When you Awoke{Romanogers}

Ch 76

A/N: a chapter I wanted to make but had to be scrapped.
Minor spoilers for those who have not read Black Widow: Forever Red.
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It was late midnight, and her dreams just started. Clutching the gun tightly in her hands, Natasha felt her heartbeat sped up, and her palms grew sweaty. They never leave.
The nightmares, the plague of faces stained with blood, and her brother Alex shouting,"You could have saved me! You let me die!"
Natasha let out a sob to her brother,"No Alexi! I didn't kill you! I'm sorry," the redhead curled up into a fetal position she could feel outside the dream. Her brothers face would twitch and morph into a face covered in blood with gaping holes around his body.
"I'm sorry Alexi, I'm so sorry," Natasha would whimper.
~X~
Wondering endlessly in search of a room at midnight wasn't Steve's forte, but he heard Natasha's sad sobbing.
Rounding the corner to see Natasha's room open, he quickly ran inside and rushed to her bed.
Bending down, Steve tried to shake her awake; only to no avail as Natasha didn't open her eyes.
"Nat, wake up! You're having a nightmare! Please wake up," Steve whispered, shaking her arm as gently as he could.
Suddenly, he saw blinking, and when Natasha opened her eyes, she shot straight up clutching the gun and shouting, "Alexi!"
"Natasha, put the gun down, it's only me, Steve," he gently told her, coaxing her into a relaxed state of security.
If the redhead heard him, she clearly didn't acknowledge it. Natasha was breathing heavily, her emerald eyes wide and sweat forming on her body.
"Steve....Steve....," she mumbled, and after blinking a couple of times she turned to face him.
"I thought I closed my door," Natasha stated after a couple of moments.
"I heard you from around the corner, so how long has this been going on Natasha?"
Natasha opened her mouth to answer, but only to close and rethink her options.
Steve placed a hand on her left shoulder and spoke gently to her,"You don't have to tell me if you'd like."
She paused.
"Twelve, it started when I was twelve. Right after my first murder."
Steve stood up, holding out a hand to help her up too. "You need water Nat or your about to pass out," Steve teased lightly as she took his hand.
Feeling more comfortable, Natasha gave him the award winning smirk. "I won't pass out Rogers," she stated in a matter of fact attitude.
Steve let out a small chuckle and look down at her hands, noticing the sharp glint of silver.
"Natasha, leave the gun," he asked politely.
Her eyes narrowed as she stared back at him. "No Rogers, I don't feel safe without it."
Steve placed his own hand on the hand that was holding the gun, extracting the  object from Natasha while she stared at him. "Rogers, what are you doing?"
"Someone once told me that people throw rocks at shiny things, but remove the rocks from the shiny object before they hurt themselves," he replied, setting the gun down on the nightstand.
"I...don't understand."
Steve looked up to gaze into Natasha's eyes, searching for something he didn't see, and ended up holding her gaze with his own,"I'm removing the rock from the shiny object. I'm removing the gun so you don't hurt yourself Nat."
Steve quickly walked out the room to get her a glass of water, leaving Natasha to ponder what he had said.
I'm the shiny object, and the gun is the rock. And soon I'm going to hurt myself with it.
Steve came back in with the glass to see Natasha sitting back on the bed, staring at her now empty hands.
"Here," he said, handing her the glass.
She mumbled a 'thanks' and started sipping it.
They sat in silence for some time, and while Steve hated it, he knew Natasha just needed to calm down and relax.
When she finished the water, Steve stood up off the bed and started to walk away, but a small hand stopped him.
"I'd.....rather not be alone Rogers, do you mind staying," she asked quietly, and almost sounded like a plea than a request.
"Sure Nat."
Natasha, you rock my world in so many ways, I just hope I can make the first move.
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A/N: I like Michael Jackson, sue me. I was originally going with the song Remember the Time but I couldn't find just the song so I went with Rock My World instead. No I am not a big fan of his, I just like his music, it's catchy. So uh, Happy Early Christmas and see you guys until Saturday!

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           ~ƒσɾεѵεɾ ɾεδϖίηδ