. I ran outside to her. "What the hell are you doing here?" "I need to talk to Brenda" she asked. "Why?" I asked afraid she would confess our affair. "Im not talking about us. I just want to talk to my sister." I grab her hand and walk her in the house. Brenda came around the corner and asked why Tracey was here. Tracey started telling Brenda about her in the past 12 years.

I left them alone for about 40 minutes and when I came back they were hugging each other and talking. "I missed you Tracey. I think about you every night." Brenda confessed to Tracey. "Same here" said Tracey. I asked to speak to Tracey alone and she said yes an met me in the kitchen. "Can I meet you later? I'll text you my address." she said quickly before I could get my words out.  She walked out quickly in her tight jeans , red shirt with her back out and, red bottom heels. I know I was wrong but all I could think about was her ass. I walked out the kitchen and opened the door for Tracey and she left. "I'm going out tonight with my boys" I told Brenda. "You always going out" she said. "WELL DAMN, WHEN I'M HERE YOU PUSH ME OUT THE FUCKING BED AND ARGUE. WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO? I yelled at Brenda. "To hell Javion, straight to hell" she snapped back at me. "The way you acting I'm already there. You gonna keep fucking with me and Imma do something that's gonna hurt you" I said. "What! What! You gonna cheat on me?" she asked. I walked to the room and started dressing. Brenda followed me in the room yelling. "SHUT UP before the kids get up" I told Brenda. She lowered her voice but proceeded to curse me out. I looked in the mirror and sprayed Gucci colon on. I walked past her and went to find my keys. Brenda then began to cry and plead "Jay, Jay, JAY!!!" What Brenda"? "Are you cheating on me?" she asked still crying. I found the Keys to the Escalade and walked out without replying.

I started driving to Tracey's house. I stopped at the Wine Store to pick up some beer for me and Tracey. About 20 minutes later i pulled in to Tracey's apt parking lot.