Everywhere You Go (Lawson Fanfic) - On Hold

Chapter Thirteen - Will You Forgive Me?

(Joanne's Point of View)

I lay on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. After only a few months of being married and I was separated from my husband. Also to top it all off I was a month away from giving birth to our baby. 

   "Here you go." Adam's voice said and I sat up to find him sat across from me and a glass of water in front of me on the coffee table. 

   "Thanks." I said picking the glass up and leaning back into the couch. 

   "Aw come here." he said and moved over to sit next to me and pull me in for a hug. I could feel myself start to cry against his shoulder. 

   "What is so wrong with me that every guy I'm with feels the need to cheat on me?" I asked. 

   "Nothing is wrong with you Joanne." he said quietly. I shook my head and pulled away, wiping the tears off my face. 

   "There must be. I mean I was happy with my ex Blair then he cheated on me. Now I was happy with Joel, we were married and having this baby, then he goes and cheats on me." I said. 

   "Joel loves you to death. He's a complete wreck without you. He just regrets it completely." Adam said and reached over to pick up my mobile. Joel had been staying with him since I'd told him when we got back to London he was to get out of the house. I mean I was hardly going to walk out when everything for the baby was here. 

   "Yeah well I'm a wreck as well. I shouldn't be this upset and stressed now. In case he didn't know but I'm a few weeks away from my due date now and this isn't helping me at all." I pointed out. 

   "He does know that. I honestly think you should at least hear him out." he said. I turned to face him, I was slightly pissed at him saying that. 

   "Why? He cheated!" I said. 

   "I know he did but honestly, I think you should hear what he has to say before you decide to throw this all away. I mean four years together, you're married and you're about to have a baby together. Do you really want to throw all that away and have that little baby's parents split up over a kiss that meant nothing to him?" he asked. I frowned at him. 

   "I hate you for being able to talk me round to things like this." I snapped. 

  "You love me really cause I'm your best friend. As well as Erin of course." he smiled before standing up. "Now I'll head home while you call Joel. You know where I am if you need me." he said. I stood up with him and hugged him before he headed out to the hall and out the front door. I sighed when I shut it behind him and turned back to head into the living room where my phone was sat waiting for me to click Joel's name to call him. I scrolled through my contacts and stopped when I got to Joel. I tapped his name and pressed call. It felt like ages until he picked up on the other end.

   "Joanne! I'm so glad you called." he said although his voice sounded rough, like he'd been crying. 

  "Hi. Can you come round? To the house that is." I started to say but he cut me off. 

  "Is everything okay? It's not the baby is it?" he asked frantically. A small smile spread across my face at his concern. 

   "No, it's not the baby. I want to talk. So can you come round?" I asked. 

  "Of course I can. I'll be there soon." he said before I hung up and sighed. Now to wait for him to get here. 

I sat and looked up at Joel who was sat across from me looking from his hands to me then back to his hands. He looked a mess. I hadn't seen him since the night I caught him with that girl. I'd texted him to tell him to make an excuse and go back to London. I stayed in Nottingham for a few more days then came back home on the train. 

   "I'm so sorry Joanne. Seriously I wish it had never happened." he said quietly finally looking at me and nowhere else. 

   "I know you are. I don't want to throw away what we have because of a stupid kiss. I want to take you back but not before you tell me why you done it? Because I just don't understand. I thought you loved me, I mean obviously or else we wouldn't be married. You know about the shit past I've had with ex boyfriends. Plus we were so happy at the party, talking to everyone about the baby and us. So I just don't get why you done it Joel." I said as I pulled my legs up onto the sofa. I looked down at my hands which were sat on my bump. I heard him clear his throat and I looked up. 

   "I didn't do anything." he started off saying and I was about to interrupt him but he stopped me. "Just hear me out. I didn't do anything okay? I was outside getting some fresh air because that hall was seriously stuffy with everyone inside. I was stood out by the steps when Ally showed up. I don't even know how she knew I was there. She was an ex fling before you ask. She wasn't a girlfriend or anything. I was different before you remember. I didn't do relationships, I had flings. And she was my main one. I was trying to get her to leave because it was a family thing and I didn't want her starting on you about anything. That's why we were round the side, I was telling her she had to leave. She kissed me first. Just before you appeared she kissed me. I didn't kiss her and I was trying to get her off me." he explained. I stayed silent for a minute. 

   "And that's when I walked in?" I asked eventually. He nodded. 

   "Yeah, I never wanted to hurt you. I was trying to get her to leave and she kissed me. I'd never do anything like that to you. I know that doesn't make it any better that but I promise you it will never, ever happen again. I love you too much." he mumbled looking back down at the ground. He stood up and walked over to me before kneeling down in front of me. 

   "It still hurt me though." I whispered. He took both my hands in his and looked me in the eye. 

  "I know and I can never apologise enough for what happened. I just don't want us to throw everything away over it. I'm not asking you to trust me instantly, I know it may take a while for that again but I will ask you this." he said and pulled my wedding ring out his pocket. I'd given it to Adam to give to him. "Will you forgive me?" he asked holding my ring up. I smiled a little and let out a small laugh. 

   "Yeah I guess so." I said and took my ring off him, putting it back on. I leant forward and gently pressed my lips against his. I felt him smile into the kiss. 

   "I'm going to do everything you want for me to make it up to you." he mumbled against my lips. 

   "Well you can start off by lying in bed with me and ordering in a take out?" I smiled. He nodded and held onto my hands and helped me up before we headed up the stairs to our bedroom.