Where The Love Light Gleams

December 24th

Shin and her family makes Christmas Eve a bigger affair this year. Close extended relatives included. Partly because it's her first Christmas back after a few years, but also because she's decided she wants to tell everyone today that she's coming home.

She's thought about telling Ian first, but she decided it's probably not the right time yet.

And she's glad that they made this into a bigger affair. Seeing her cousins, hearing the little laughter of her nieces and nephews and just the general ambiance of their place, help her calm her nerves.

When the clock strikes 12, they start with a prayer, a beautiful one, led by her father. Then they eat noche buena together. It's easy, happy, and festive. And she absolutely loves it. Infinitely better than the Holidays she's spent alone. Fortunately, she doesn't have to endure any lonely Holidays anymore.

 

When everyone's been served with wine – all adults, that is- she stands and clears her throat. She's not good with speeches, especially impromptu ones. Oh, this is really gonna suck, she thinks.

When she's got everyone's attention, she sucks in a deep breath and hopes for the best. "I-" she smiles because, really, she knows exactly what to say. She just doesn't know how. "It's a shame that I already forgot how festive the Holidays are here. There's a different kind of happiness when you spend it with the people you love. "

Everyone's eyes and attention are on her, and she can feel it. She can feel the words on the tip of her tongue, just ready to spill out any moment. But she has to take control, she needs to take control. "Needless to say, I wouldn't want to miss any more Holidays without you all. So, I'm coming home. I've decided to come home for good."

Fortunately, everyone smiled and some even cheered. They're happy, mostly surprised, but happy. She's scanning everyone's faces and reactions that she forgets about the toast. Thankfully, her favorite cousin did it for her. "Here's to Shin's homecoming," and they clink their glass with one another's.

For Shin, the most fun part is watching the kids open their gifts. She's got something for everyone of them. She's declared herself as Godmother of the Year based solely on the reaction of the kids.

There is one person though whom she has not seen a reaction from – her sister. She was at the dinner table, but Shin didn't notice where she's gone. So she starts to look, and she finds her sitting on their terrace.

The night is chilly, sending crisp wind. Just perfect for the holiday spirit. They're silent for a few minutes.

"I need to know you're okay with this," Shin finally says.

Jazz huffs, "does it matter?"

"Yes, it does," she replies. She needs to know because Jazz is one of the persons greatly affected by all of this – all of the drama that Shin has created.

Jazz hums and gives a sarcastic laugh. "Of course, it does."

Shin is so done with it. "I thought you wanted me to come home. Now that I am coming home, you're giving me this. I don't know what else you want me to do, Jazz."

Then, they're silent again. For a long while. It's effective for the both of them.

"I'm just trying to save myself the heartbreak, you know," Jazz says softly. "I'm trying to convince myself that it's real. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that once I've finally done that, you'll be gone again."

Oh. Oh her heart hurts.

Shin pulls her sister for a tight hug, because what else is she supposed to say?

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise," she murmurs into her hair.

And for her sister, it's already the best Christmas ever.