Where The Love Light Gleams

December 22nd

"I want to come home."

Shin does not see any immediate reaction from her mother, not even a flinch. So she expects something in the negative. But after pouring her some tea, her mother sighs and looks at her.

"Of course, you do," she says with a smile.

It's a lovely Tuesday afternoon that is meant to be spent outside with tea and pastries. It's also meant to be spent with someone you love. So Shin decides to spend it with her mother. But also because she really needs to have this conversation with her.

She's made up her mind, and the very first person she wants to tell all about it is her mother. Her opinion matters the most to her. But it's not like she'd change her mind just because her mother won't approve of it. Besides, why wouldn't her mother approve of her coming home, right?

"So, you're not surprised?" Shin asks.

"I'm your mother, Shin."

Oh. She gets it now. Motherly instincts.

"What made you decide to come back?" her mother asks.

Shin sighs, like she's trying to hold it together. "A few days after I got back, Jazz told me she wanted me to come home."

"Ah," her mother huffs out a laugh, like she's getting what Shin is not saying. Of course she does.

"But she said, she won't ask me to. She said that I have to choose that I'll come home and for the right reasons."

"Oh, she really is just like you, smart and self-less." Shin smiles at her mother's compliment.

"I think I have found the right reasons, Ma." Shin's smile is tentative.

Maybe felt is the better word, she thinks. But it probably won't make any sense, because it only makes sense to her. And that's all that matters. It makes sense. It feels right because it is right. And with her mother, she knows she doesn't have to explain anything else.

Her mother's smile is reassuring, which made her feel so much better. "Have you told anyone yet?"

She sighs, "No. Just you. I just- I wanted to be sure first."

The older woman nods at her. And somehow, Shin feels like everything is going right.

"And what about Ian?" Her mother asks.

"What about Ian?"

"You cannot lie to me, Shin. You think I don't know that Ian's a huge part of why you want to come home?"

She's caught her. Of course she does. Her mother probably knows how her mind works.

"Is that wrong?" she asks.

Her mother reaches for her hand, "I don't think there is any right or wrong when it comes to love."